Marsha Maung: I write. I love. I live

"I just bought this really cool phone that can download movies and songs directly from the Internet…I don’t even have to attach it to the computer or anything. Just like this…zap! The whole movie. Isn’t this, like, the coolest thing since the invention of the wheel or something?" gushed my friend shoving her new phone into my face. I smile politely. Oh, yes, I am a little green that I don’t have such a gadgety phone to boast about but then again, it just seems to confirm a basic principle that I live by all this time. I believe in technology but only when technology serves to make life better for me and it makes me happier. It seems that my friend is happier about showing it off than about being able to download and watch movies on her mobile phone. I can do the same thing with my four-year-back model PDA but I don’t. Never done it…probably never will. It’s the strangest phenomenon for me because our society has become so materialistic that many people’s goals have chan...

Whdaya know....I am writing a screenplay at the moment and it's like a sci-fi thing, right? Granted, sci-fi and X-files stuff is like my 'favorite' type of movies in the world, right? Like I would rather have my tongue burned with liquid acid, right? I love Mulder and Scully and I heard it is quite exciting....I can't even take the type of music they play for these sci-fi flicks, where can sit in the cinema and watch lah, right? :-) So, I have to give Mulder a pass this time round. Then apparently, it's damn good for sci-fi screenplay writing, you know! My active imagination is engaged in full mood which means that I am literally chasing after each scene as I am writing it....and I am the one writing it summore, so I am like...."So, what happens now? Faster type lah, faster lah!!!" Hee hee.... Oh....I said no work today, right? And I am working, right? Hee heee hee....

Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday toooooo mmmmmeeeeee.... clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!!!! Tomorrow, not doing anything in particular. In fact, not doing anything at all. Not sending the kids to school, cancelled piano classes for them, no cooking, no cleaning, no washing, no laundry, no sweeping, no work....not a single thing. I am just going to pig out. And oh, one more thing, I just practised doing something I am really bad at...and that's in saying NO. My mother-in-law called me and asked me if I wanted to go 'pasar' tomorrow morning. I didn't lah, but I felt that, as usual, it would be more convenient for her that I fetched her there. If not, she's got to take taxi there and all that....with that load of vegetables and meat she buys, OK? Not kidding...she buys a whole damn lot! So, I said 'OK' albeit a bit reluctantly because at the back of my mind, I was having this big pig-out party al...

So, Chelsea is going to come and play a 'friendly' with our local kampong boys, huh? Cool, eh? Once again, we are praying that we won't be eating ling-kai-tan after the 'friendly' where the Chelsea boys are probably going to use only 10 percent of their skills and energy level. Hitz.fm was running a top 10 ways for Malaysia to win Chelsea tonight and here's my contribution. Don't play! DON'T PLAY, DON'T PLAY, DON'T PLAY . Run for your life Feed them alcohol all night long and spike their mineral water with vodka before the game Feed them enough Nasi Briyani to oil up their intestines so that they need to visit the toilet every five minutes Release cockroaches and other forms of insects, preferably reptiles, into the hotel they sleep in so that they don't get as much sleep as they should Stuff some money into their pockets so that they will try their best to 'pretend' to lose a few points (which is definitely a sure thing th...

What kind of world are we living in these days? Robbers take from poor underpriviledged people ? WTF? Robbing and stealing is already farking wrong as it is but to scare the daylights out of girls who already don't have a lot is sick! Sick to the point of lunacy.... Saying 'sorry' isn't going to fix anything or make the act right, bastards! Hope the police catch the idiots soon and then when they're in jail, they suffer. What kind of idiots do we have in our society these days huh?

Do you know when was the last time I actually took SUPPER? S.U.P.P.E.R. The word was erased from my dictionary and obliterated from my life since....since....I dunno....eight, nine, no....twelve years ago? I. NEVER. EAT. SUPPER! NEVER !!! Not even when you place my favorite char-siew-farn or korn-low-meen in front of me. Nope, no way, no siree, no thankyou. But today, I ate two bowls of Hokkien mee and I think I am dying already. I am fatter (I don't care that it's PMS time) as I am writing this and can you hear that? That sound is the sluggish chugging on my cholesterol-infected arteries. It's clogging up, I'm telling ya! I'm dying. I'm dying! I'm dddyyyiiinnnnngggg...... All because of that stupid Hokkien Mee seller, I tell you. If not for the bugger, I wouldn't dying so young. Don't tell me to get a grip because if I add on a single pound tonight and it shows tomorrow, I'm going to plant a bomb in the Hokkien Mee seller's wok. Be warn...

I like to make things as simple as possible in the kitchen. As long as it’s edible and simple to make, then that’s mua’s recipe. As you can see, I am no chef but I like to eat the food that I like to eat and I also like to make the food I like to eat…provided it’s simple enough to make. Anything that involves complicated blendering, chopping, hours of cutting….not for me. RM16 sausages…no preservatives, no MSG, no processing, everything very de-healthy sausages… Don’t look down on these sausages. These pork sausages are very wholesome and as unprocessed as they come. That’s why they cost RM16….six for RM16, so each sausage is about RM2.6666666. They’re almighty delicious, though so it’s worth it. But considering the fact that the price of just about everything on earth is going up, I’ve been on this mad rampage to keep every meal under RM15. This meal is a couple of bucks over the budget…only the sausage alone, so what the hell lah, right? But here’s the thing…. I cooked these ...

Stressful. Every Wednesday is stressful. Here’s why 6.15am : Wake up, prepare breakfast 6.30am : Shower 6.45am : Wake kids up and get them to shower 7.25am : Leave house, fetch kids to school 8.00am : Reach Joshua’s school 8.15am : Hang around in BHP petrol station 8.45am : Fetch Jared to school 9.10am : Reach home, start work 10.30am : Prepare lunch 11.45am : Fetch Jared and his schoolmate back from school 12.15pm : Send schoolmate back home, reach home 12.30pm : Lunch 1.30pm : Clean up lunch stuff 2.00pm : Start work 2.45pm : Drop Jared off at piano class 3.00pm : Dash off to pick Joshua up from school 3.25pm : Got Joshua and send him to piano class next 3.45pm : Reach piano school 4.00pm : Joshua’s piano class 4.30pm : Joshua finish piano 4.45pm : Reach home, prepare dinner 5.45pm : Clean-up kitchen 6.30pm : Dinner 7.30pm : Clean-up dinner stuff 7.50pm : Finally get to sit down for a while OR work 8.15pm : Shower ...

Don't understand why I went to bed before 12 and yet woke up late this morning. Errr...maybe it's cause quality of sleep was bad. Loads of funny and made-no-sense dreams, I guess. Anyway, it could also be because of such conversations of late. Me: So, which room is going need change in flooring? Designer: All lor....the whole house mah. Me: ??? Why lah? Designer: Once you hack the walls, then got to change lor. No choice liao Me: Cannot hack 'gently' meh? Designer: Eeer....mumble, mumble, mumble (this bitch don't understand the renovation industry) Me: OK OK OK....so the lighting all kow-time hor? Including the bathrooms hor? Designer: Lightings sure kow-tim but don't include the sink, the tub and the toilet lor Me: Then how much everything? Designer: More or less *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* thousand lor Me: WHAT??? (Niamah) Designer: The flooring already *bleep**bleep**bleep* thousands lor.... Me: So.....back to the hacking gently bit. Possible kah?

I know I am late because today is Tuesday and it's supposed to be posted on a Monday but hee hee....anyway....I still needed the pick-me-upper this morning. I would love to get the chance to visit this place. Just one question....do I get to choose who to punch? Oh boy! You don't want to piss this set of screwdriver off....

This is the theme song for Journey Called Life sung by Steven Ma and Linda Chung. Excellent song, if you ask me. I was having a tussle in the video shop…which DVD series to buy…which one which one which one? Journey Called Life (Journey) wasn’t my favorite because of the cover. It looked like they’re going to be talking about…sigh…family life and sigh…a marathon? Sigh….please, spare me. But luckily, the sales person went out of her way to convince me that it was a very good series. I squinted at her and said, “Ya meh? Look so boring, man. I don’t want those feel-good comedy cheesy shows wan ah….” And she crosses her heart, “If this series is not good, you come back and look for me!” OK. So since she put it that way, OK lah. I bought the one with a couple of people in running clothes wan lah. It better be good. Was it good? Let’s just say I would have had to spend the sales lady a few dinners over lor…it was phenomenal! One of the best TVB series ever ….really. You know how TVB...

In movies or in books, we've read about how some people actually save lives or help others or make friends by offering people a ride. You know...people in the West usually hitchhike from place to place on highways thumbing their way around. But in reality, in Malaysia, more precisely, this is not completely possible, is it? Not when we're living in a country where the crime rate is close to deplorable. Not when we are not used to giving strangers a lift in our cars. And definitely not when we have kids or elderly people in the car with us. Today, after badminton, as we were heading out, back to my sister/brother's place for shower and dinner, curiously, we saw a man thumbing his way. My brother, my sister and my car one by one, one after another....sailed past him. But not without each of slowing down to take a good look at the face of the man or checking to see if he's really in desperate need of a ride! But the thing is this...I had kids in my car with me and I ...

It's funny but when I was about in my teens, I did wonder why we say hangout whenever we go to mamak or went clubbing. I always assumed that we say 'hangout' meaning we 'let go' or let things 'hang' but I was wrong. Apparently, here's what it means. In the early days when the English Language was still developing, it seems that a business place is called a hangout. (Ack!) If you have a grocery shop, that's your hangout. But it is restricted to mean that it's a place where you run or own a business. If you work in an advertising firm, that's NOT your hangout, that's your torture palace! It seems that the term originated from a time when they didn't have the large signboards that we have today. Last time, they literally HANG OUT a sign in front of the door to indicate that they have a business there. As in "Ah Kow Barber" or "Que Que Massage Parlor". Hence, back in the oldern days, they usually ask each other,...

As a freelance writer, I am ashamed to say that words sometimes fail me. And I hate to repeat myself, so, I am going to use a different method to express myself today. Sometimes, I draw. I am awful at it but it's fun, so I have this little notebook that I draw stuff into it while I am teaching the kids how to do their homework or right before I sleep, I draw or scribble. Today, I drew sometimes and because someone's said I was predictable before, here's a little something predictable in a 'different' way. Tiu . For those who are curious, just click here to view all of them . Tell me why eventhough Anwar was arrested, tested, released, and being questioned, why are still being punished with the road blocks? We din do anything, right? Except to vote against BN, right? Aaaahhh....maybe that's it. Bodohwi is trying to prove that he's still got the political muscles leh...so, he punish common folks like us, izzit? OK, OK, OK.....I shut-up...

Every morning, I camp out in a BHP petrol station after sending my first son to school. I like the atmosphere there....except for when it's raining (it gets freezing in there). I eat my nasi lemak, sip my coffee, my younger son feeds on his vitagen and play his game or do his homework there. This kakak There's this 40-ish lady working there, cleaning the floor and throwing the trash wan. Every morning, her face is black as charcoal. I ignore her most of the time, unless I need her to get me something lah. It's strange but I think she doesn't like me (particularly the fact that my kid sometimes makes a mess on the floor eating his Twisties) very much. But be it lah, sour face also OK lah. The cashier is much nicer. No Coffee Days For the past few days, there's been no coffee for me because they ran out of those disposable cups. Whenever I asked the kakak, she would not even turn around when telling me, " Takda ". I think it was since last Thursday tha...

Once again, WTF!? Woke up bright, nice and early and stuck in horrendous jam caused by massive blocks setup by police because they fear another gathering? If it's peaceful gathering, then let it be-lah. I don't know about you but I am getting tired of the clown show our government is putting up. Why can't the Lah-Lah-Suk just give up the fight? I think he doesn't want to resign or step-down now because his name will go down in history as one of the most disgraceful Prime Ministers in the history of Malaysia. It's all to save face only. Imagine.... In our history books, it might go on to describe Lah-Lah suk as follows:- "Pemerintahan Lah-Lah Suk amat memalukan kerana beliau boleh dikatakan setanding dengan salah seorang Perdana Menteri Amerika Syarikat yang bernama Bill Clinton. Walaupun PM Clinton telah memalukan negara dan diri sendiri apabila beliau ditangkap tanpa seluarnya dan kontroversi sex-nya telah menjatuhkan maruah beliau, beliau telah melanjutka...

Last year, there was this really huge hit that got the whole of Korea rocking...one song, one group of girls (seriously lacking in vocal skills). 'Tell Me' is a song that got even the vegetable sellers in the streets dancing their simple yet catchy dance moves and lyrics. From school kids to the regular bus drivers and fish mongers, they all know the dance moves and lyrics. Seriously. Even the Korean couple who runs the Korean BBQ restaurant here (they've been here for more than 8 years, I think) also can dance the the whole song! Imagine that...but that's the thing with Korean, they're very patriotic. Even when they hate the government, you can never find them using an Ericson or Nokia mobile. Everything has to be either Hyundai or Samsung. If you use a Nokia, I have a feeling, you'll get hammered down the street and stripped of integrity. Wondergirls is a group of girls produced and manufacturered by the same person who 'gift wrapped' the singer R...

Ever since I was young, I have always been rather entrepreneurial in spirit. Where there’s money to make, that’s where I will go. :-) Maybe it’s because I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I’ve had to work for pocket money. If there was a NKOTB CD I wanted to buy, I had to work and save for it. Therefore, it’s not a surprise that I’ve held many part-time jobs in the past. Sometimes, more than one part-time job at the same time. At one time, I was so hungry for money that I worked three jobs at the same time which worked out to be like this…. 8.45am – Kindergarten (Chim Kindergarten) 1.00 – Shoe sales person 7.00 – CD shop Here are some of the past part-time jobs I’ve held in the past and what I think about them now. Tuition Teacher Not as if I was exceptional in my studies but it helped me earn a quick buck here and there ever since I was in Form Four. I taught students as young as Std. 2 how to spell their own names, make sentences and do simple math. I don’t re...

Help! There's something wrong with my gas meter lah! It's always showing red and the arrow fall so fast wan? How come ah? Every weekend, I pump the same amount of petrol....RM60 into the tank because it's always ngam-ngam for me every week...I don't go very far coz I fetch the kids to and from school and sometimes run errands or to the in-laws or something. Cannot go wrong with the figure! Because of the rise of petrol price, I decided to up it to another new standard 'pumping' price....RM70. I think it's about last week that the meter started conking out on me. Around Friday, the meter is almost all the way down liao. I sit there and wonder, where did I go ah? Very far meh? No. I did not go Klang for seafood. No, I did not travel for shopping expedition in MidValley Mega Mall. The furthest I went also 1 Utama which is nearby. Then where ah? Looks like I have to 'up' the weekly 'refill price' again this time cause the last time I pump w...

This morning, woke up at 6.15am fresh and peeked out the window to see that droplets of rain crashing onto bowing leaves outside. Sigh....absolute bliss. So serene...the rain smells exquisite in the morning. After my shower, I came out, peeked out the window for another whiff and saw that it's raining heavily now. Oh. Tiu . Nearby, parents driving their kids to school in the morning rain started honking madly at drivers taking too long to unload their children into the school. Trucks and cars blaring their vehicle horns madly while I woke my kids up...praying that it will stop soon....before I head out because otherwise, I will have to join them with their honking. Murphy's law apply. Whatever you fear will happen, happens. And I end up joining the jam. Here's the funny thing. I was contented with the jam, reading my Reader's Digest whenever the car stops but it rained heavier and the cars weren't moving. I took a right outside my house when we came out, so,...

Sigh...what an eventful weekend...both good and bad. On Saturday, we set off for Melaka for a quick weekend getaway with my in-laws and all that. In-laws have a 3-storey shoplot in a strategic place in Melaka and they turned it into a small motel aimed at tourists looking for cheap sleeps, lately. After much work, the motel is finally ready and they decided to launch it 6th July. Before it launches, when everything is still new and stuff, we packed our stuff and kids and headed over to 'enjoy' the 'facilities' and provide feedback for improvements....and launch it with small ceremony-lah. My parents went along for the ride and 'free stay'. Allow me to do a little bit or ad-work for them here ah.... hee hee.. ***ADVERTISEMENT*** M Motel is a cheap place to stay when you're in Melaka. Very strategic, near Mahkota Parade and only a couple of minutes walk from quaint restaurants and other outlets. Add : G3, Plaza Mahkota, Jln PM15, 75000 Melaka Tel:...

Do you see it? There's shit flying all over the place, man. Malaysia is covered with human droppings all over the place and it's all coming from the Parliament building. Walau-eh! These people, I tell you, like drama, man. You sodomizer. You effed a dead blown-up woman. You tell lies. You take photos. You write letter. You snoozed on the job. Aiyo....tsk tsk tsk. I thought I was stressed out. I cannot imagine what the eedeots are doing and feeling in there. They are probably like CSI or some X-File thing, right? Digging left right and center to find a loophole or a photo, fabricate a story and then publish. The press is the stupid SH lah, in this case. But they have no choice. Here's the thing...why don't they just hire some farker to plant a bomb in the enemy's home and be done with. All this sheet flinging isn't doing the country any good lah, rite? We would rather they get it over and done with and then concentrate on how to make the nation a better (an...

Kota Damansara, Sunway Damansara, Tropicana....they all used to be prime area where the condos and landed properties cost a bomb compared to places like Kajang....or Cheras. There you can get BIG homes for HALF THE PRICE. I used to be quite proud of the fact that I stay in a place where Vincent Tan has got a helipad in...just metres away from my home. But.... ....the growth of Kota Damansara and surrounding empty plots of land is like planting tau-geh (bean sprouts) these days. Instead of luxury cars on the streets, we see Mat Rempits everywhere. There are foreigners living amongst us, not all but some look like they're big enough to wrestle four or five of our normal Malaysian men to the ground in a heart beat. And because there are so many new 'luxury homes' being built around the area, it's no longer a luxury to live here. I have made it known publicly in the past that I hate, loathe, detest, motorbikes and now, every time I open my door....bbbreeennnnggg bbb bbb...