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Chelsea to Make Our Boys Sing the Blues Tonight

So, Chelsea is going to come and play a 'friendly' with our local kampong boys, huh? Cool, eh? Once again, we are praying that we won't be eating ling-kai-tan after the 'friendly' where the Chelsea boys are probably going to use only 10 percent of their skills and energy level. Hitz.fm was running a top 10 ways for Malaysia to win Chelsea tonight and here's my contribution.
  • Don't play! DON'T PLAY, DON'T PLAY, DON'T PLAY. Run for your life
  • Feed them alcohol all night long and spike their mineral water with vodka before the game
  • Feed them enough Nasi Briyani to oil up their intestines so that they need to visit the toilet every five minutes
  • Release cockroaches and other forms of insects, preferably reptiles, into the hotel they sleep in so that they don't get as much sleep as they should
  • Stuff some money into their pockets so that they will try their best to 'pretend' to lose a few points (which is definitely a sure thing there lah)
  • Lock their hotel rooms so that they cannot get out
  • Cry in the middle of the game so that they give-chance or give-face

These are merely my humble suggestions lah in order for our local boys to win because Lawrd knows how agile, quick on their feet,and also how brilliant their stamina is whenever they are on the field despite decades of eating into our money and feeding our disappointed hearts with bad news all these decades...running on centuries liao.

Anyway, it's a joke lah. I would like to challenge the boys to something by saying something along the lines of 'Prove me wrong, guys' but I know it's probably futile effort, so whay waste my finger muscle typing those words out.

Oh, I've got a couple of jokes to share with you guys, anyway...courtesy of my son, Joshua. They're bathroom and fastfood jokes....typical of boys.

I wouldn't waste a cent on going to game with results I already know wan, but apparently, some others would. Anyway, maybe it's to see the leng-chai's there or something....oh....well, that doesn't sound like such a bad idea after all.

Who stole the soap from your bathroom? Robber Duckie

Who stole the pig from the farm? Ham-burglar

Who stole the cow from the farm? The Cheese-Burglar

Who stole two cows from the farm? The Double-Cheese-Burglar

Who had a fish biting its fingers? No....it's not Johnny or the little boy counting one to five.... It's the boy who had Fish Fingers

Comments

Jamie said…
Stoooopid BolehLand Football Team....even our mothers and grandmothers can beat the pants off them la....bunch of clods!!!

Thats the main reason why I retired from the National Footy Squad KNNCCB!!
Marsha Maung said…
jamie, You definitely made the right choice there, bro! Otherwise, you will one of those fellas in the field chasing after the ball like a lost puppy....

....just one kick...one kick only...come on lah, gimme lah you fooker! GIVE. ME. THE.FOOKING.BALL.
Anonymous said…
it's surprising but I don't know where we went wrong. we spend so much money on training the fuckers and these buggers continue to buggle around in the field like lil kids. Haiya...tell you...but this time not the real Malaysian football team playing, right? some kind of all-star team playing or something so...maybe not so bad....
Marsha Maung said…
2-0.....why? Malaysia never did any of the things I suggested??? No wonder....
Jamie said…
those KNNCCB so called National Team footy players are a bunch of Beckhams wannabe....play football woh...play own balls also dunno how la.

anon: the money they so called say for footy developement was channelled into some asshole's coffers liao loh. Accounts shows developement but you know and i know la

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