I've been asked before whether I regret giving up the entertainment business for my freelance writing 'career'. I've been asked if staying at home and caring for my kids is worth it....worth giving up all the 'fame' and 'fortune'. Is the adoration of my kids anything close to the applause I get on stage when I've done a good job. Have I ever wondered what it would have been like if I've persisted and decide not to have kids?
I don't know the answer to that but I don't regret having my kids. I am the blessed kind of person who's got multiple talents (my father call me the Jack of all traits but the Master of NONE) be it writing, singing, dancing (if you can call that a talent) and anything else related to entertainment. I've got a talent for bull-shitting too which is how I managed to get my law degree AND write about menopause like I was a doctor without flinching! :-) I have a tag line for myself which is BORN to BULLSHIT. Hee hee hee....
Recently, I helped my old band members, Ji Yu Jin, set up a website for their project at http://www.tanktune.com/. And as usual, it made me think about what I would have been like if I had not given up being a musician.
Ji Yu Jin back then. Like....OMG!!! So dumb-looking, rite? Only the far left two are left (Joe & Louie) of JiYuJin. If I had persisted, do you think I could have developed into Gwen Stefani of NO DOUBT? Pua ha ha ha ha!!! With that hat, maybe not. The hat is something I got off some cap palang shop costing RM6 or something. Poor musicians lah, what to do?
JiYuJin right now. FUNKY leh....better than the above picture where the background is some lorong behind some char-kwei-teow restaurant leh? The original members are Joe (middle) and Louie (far right). See the difference or not?
Frankly, I've not listened to a single one of their songs over the years that we have lost touch and only recently, I met up with them again. Working with them for Tanktune.com, I got to listen to some of their songs lor. I have to say some of them are actually quite nice....like this one called 'Broken'. It's got a really nice tune but pity that the drum wasn't any more unique....that's my only complaint. As usual, Joe's rough and out-of-bed voice raise eyebrows (he talks like that and he's not forcing it out, this is the usual question we get asked when we see fans). I've got to say that they've got talent and they deserve to go very far in their career and with my expertise (ahem!) on the Internet, I hope to give them and their songs some exposure to market outside of Malaysia.
Knowing Louie, I think this is what he has in mind as well....to tap into the Internet. Just so happen that they have a former band member who is 24/7 on the Internet and knows how to promote website wan. Lucky them. Well, lucky me that I get free songs.....
To answer the question on whether I regret giving up being an artiste? There are too many sacrifices to be made as a singer and artiste...I don't think I want to give up many parts of my life for one passion. I have too many passions (writing is one BIG one) so, no, I don't regret.
After all, music is universal and there's no age limit to music. My attachment to the stage is one thing but when I look at things closely, my passion is with music and the creative process. The applause and performing on stage is just icing on the cake. Eating the icing makes you fat so, I can live without it.....
Oh, click this and open a new window to listen to Broken by Ji Yu Jin. Since I am here, might as well give them a bit of free promo, rite or not? Like the chinese people say, 'wanna act, might as well act the whole show lah'
I have been doing this pose, part of Cosmic Dance (a type of yoga, I am assuming), called Stargazer pose without knowing it is called Stargazer's pose a lot in the past. You see, sometimes, I don't follow the rules and come up with my own stretches and poses. It is fun. I have on some music, nice, soothing music or just anything I can click on. Then I go with the flow, letting my hair down. Just moving to the music...and that is when I come up with the above Stargazer's pose. This pose really stretches your sides. Keep your eyes on the outstretched hand if you are keeping it pointed to the top, as if you are waving or connecting to a higher energy from the Universe. Your arms will ache a little but hey, toned arms, here you come! :-) For those who want a bigger stretch, it is safe to slowly and gently move the lifted hand towards your back...don't overdo it, listen to your body's complaints and respect it. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, reme...
Comments
Anyway, the gist of what I said was you will always know that whatever you choose in life is what you really want.
Nothing is too big a sacrifice for our children.
Talk about perfection, huh?
:-)
When they are adults chasing girls in skirts and no longer need you to 'mummy' them anymore...that's where you may realise just how much you were really living FOR them.
Time to put YOU back in perspective.
Killer
Me = what makes me happy now and feel that life is worth living
Happy = pursuing my dreams + watching my kids grow up + being there for them + playing piano + reading/writing books + going on holidays
Of which, I am already doing a lot of them. Therefore, I conclude that I am quite happy as I am.
True that they will need me less when they grow up but when they grow, the letting go process begins slowly...not abruptly. I am ready for that (altho don't really like it). I will let go when the time comes.
The secret is maintaining the balance between being selfless and selfish. Being too much either way is not good. You should review how you take to parenting as well...could you be leaning too far off the other end?
No offense ah....just for the sake of discussion only. :-)