Chelsea to Make Our Boys Sing the Blues Tonight

So, Chelsea is going to come and play a 'friendly' with our local kampong boys, huh? Cool, eh? Once again, we are praying that we won't be eating ling-kai-tan after the 'friendly' where the Chelsea boys are probably going to use only 10 percent of their skills and energy level. Hitz.fm was running a top 10 ways for Malaysia to win Chelsea tonight and here's my contribution.

Don't play! DON'T PLAY, DON'T PLAY, DON'T PLAY. Run for your life
Feed them alcohol all night long and spike their mineral water with vodka before the game
Feed them enough Nasi Briyani to oil up their intestines so that they need to visit the toilet every five minutes
Release cockroaches and other forms of insects, preferably reptiles, into the hotel they sleep in so that they don't get as much sleep as they should
Stuff some money into their pockets so that they will try their best to 'pretend' to lose a few points (which is definitely a sure thing there lah)
Lock their hotel rooms so that they cannot get out
Cry in the middle of the game so that they give-chance or give-face

These are merely my humble suggestions lah in order for our local boys to win because Lawrd knows how agile, quick on their feet,and also how brilliant their stamina is whenever they are on the field despite decades of eating into our money and feeding our disappointed hearts with bad news all these decades...running on centuries liao.

Anyway, it's a joke lah. I would like to challenge the boys to something by saying something along the lines of 'Prove me wrong, guys' but I know it's probably futile effort, so whay waste my finger muscle typing those words out.

Oh, I've got a couple of jokes to share with you guys, anyway...courtesy of my son, Joshua. They're bathroom and fastfood jokes....typical of boys.

I wouldn't waste a cent on going to game with results I already know wan, but apparently, some others would. Anyway, maybe it's to see the leng-chai's there or something....oh....well, that doesn't sound like such a bad idea after all.

Who stole the soap from your bathroom? Robber Duckie

Who stole the pig from the farm? Ham-burglar

Who stole the cow from the farm? The Cheese-Burglar

Who stole two cows from the farm? The Double-Cheese-Burglar

Who had a fish biting its fingers? No....it's not Johnny or the little boy counting one to five.... It's the boy who had Fish Fingers

A Liberating Activity - Guess What Mine Is....

When asked what’s my one single favorite thing to do in the world, I would usually name a whole list of things that I love to do when my work is not screaming at me. Something that takes my mind COMPLETELY off of everyday tasks and relaxes me. Take a guess what it is…. If you say ‘ reading ’, yes, I love reading (especially soppy love stories with lots of sex scenes, please. Hee hee hee ….) and I also love mystery novels but it’s not the first on the list. If you say ‘ playing the piano ’; yes, I love playing the piano. Creating forms a huge part of my life and whenever I play the piano (as inept at it as I am), there’s this tiny little girl inside of me jumping up and down with glee, clapping her hands. It’s my childhood dream to be able to play the piano! And thumping on the keys gives me a sense of satisfaction when I hear the music. If you say ‘ writing ’; You’ve got to be kidding me! You mean I don’t write enough as it is? Case closed. If you say ‘ playing with my kids ’; Yea...

Maid Side-Kick

I was kind of a little sad when I read the news about this - there will be no live-in Indonesian maids in Malaysia anymore . There are pros and cons to having a live-in maid, as with everything else, but for us, we enjoyed more pros than cons. Back then, when my kids were little, we brought in a family of maids to help with...well, just about everything, and we were like two families merged into one. They ate what we ate, we sleep, they sleep, we shop, they shop, they joke, we laugh, we joke, they laugh...for me, the maid I hired was more like a sister and side-kick to me. For that few years, I was dependent on her to mind-read my schedule and when I need or don't need help. She picked things up quickly and we ended up having lots of moments whereby we were in sync. Today, two of them are on my Facebook and we were gleefully chatting over Facebook Messenger since they've just discovered the wonders of the Internet and Social Media. Since we were more like partners in crim...

Demanding a Balanced Lifestyle

We live in a world choked with demands….demand for more money, better lifestyle, more holidays, smarter kids, bigger house, posher cars….etc. People walk around with spiritually unimportant goals in their minds driven by the need to succeed and be better than others around them. Hong Kong. South Korea. Japan. Most Asian countries suffer from this ill-fate which have caused a horrific rise in the number of suicide rates in the said countries. Malaysia is no exception as well although we’re very slowly gaining ground on our neighbors. Just picking up my son from school can become a stressful affair. I’ve mentioned this to a few friends of mine over the phone and all of them cluck their tongue shake their head. It’s end of the year and the kids are getting their test results back by now. I overheard a couple of tai-tais (housewives) gripe about their kids’ results. Mom: I don’t know-lah. My kid did not do very well this term. The best also got 95 only. (NINETY FIVE ONLY???) ...

Marsha Maung: I write. I love. I live

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