Battle With My Conscience

I do a bit of charity work sometimes...when I feel especially thankful for having food on the table and money in the wallet. So, when a friend on Facebook posted the following, I went a little like...HAHAHAHA.

I don't do non profit work, the first rule of non profit work is that there is a shitload of profit, its an oxymoron like "reality" t.v. If you want to help Africans then lets fly to Africa or Haiti or wherever. If you want to help homeless people then lets actually do it ourselves, give them information on programs and some money and a meal. We must be proactive and stop lazily texting money to a vacuum of phony non profits. If you want to help Veterans then go outside the V.A etc..

You know, I can't agree more. I've taken cash before. People trust me with their hearts to do the right thing but let me tell you something, when it comes to cold, hard cash......MAN! So, I can't tell you that I am an angel with nary a greedy thought in my head. I've struggled with.....

'I can take this and NO ONE WILL KNOW!!! PUAHAHAHAHAHA. IT'S MINEEEE!!!!'

If I did anything untoward with my friends' trust, I wouldn't be posting this. So, I've won every single battle against myself since I started doing this. I even bragged it off, to let steam off, for having unearned money in my account, as a favor to a friend/client.

I told my son, 'You know, I have $xxxxx in my account. And it's not even mine! PUAHAHAHA'. Of course, my son tempted me with 'Can we keep it?'. And when your son ask you something like that, reality sets in, doesn't it?

So, I can say that, yes, I agree that there is bound to be some 'profit' in some charitable organization. As much as I would love to believe that these organizations are all CLEAN and CHARITABLE, I've struggled with myself before and I know what it feels like. And I believe that my desire to help is strong....stronger than some who are EMPLOYED by these organizations.

When I struggle with my own greed, all I need to do is to look at pictures like these. It would not be my friends that I will be betraying, it would be them. How is it possible to betray these people? Pray tell, tell me how.

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