Saturday, November 26, 2016

Failed Protectors

I really felt my anger simmer when I was reading this news the other day.

“The victim claimed her mother did nothing to fend her from the sexual attacks.
“She also claimed that she was threatened by her attacker and could not tell anyone about the incident,” said a police source. - News from New Straits Times

I remember talking to one of my neighbors about having a daughter, she has one. She told me that she has talked to her husband before, that if their marriage did not work out, she is willing to let her daughter follow the him. Her reason was simple - if she were to get married or find someone to be her new partner, she would never know what kind of man he would be despite sleeping and living with him. A man is a man, according to her, and their savage moral-bending ability is always just a layer of skin away from emerging. He could harm her daughter without her knowing so, it would be better for her daughter to stay with the father instead. This is her way of protecting her daughter, a very strong instinct to protect her daughter, by way of separation.

That sickened but enlightened me. Her reasoning is valid. But in the above story, the man is the victim's father and the very person she could count on to stop the abuse was her flesh and blood protector mother.

I can tell you something about the maternity instinct. It is cold, really cold. Maternity instinct can kill attackers when their children is under attack. It can also ruin marriages and tear families apart but it also ensures the children's safety under all circumstances.

But what happened to the maternity instinct of the mother mentioned above? Does she have none whatsoever (which is possible, some people really have none and should opt for childlessness. Not saying it in a bad way, but in a good way, everyone has his or her purpose in life)? Was she subdued to a point that she dares not voice herself in the face of such a powerful instinct to protect her daughter? Does she not care for her daughter? Or worse yet, was she watching in glee (good forking Lord!)?!

As for the father, a person like this should never have children EVER! This is his daughter, his flesh and blood, why is he even doing this to her? People who rape their own flesh and blood are cold-blooded creatures that should never breed. They should be denied the chance to have children and when they are jailed for such crimes, I hope they pay for it in more ways than one in there.

In such cases, I hope Karma is the kind of Bitch that we know she can be...and MUCH, MUCH MORE.

Picture credit : Sad Woman from FreeImages.com

Marsha

Saturday, November 19, 2016

You Are Good Enough

This mom, just made a lot of us feel so much better for sucking at parenting sometimes. Whoever you are, thank you! I think you've just lifted a whole bunch of moms on the Internet! Kudos to you...and that wonderful therapist you had!!

Heart, heart, heart!!!!



Happy Saturday, everyone!
XOXO,
Marsha
p.s. Why does XOXO suddenly feel like so old-school? Since when, right? What's the new trend these days? XD? As in, Ex-Dee, the way my younger kiddo says it? Whatever, never mind.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

The World Trumped by America

I get it. America is now for Americans. I know but does it mean that we are now divorced from the entire country? What saddens me is not the President himself but the fact that major countries, including the UK, are pulling away from the rest of the world. This smacks of separation and the biding of farewell. With the broadening reach and unification of the Internet, we are pulling away from each other and I think I know why. When we are in trouble, the UK or the US extends their arms towards us. But when they are in trouble, (it is perceived) no one will be there for them. This does not look like a healthy social world relationship, therefore, the major powers of the world are pulling away in an effort to recover themselves. While some formerly-small countries stride ahead with massive progress, major countries remained stagnant. So, while the UK have broken up with the EU, America is now broken up with the rest of the world. For now. Our relationship status should be, instead, Temporarily Complicated. The best way to move ahead for the rest of the world is not to get angry because we don't understand, we should try to UNDERSTAND instead. Maybe we were not listening. Sorry but I can't help feeling a little sad.

If there is one good point Trump made, it would be the airports part. He said that America's airports are third world.


Incheon Airport (Seoul, South Korea)

Changi Airport (Singapore)

KLIA airport (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)

Heathrow airport (London, UK)

Hong Kong airport

Disclaimer: I cannot confirm whether the images used are current, old or merely projected designs.

Love,
Marsha
p.s. Like everyone else, we are all reeling back from the shock, so am I, and I am consumed with the need to understand how this happened and why. There are reasons for this and one of them would have to be 'fed up' and 'need to change'. I envy this ability about the United States because we simply do not have the freedom Americans have, to freely change your leader as and when you want. For whatever reason you have...and that is what I am trying to understand. The reason. 


Image Credit : The World (freeimages.com)

Monday, October 24, 2016

Windows Offering No Window Out of Updates

I hope I am not the only one who hates Windows' continuous efforts to 'make things better' with their updates. Last week, Windows forced me to update again and over the weekend, I struggled with WTF is wrong with Windows syndrome. My desktop is gone and replaced with all those irrelevant Windows icons and I am now forced to use Apple-wannabe Cortana to find simple things like Paint and Notepad.

Ugh.

I was so determined to not even acknowledge the existence of Cortana. I can't even deal with the name to begin with. LOL.

Anyway, I still have to use my laptop for work. The great thing is that my 10+ years old PC is still working and Windows no longer supports whatever Windows version it is running on now. YESSSSSSS!!! DON'T freaking support it, YES! This means, things look and behaves the way it should, the way I am familiar with, from 10 years ago. Everything is where it should be and nothing changes overnight.

Aaaahhh....the beauty of familiarity and consistency. So beautiful. Hahahahaha

So, I continue to struggle with this Windows bullshit here on my laptop and will continue to look for ways to stop Windows from forcing itself on me. And it's Monday too, everyone's favorite day.


Yoda is always right. Coffee on, people,
Love,
Marsha

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Mandarin is Hard, Isn't it?

The Koreans might have celebrated National Korean Language day recently considering the fact that some of the shows that I watched all had games and topics revolving around the language. To people like us who rely on sub-titles to get through the shows, we were more than a little baffled.

Coincidentally, my son is trying to learn Mandarin, out of the blue. You know, I had so many #facepalm moments that my face is blue black. Both went to Chinese language kindergarten for years. One of them went to a Chinese school for a year until we both collapse in sheer frustration (because my mandarin is passable only when I am buying vegetables in the wet market). I sent them to private home tuition for Mandarin. Both attended special (extra payment, OK?) Mandarin classes in school. They know nothing beyond 1 - 10 in Mandarin after all of that and then when I give up, suddenly Mandarin language is appealing.

UGH.

Most people my generation speak at least 3 languages and understand at least 2 different Chinese dialects, right? How can I use this in-brain auto-translate method to teach my son Mandarin is beyond me.

Anyway, it was said that Korean is the most logical language in the world. Per chance, I saved something that justified the difficulty in learning Mandarin.

Chinese is hard.


Kudos to this poet who came up with something with just the word 'shi'. My kid said if he said 'shi' enough times, he could be possibly be forming a proper sentence. LOL.

I don't know. I just don't.

Happy Wednesday night,
About to doze off,
XOXO,
Marsha

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Semicolon - My Story Isn't Over Yet

Some hide it, some shut up about it and some choose to say something about it and is shunned back into silence. This is what sexual assault does to people and some people survive, others don't. And no one is so alone in this world that they have no one to turn to. Tara Stiles also opened up about her experience with sexual assault which spiraled into an eating disorder and social isolation. Things can happen that way. Some go into depression and it is a very real thing.

When I was an entertainer, being 'assaulted' by drunk people was quite the common thing. Even the guys got groped whenever we were required to mingle with the customers. So, we would laugh over it and say nothing else. But why is it OK, when I think about it later? Because if I said it bothered me and the other girls and guys said nothing, it would make me the bad apple, wouldn't it? So, I kept quite and became a little extra vigilant just to keep everyone liked.

I come from a family of people who deal with mental disorder and depression, hence, when I saw the semicolon movement, I was moved enough to nearlyyyyyyyyyyyyy get one myself! Me? Tattoo?! Hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha

Just like how the semicolon indicates that a sentence is not over yet, the semicolon movement was started in support of mental health awareness. It signifies that despite having gone through very tough times, the story is not over. YOUR story is not over yet. It can change.

Here's a bunch of pictures of really brave people who got their tattoos and I have to admit, some of them are really pretty and creative!

Source : Google Images

So, when I was scrolling through my Instagram one day, I saw Ashley Jewelry selling semicolon bracelets and I couldn't resist supporting it. So, I got this online and it arrived today. 


Pretty, isn't it?
Love,
Marsha


p.s. No, this is not an ad, I don't do ads and if I do, I will tell you in a huge ass way

Sunday, October 2, 2016

A Unique Butter Chicken with a Western Twist

We know our usual butter chicken (Chinese-style) and we love it. There's nothing like the butter and curry leaves combination that makes you salivate but when I looked at the list of ingredients in this recipe, I went like...wha...tomato paste, cream, almonds and cilantro? Well....never thought about that!

Well, if you are feeling a little adventurous or have some time on your hands, you might want to try your hand in recreating this Butter Chicken recipe featured in New York Times.


Happy Sunday,
Love,
Marsha

Monday, September 26, 2016

60 Seconds to Melt your Stress Away

Admit it, we all get worked up about things. It could be that fella who took your parking spot, the woman who won't stop complaining about you or maybe it's just the bank that keeps calling you about a new loan they want you to take advantage of. pppfftt...I know.

Anyway, we all have moments we wish would just go away and disappear. I found this neat little tool on the internet and it is so simple, you will smile in the end. Promise.

Feel stressed? Take a 60 second break right now.


XOXO,
Marsha

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Picking Up The Pieces of an Old 27 Year Old Self

My life stopped at the age of 26...when I had my first child and I am not saying this in a negative way. It stopped revolving around me, my passion, my interest, my friends, my original family, my life. It started revolving around those tiny people in diapers and I mapped my life around them. Nothing else mattered.

It has been a long time since my decisions are based on myself.

And I have come to a phase in my life whereby I am handed back the reign, one string at the time, to let go of that revolving Universe.

OK, fine. Enough drama. My kids are growing up.

I have spent the last few days bring thrown into a world of unknown parenting. They went into a deep, dark jungle and riverside (near Hulu Langat, that's all I know. I asked for GPS location, actually but was ignored so, I spent the entire night breathing into a plastic bag till around 2.45am in the morning, not kidding) where there's no electricity without me. They went to malls without me. They went to a pool party without me. I am trying to loosen my iron grip and stop thinking that I control everything. I am not in control of any effing thing right now except for the food and drinks that they eat. Even then, that's questionable. lol

I know I have an iron grip, it's a good and bad thing but as I said earlier, my life stopped at the age of 26 and that's been a long time since I have been in complete control of almost every situation involving these people. It's not easy to let go. I tell myself people send their kids to boarding schools and military for, crissakes, Marsha, get it together!!!!!

I try. I need caffeine and medication. And some wine. lol

So, if your kid is still being potty trained or is really small right now and you think you have his or her life mapped out, you are in for a ride, my friend.

Me? I have to start thinking the thoughts that I had when I was 26 so that I can start picking up the pieces from where I left off at 27.

Heavily medicated mom,
Love,
Marsha

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Why Didn't #Nomakeup Trend Much Earlier

It could be my years of having to put on makeup on stage, it could be my rebellious streak, it could be that I am sick of conformity. But I have stopped wearing (too much) make-up for years and I have no idea why Alicia Keys' move to go #nomakeup is such a thing these days.

Until this mother made a comparison between what's on a Girls Magazine and a Guys Magazine popped up in my timeline. She put the magazines together, side by side, and asked the Editors, do you see what is wrong and what are we teaching girls these days?! If you don't want to read the link, basically, the Girls Magazine headlines are stuff like 'how to have the hair that you can only dream of', 'Fall fashion you'll love', 'My first kiss', 'Wake up pretty', etc. On the Guys' Magazine, it says just one thing (that I can see) and it's 'EXPLORE YOUR FUTURE'.

There's a big, huge ass difference, isn't there?

While the trend of going make-up-free is growing, I don't understand why it wasn't growing before this. Or am I too early for this world? If you love working with make-up, I am completely fine with that because I have seen some awesome transformations on Youtube and really, kudos to those artists because it is an art and it takes talent and loads of practice to do that.

What I am talking about is how we imprison ourselves when we become slaves to make-up. My mom would often tell me in her befuddled tone that I should AT LEAST put on some lipstick because I look haggard. Maybe I do but in my mind, I am going 'and I don't give a rat's ass what people think I look like because I am comfortable with this right now'. My mom is a fashionista, actually, and if she was given another chance to choose a career for herself, I suspect she would be either an interior decorator or a fashion designer, she just loves stuff like that.

Sorry, mom. Not me. Lol. #disappointment

Yes, I have potholes on my face because I had chicken pox at the age of 32 and it was BADDDDDDDDDDDD!

Yes, I have wrinkles because....well...what can I say? lol

Yes, I have uneven skin tone because....hello? DNA much?

Yes, I have bags under my eyes because last night's sleep was pppffftttthhhhh...

Yes, my skin is oily because I was sweating when I was cooking in the kitchen a moment ago.

I feel like if I have to hide all that, I am putting unnecessary pressure on myself for the benefit of people who don't know me and people who are probably going to go home not knowing any more about me than before.

So why?

If they think I am haggard or lazy, fine. Good for you. Bye. Have a good life. Someone who loves me will see everything that I have on me and love me just fine and that's all the pressure I need. Sometimes I have eyeliner on, sometimes I have some blusher on, sometimes I use loose powder but the point is that I don't feel any less me when I go out without.

While I do not encourage people to go make-up free to official events and red carpets (Alicia Keys' got the balls to do this, I have to say this), my point is this...love yourself, potholes, wrinkles, pimples and all. If you feel like wearing make-up, wear it. If you don't feel like wearing make-up, don't wear it. Don't let others dictate how you feel about yourself.

For people who are going to fight back with how 'first impression counts', I am going to counter with these. How about a firm handshake? A confident stance? A brilliant smile? An alert outlook? How about an intelligent conversation? Positive body language?

Your husband's going to leave you when he sees you like this? Damn, what a man.

Your colleagues will think that you are not capable of leading a team? Show 'em, girl!!! Take back your personal power!

Your relatives are going to think you are letting yourself go? Yeah? How's that going to change my life? lol

No man's going to like you or date you? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Yes, not everyone looks like Alicia Keys and it takes courage and a little bit of getting used to and dignity to hold your head up high when people say that you should visit the doctor cause you look pale and sick and when you do, you will feel the freedom to choose and not to be enslaved by people's comments and thoughts.

The freedom to say I don't care.

#nomakeup
Love,
Marsha

Credit : Colored Beauty by iStock