Breaking Up With This Friend

Young woman lying in bed

Dear Writer's Block,

It's not you, it's me ... .really...it...is...all....me. It has always been all about me and I am sorry that I have to break up with you this way. As much fun as it has been to spend time with you, idling in front of the computer, feeling utterly so frustrated with life that the brain isn't chugging along, we have to go our separate ways.

I can only reminisce about how wonderful it feels to have my fingers hover over the keyboard for countless hours with no words written. Oh, can you remember the time when I sat there with you writing out total rubbish? Hahahaha!! God...that was fun, wasn't it? Feels good to waste all those hours writing bullshit and then slowly, word by word, backspace them all to hell!

I mean, come on, who needs money, right? There's grass outside. Oxygen is, the last I checked, is absolutely, irrefutably free of charge! Water can be tapped from the common area. Imagine the savings!

The kids? They're overweight anyway. So, see? All this thought about needing to write something because I need to make money....it's an illusion that I would have to do away with.

Such good times, eh? :)

Anyway, despite having spent much of today with you and having all that fun, I have to say goodbye to you. Someone just rang my doorbell about 30 minutes ago demanding to repossess my car. 15 minutes ago, that stupid old fart called on me to evict me. And I can't call out anymore because they terminated my phone line and initiated a law suit against me.

On top of all that, my kids started eating the plants outside already.

So, goodbye my old friend, Writer's Block. You'll be missed.

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