Chelsea to Make Our Boys Sing the Blues Tonight

So, Chelsea is going to come and play a 'friendly' with our local kampong boys, huh? Cool, eh? Once again, we are praying that we won't be eating ling-kai-tan after the 'friendly' where the Chelsea boys are probably going to use only 10 percent of their skills and energy level. Hitz.fm was running a top 10 ways for Malaysia to win Chelsea tonight and here's my contribution.

Don't play! DON'T PLAY, DON'T PLAY, DON'T PLAY. Run for your life
Feed them alcohol all night long and spike their mineral water with vodka before the game
Feed them enough Nasi Briyani to oil up their intestines so that they need to visit the toilet every five minutes
Release cockroaches and other forms of insects, preferably reptiles, into the hotel they sleep in so that they don't get as much sleep as they should
Stuff some money into their pockets so that they will try their best to 'pretend' to lose a few points (which is definitely a sure thing there lah)
Lock their hotel rooms so that they cannot get out
Cry in the middle of the game so that they give-chance or give-face

These are merely my humble suggestions lah in order for our local boys to win because Lawrd knows how agile, quick on their feet,and also how brilliant their stamina is whenever they are on the field despite decades of eating into our money and feeding our disappointed hearts with bad news all these decades...running on centuries liao.

Anyway, it's a joke lah. I would like to challenge the boys to something by saying something along the lines of 'Prove me wrong, guys' but I know it's probably futile effort, so whay waste my finger muscle typing those words out.

Oh, I've got a couple of jokes to share with you guys, anyway...courtesy of my son, Joshua. They're bathroom and fastfood jokes....typical of boys.

I wouldn't waste a cent on going to game with results I already know wan, but apparently, some others would. Anyway, maybe it's to see the leng-chai's there or something....oh....well, that doesn't sound like such a bad idea after all.

Who stole the soap from your bathroom? Robber Duckie

Who stole the pig from the farm? Ham-burglar

Who stole the cow from the farm? The Cheese-Burglar

Who stole two cows from the farm? The Double-Cheese-Burglar

Who had a fish biting its fingers? No....it's not Johnny or the little boy counting one to five.... It's the boy who had Fish Fingers

Stargazer - Stretch Those Sides

I have been doing this pose, part of Cosmic Dance (a type of yoga, I am assuming), called Stargazer pose without knowing it is called Stargazer's pose a lot in the past. You see, sometimes, I don't follow the rules and come up with my own stretches and poses. It is fun. I have on some music, nice, soothing music or just anything I can click on. Then I go with the flow, letting my hair down. Just moving to the music...and that is when I come up with the above Stargazer's pose. This pose really stretches your sides. Keep your eyes on the outstretched hand if you are keeping it pointed to the top, as if you are waving or connecting to a higher energy from the Universe. Your arms will ache a little but hey, toned arms, here you come! :-) For those who want a bigger stretch, it is safe to slowly and gently move the lifted hand towards your back...don't overdo it, listen to your body's complaints and respect it. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, reme...

Maid Side-Kick

I was kind of a little sad when I read the news about this - there will be no live-in Indonesian maids in Malaysia anymore . There are pros and cons to having a live-in maid, as with everything else, but for us, we enjoyed more pros than cons. Back then, when my kids were little, we brought in a family of maids to help with...well, just about everything, and we were like two families merged into one. They ate what we ate, we sleep, they sleep, we shop, they shop, they joke, we laugh, we joke, they laugh...for me, the maid I hired was more like a sister and side-kick to me. For that few years, I was dependent on her to mind-read my schedule and when I need or don't need help. She picked things up quickly and we ended up having lots of moments whereby we were in sync. Today, two of them are on my Facebook and we were gleefully chatting over Facebook Messenger since they've just discovered the wonders of the Internet and Social Media. Since we were more like partners in crim...

Drunk People Cannot Make Comments on Blogs

OK, here's the thing with this image thing....you don't want people to design robots or programs or spiders or cockroaches or whatever to spam blogs and websites. I understand that. In fact, I am all for it. It's annoying to have spambots come in and post one liners like.... Can't get it up? Try this website. Top quality Viagra for low pricing. Value discount if bought inbulk. Or the most common ones would be.... Want a completely paid-for holiday with your family and coming home to a villa beside the sea before taking a spin in your luxury car. Then you have to read this! It's amazing! Within three weeks, you will get $32,000 in your account. Within a month, whether you like it or not, we'll bank in $65,498 into your bank account. Within six months, you're a f*%#@* royalty. I don't like that....and I assuming you don't like that either, right? If you have a popular blog, you get even worse stuff like hate mails, awful comments or people who ...

Marsha Maung: I write. I love. I live

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