The curtains flutter and there's an overcast outside the window....the sun is hiding shyly behind a curtain of clouds....you know that rain or a storm is imminent. You watch the birds flutter south in a group, black crows spreading their wings towards a new destination and you know you're ready for rain. You're emotionally ready for it as you sit by the window, watching the sky darken and the clouds grow heavy.
Yet you're NEVER ready for the first rain drop. The sudden splitter splatter of raindrops break your concentration and you feel the unexpected feeling of surprise and awe. "I thought I was ready for you", you smile outside. "But I guess one is never ready for something like this"
Like death.
Many of us have spent years waiting for it to happen. We knew it was inevitable and that one day we would have to face up to the fact. Some of us wishing it would come sooner and let the axe fall because it's been a painful and torturous journey for all. Confusing and debilitating years causing friction, finger-pointing, arguments amongst those close to the subject. Yet, we hate to think that it is unavoidable.
Like rain. You're never ready for loss of a loved one.
Today, my grandmother ends her fight with old age. She's finally completed her job as a human being and being a part of our lives....and moved on to a better place where she can run, laugh, smile, answer nature's call without anyone's help. A place where her knees can hold her and her arms can flap. Despite the fact that we've all been preparing for the completion of this final lap of hers, we're still caught by surprise. My father sounded bad on the phone and some of us are still in a daze....well, a little.
Strange, isn't it? We knew it was coming and yet.....we get knocked over by a news we've been expecting to hear for years. Goodbye ah-mah......
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p.s. My blog on Hong Kong trip will resume. Oddly enough, although shaken and a little confused, I'm fine. I just hope that my family members and my uncles and aunts are able to handle the situation well.
When asked what’s my one single favorite thing to do in the world, I would usually name a whole list of things that I love to do when my work is not screaming at me. Something that takes my mind COMPLETELY off of everyday tasks and relaxes me. Take a guess what it is…. If you say ‘ reading ’, yes, I love reading (especially soppy love stories with lots of sex scenes, please. Hee hee hee ….) and I also love mystery novels but it’s not the first on the list. If you say ‘ playing the piano ’; yes, I love playing the piano. Creating forms a huge part of my life and whenever I play the piano (as inept at it as I am), there’s this tiny little girl inside of me jumping up and down with glee, clapping her hands. It’s my childhood dream to be able to play the piano! And thumping on the keys gives me a sense of satisfaction when I hear the music. If you say ‘ writing ’; You’ve got to be kidding me! You mean I don’t write enough as it is? Case closed. If you say ‘ playing with my kids ’; Yea...
Comments
It is never easy like you say, whether we expect it or not, we are never ready.