Skip to main content

Birthday Story: Life in the Fabulous 40s

At some point in your life, you stop noticing how old you are. More accurately, you stop bothering about the number of candles there are on the birthday cake. Instead, we tend to notice new white hairs, creaky joints, and wrinkles. 

One of the things that I've noticed about creeping past the 40-year-mark is that I have a renewed confidence about the things I do. Apart from fixing the leaky sink, faulty electric socket, or removing computer viruses, I think life has delivered me a flurry of experiences that has finally become pretty useful. 

People in their 40s also tend to care less about what people think. "So, you don't like the new AWESOME home decor piece I bought for my bathroom? Screw that."

My priorities in life have also changed. I no longer care about making a statement when it is too much bother, keeping up with the Joneses, or what that guy I just furiously honked at thinks of me. 

My social circle, online and offline, has also gotten smaller; I think it is only for the better. Instead of posting, reading, reviewing, checking, and then worrying all-day about something I or someone else wrote on Facebook, I've decided to limit my personal internet use to just Instagram and Facebook Page (not the usual personal Facebook. I've given that up like I've given up alcohol). It was wasting too much of my dwindling days on earth. 

With my kids' feet halfway out the door, the prophecy about people in their 40s going into mid-life crisis mode is also sort of coming true for me. 

Everything involving work, personal life, and family are kept in segmented compartments in my mental cabinet of life priorities. I need to take certain steps in the right direction in order to match the march of life my kids are making. 

Finding someone to be with is not important to me. Instead, finding people who share my passions, love for wit, and exploration is on my cards. I am not Yoda but I seem to think a lot more like the Zen Master of Star Wars than ever before. I hate the misconceptions about it and we laugh about it...but what can say when it is the truth. 

I am not afraid of being alone. I face the prospect of living out the rest of my life as a single, old lady with ten cats for company (I don't) but that does not worry me at all. I can already imagine the kinds of adventures I will do SOLO and with my kids (and their other halves - who knows).

It used to make me feel bad when a relationship or friendship ended. When life ended. But when you're past 40, these have become absolutes of life. They're the kind fractures in your timeline that you can't escape. No point fighting them. 

The cheap date drunkard still lives on in me but I think has only intensified in magnitude...if that's even possible. #lol Health and family are more important to me now, compared to before; but apart from that, there's a sort of release from inhibitions that used to keep me caged up and awake at night. 

While my kids still laugh at me and call me the 'the most unsavvy tech-savvy digital person on the planet", people come to me for advice or my feedback simply because of the few extra white hairs I grow every night. I won't tell them that I still struggle to change the light bulb in the toilet but I guess it's great that they value my opinion. 

I just wish I remember where I park my car or placed my keys better. 🤦

There's also a paradigm shift when you're in the 40s, it is easier to find the good in something or someone. I begin to notice that I don't miss what I don't have. What I have right here, right now, is absolutely my right to have. And I appreciate that I have it. I stop focusing on people who wronged me or situations that could have turned out better, and instead, I look only at the things that went right. 

In part, that had to do with the fact that, in our 40s, we suddenly face the issue of our mortality. Our friends, family and people we follow on the internet, fall sick, suffer from physical ailments, and losing their lives at unexpected junctures. 

They often feel like physical slaps in the face. 

It's a reminder that that's every human being's ending. So, we better focus on the good and wonderful NOW before the chance slips out of our hands. 

And if I can't continue being bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for very long more, I might as well enjoy being a little rough around the edges and take pride of being vintage. 

While physically I may not be able to get up when I get down either on my knees or on squatting position, I think it's still possible now to get back up mentally and emotionally because of the grit I've accumulated. I think being stuck in a squatting position and calling out for help in the middle of the store can be disarmingly charming. 

That's my take, anyway. At least someone's laughing. 

At the very least, in the midst of this Coronavirus lockdown, I've got family, friends, my kids, things I need (basically), work to do, and people to spend the rest of my life with. 

Thanks to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday! 
Let's make the rest of the journey count for something, 
Happiness is (Almost) Everything. We need money for some things (lol) 🤣,


Popular posts from this blog

Stargazer - Stretch Those Sides

I have been doing this pose, part of Cosmic Dance (a type of yoga, I am assuming), called Stargazer pose without knowing it is called Stargazer's pose a lot in the past. You see, sometimes, I don't follow the rules and come up with my own stretches and poses. It is fun. I have on some music, nice, soothing music or just anything I can click on. Then I go with the flow, letting my hair down. Just moving to the music...and that is when I come up with the above Stargazer's pose. This pose really stretches your sides. Keep your eyes on the outstretched hand if you are keeping it pointed to the top, as if you are waving or connecting to a higher energy from the Universe. Your arms will ache a little but hey, toned arms, here you come! :-) For those who want a bigger stretch, it is safe to slowly and gently move the lifted hand towards your back...don't overdo it, listen to your body's complaints and respect it. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, reme

Maid Side-Kick

I was kind of a little sad when I read the news about this - there will be no live-in Indonesian maids in Malaysia anymore . There are pros and cons to having a live-in maid, as with everything else, but for us, we enjoyed more pros than cons. Back then, when my kids were little, we brought in a family of maids to help with...well, just about everything, and we were like two families merged into one. They ate what we ate, we sleep, they sleep, we shop, they shop, they joke, we laugh, we joke, they laugh...for me, the maid I hired was more like a sister and side-kick to me. For that few years, I was dependent on her to mind-read my schedule and when I need or don't need help. She picked things up quickly and we ended up having lots of moments whereby we were in sync. Today, two of them are on my Facebook and we were gleefully chatting over Facebook Messenger since they've just discovered the wonders of the Internet and Social Media. Since we were more like partners in crim

The Short Hair Scandal

Except for a short period of my life where I donned long hair (which was mightily unkempt), I've mostly sported the short or bob hair cut. I just didn't have the time to deal with the straightening, curling, or whatever it is that women are required to do before they get out of the house to buy a bag of salt from the grocery store.  I've wanted to write something about how An San, a rising archer from South Korea,  got flack for sporting a short crop . Despite her performing with near stellar perfection.  How is having short hair a sign or declaration of anti-men?  Are men who wear their hair long anti-women, then? I don't even know where this is going because it doesn't even make sense. LOL. Short hair is simply easier to manage. The flip side is that if you have to attend a gala or a big event, short hair is even harder to style! PLUS, some women just look fantabulous with a short crop! Miley Cyrus , Katie Holmes , Michelle Williams , Meg Ryan , Natalie Portman ,