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Single Parent All The Way?

This is one of the most honest parenting article that I have read in a long time....and I follow quite a few similar sites with similar articles. Maybe it just struck a chord with me.

Maybe, just maybe, I will also become a single mother forever. (read this article from Babble.com)

While some of my friends are in hot pursuit for their other half, actively hitting everywhere in search of their significant soul mate, I just don't feel the urgency. I am sure my stance have been criticized or laughed and joked about (to their credit, they did it to my face, I don't want to know what people say behind my back, anyway) because I have not utilized my 'tools' (you are allowed to think dirty here) for some time.

Is THAT the priority, my question is? You're going to look for a man so that you can.....what? LOL

Believing in an unbelievable love?
It's not that I do not want love or believe in love anymore. I do, oh boy, you don't know how much love I am capable of throwing out...but you will just have to spend some time tearing down my walls. But once you are through those walls, come here, baybee...

This terrifies my mother in particular, wondering who will be taking care of me when my children leave the nest. Am I going to be all alone, crying in the corner of the house, never eating at the right time, never doing my work or become a social defunct?

I don't think so, is all I can say. I am going to stalk my children, wherever they are going to be, that's the plan. LOL

Independent and selfish
People who don't know me or don't take the time to get to know me will easily think that I am overly independent and selfish. Maybe, maybe not.

I am happily parenting my teen boys 
Listen, I have been doing this for more than a decade and have never really gotten any help (except during the kids' early years) running this whole thing. Just have to do a million things at the same time. And some ignorant bloke will think 'you disappeared from the face of the earth 'read: party scene' after the birth of your kids'.

Errr......hellooooo....

Even to this very day, my kids are not welcomed at dinners where there are singletons. Give me a solution to THAT and I will come out to your party. Oh, wait. It's too late.

Issues? Sure!
Yes, I have trust issues too simply because...well, think about it for a second. Through the years that I have dated and married, I always pick the guy I gelled with the least with the notion that I can fix them. Then I find out I can't fix anyone if there's nothing to fix so, I don't have a stellar record of picking the guy who treats me like a Princess over the guy who is brooding in the corner like James Dean. LOL

Winner: Always the bad guy.

Lackadaisical attitude
I clean up OK but I don't do the whole makeup, off-shoulder dresses, diamond studded high heels, concealers and fake eyelashes kind of thing anymore. I just don't anymore and if I do, it means SOMETHING BIG's about to go down. Or my mom set me up.

I think if someone's out there and looking for a soul to connect with, connect with my soul first. Thereafter, I can dress up as Cat Woman, Ella from Frozen, Black Widow, nurse, policewoman or President Obama all you want.

OK, the President Obama thing...maybe not. It's a joke, OK?

I just don't want to do so many things to hide the real me from everyone anymore. I feel good when I dress up, of course, and a layer of makeup can boost my confidence level by quite a bit and I feel like having a little fun.

The thing is that I learned how to be confident without them and now, they seem trivial to me. I've been out of the house in XXL men's pants, vomit in my hair and smelt like leaking breastmilk before, remember that.

So, I don't know. Maybe one day but not today.

XOXO,
Marsha
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