This is a bit of a somber post but that is because I've been listening to, hearing, trying to understand a type of phenomenon.
I knew that men abandon their families before. They've abandoned their wives, yes, but families is quite another thing. When it happens to someone else, you hear about it and sympathize with these women and kids, it's different. When you see it happen to a friend or someone you love, it is quite another story.
I don't get it. Why are men the way they are, completely listening to their libido all the time? Can't they have a decent responsible bone in their body and not listen to the one single bone that listens to hormones? Is that 'love'?
So yes. Some people I know, I have come to see and understand, are left completely on their own. Left to deal with a family that was meant to be a fairy tale one. Dreams turned turtle. Home wrecked. Kids unloved. Women struggling to keep it together and holding fort.
Well, fine. Sometimes, it is the other way around, like the woman who left her kid for London and then coming back to claim the daughter? As a woman, I sympathize with her but she made her choice many years ago and she should not come back to haunt the child and father who stuck it together all those years. She made her choice and has to be held accountable for abandoning her family. Violence and abuse or not. She should have dealt with it more prudently.
Thank goodness for organizations like http://wao.org.my/
If you are a woman, being abused emotionally or physically or left without resources, please do not hold it there all on your own. You are not super. In Malaysia, call this hotline: 03 7956 3488.
I knew that men abandon their families before. They've abandoned their wives, yes, but families is quite another thing. When it happens to someone else, you hear about it and sympathize with these women and kids, it's different. When you see it happen to a friend or someone you love, it is quite another story.
I don't get it. Why are men the way they are, completely listening to their libido all the time? Can't they have a decent responsible bone in their body and not listen to the one single bone that listens to hormones? Is that 'love'?
So yes. Some people I know, I have come to see and understand, are left completely on their own. Left to deal with a family that was meant to be a fairy tale one. Dreams turned turtle. Home wrecked. Kids unloved. Women struggling to keep it together and holding fort.
Well, fine. Sometimes, it is the other way around, like the woman who left her kid for London and then coming back to claim the daughter? As a woman, I sympathize with her but she made her choice many years ago and she should not come back to haunt the child and father who stuck it together all those years. She made her choice and has to be held accountable for abandoning her family. Violence and abuse or not. She should have dealt with it more prudently.
Thank goodness for organizations like http://wao.org.my/
If you are a woman, being abused emotionally or physically or left without resources, please do not hold it there all on your own. You are not super. In Malaysia, call this hotline: 03 7956 3488.
Comments
First, may i ask u a question? As a Chinese lady, are u willing to marry a man with no money at all?
I was married to a man last few years and he followed me to London because I already stayed there. Before get married, I knew already that this man has no money at all. In fact, he has no saving.. no bank account.. For me, I really do not mind at all as long as the guy is very hardworking and knows his responsibilities as a husband. We made an agreement before getting married. Both of us agreed. But u know what had happened after that? I thought this man has a strong willing to improve himself, but actually he was a lazy man! Always depended on me.. took for granted.. because he knew I have the money for us to survive.. Is that kind of man we all want as a husband?? I gave him many chances to improve himself until one day I really tired of him. It was like I am the husband & he's the wife. I thought after we got baby he will change to be more responsible.. we sent our baby back home.. I wanted my mom to take care of the baby because every month I was the one who gave the money for our baby expenses. I didn't want other people (in-laws) to use my money. But that guy wanted his mother to look after our baby. What to do.. As a wife u should listen to the husband what.. but still every month I was the one who gave his family money. Every month I gave RM500-RM600 to his mother for my baby expenses. I told his mother earlier that the money was for my baby's expenses.. toiletries, milk, clothes & everything.. supposed the husband must provide everything.. she took care of the baby for few months only..
as i stated earlier, the guy was so lazy to work.. everything he depended on me.. until one day I didn't have money left in saving, he left me alone in UK. He was the one who left his wife behind when his wife needed help & support from his husband in order for her to complete her studies. But it was okay. Never mind. If he wanted to left his wife it should be alright but he must support & give some money to the wife to survive alone in London.. but what had happened was another way round.. the wife had to give money to the husband for the husband to survive in Malaysia for some period of time. Funny.. isn't it?
How do u survive in a place which very2 far away from your family & friend with no money at hand? Its very hard to find a full-time job with Student Visa in UK.. You really cannot survive with unfix income.. if I can get 500GBP in a month.. I was so lucky that time.. How can you can survive? Tell me.. you need to pay for room rental around 300GBP (cheapest in London if you can get it).. you need to eat.. to pay bills.. everything need money.. right?
It is the toughest moment I experienced in life. But I am proud of it, because I managed to face it. That time, I already made up my mind, I wanted to divorce. Easy for me.. because I was very2 tired.. tired of everything.. I was down with nobody beside me.
This dishonest man.. after many times I failed to make him go away from my life.. I gave him a chance.. never mind.. let see if he can change to be better person.. let see if he dares to do funny2 things in future.. but if he may repeat again.. I should know what to do because I am not that stupid anymore..
So, now I have learned lots of thing about men. What I am going to do is to build up a good career.. for me, my daughter & my family (mother, fathers & sisters).. not for a husband or any man..
first of all, let me applaud your courage!!!!! and your strength! i have two friends who are going through pretty much the same thing, have kids, husbands are cheats and then left the wives to handle everything.
i feel for you and urge you to be strong.
and no, the woman who left for London is not my friend but just a simple comment on my part. if she chose to leave, she should take responsibility for it. she left.
it's true, it is hard to find a good man, nowadays. if you find a good man, hang on to him.
good luck!
It is hard to trust 'him' again. He lied & cheated me lot of things. He wasn't a good man. I hate him for what he did to his ex-wife. Until now, eventho i'm with him.. I don't have feeling towards him. Sometimes, when I see his face, I feel I'm stupid for accept him. I was trying to break off but he threaten me & wanted to give trouble to my life..
Sometimes, he said people stupid or idiot.. at one time I said to him if he said people are stupid.. what about him? he scandal with someone's wife for ages.. he also stupid what..
I don't know la Marsha.. I just hate men..