60 Seconds to Melt your Stress Away

Admit it, we all get worked up about things. It could be that fella who took your parking spot, the woman who won't stop complaining about you or maybe it's just the bank that keeps calling you about a new loan they want you to take advantage of. pppfftt...I know.

Anyway, we all have moments we wish would just go away and disappear. I found this neat little tool on the internet and it is so simple, you will smile in the end. Promise.

Feel stressed? Take a 60 second break right now.

XOXO,
Marsha

Picking Up The Pieces of an Old 27 Year Old Self

My life stopped at the age of 26...when I had my first child and I am not saying this in a negative way. It stopped revolving around me, my passion, my interest, my friends, my original family, my life. It started revolving around those tiny people in diapers and I mapped my life around them. Nothing else mattered.

It has been a long time since my decisions are based on myself.

And I have come to a phase in my life whereby I am handed back the reign, one string at the time, to let go of that revolving Universe.

OK, fine. Enough drama. My kids are growing up.

I have spent the last few days bring thrown into a world of unknown parenting. They went into a deep, dark jungle and riverside (near Hulu Langat, that's all I know. I asked for GPS location, actually but was ignored so, I spent the entire night breathing into a plastic bag till around 2.45am in the morning, not kidding) where there's no electricity without me. They went to malls without me. They went to a pool party without me. I am trying to loosen my iron grip and stop thinking that I control everything. I am not in control of any effing thing right now except for the food and drinks that they eat. Even then, that's questionable. lol

I know I have an iron grip, it's a good and bad thing but as I said earlier, my life stopped at the age of 26 and that's been a long time since I have been in complete control of almost every situation involving these people. It's not easy to let go. I tell myself people send their kids to boarding schools and military for, crissakes, Marsha, get it together!!!!!

I try. I need caffeine and medication. And some wine. lol

So, if your kid is still being potty trained or is really small right now and you think you have his or her life mapped out, you are in for a ride, my friend.

Me? I have to start thinking the thoughts that I had when I was 26 so that I can start picking up the pieces from where I left off at 27.

Heavily medicated mom,
Love,
Marsha

Why Didn't #Nomakeup Trend Much Earlier

It could be my years of having to put on makeup on stage, it could be my rebellious streak, it could be that I am sick of conformity. But I have stopped wearing (too much) make-up for years and I have no idea why Alicia Keys' move to go #nomakeup is such a thing these days.

Until this mother made a comparison between what's on a Girls Magazine and a Guys Magazine popped up in my timeline. She put the magazines together, side by side, and asked the Editors, do you see what is wrong and what are we teaching girls these days?! If you don't want to read the link, basically, the Girls Magazine headlines are stuff like 'how to have the hair that you can only dream of', 'Fall fashion you'll love', 'My first kiss', 'Wake up pretty', etc. On the Guys' Magazine, it says just one thing (that I can see) and it's 'EXPLORE YOUR FUTURE'.

There's a big, huge ass difference, isn't there?

While the trend of going make-up-free is growing, I don't understand why it wasn't growing before this. Or am I too early for this world? If you love working with make-up, I am completely fine with that because I have seen some awesome transformations on Youtube and really, kudos to those artists because it is an art and it takes talent and loads of practice to do that.

What I am talking about is how we imprison ourselves when we become slaves to make-up. My mom would often tell me in her befuddled tone that I should AT LEAST put on some lipstick because I look haggard. Maybe I do but in my mind, I am going 'and I don't give a rat's ass what people think I look like because I am comfortable with this right now'. My mom is a fashionista, actually, and if she was given another chance to choose a career for herself, I suspect she would be either an interior decorator or a fashion designer, she just loves stuff like that.

Sorry, mom. Not me. Lol. #disappointment

Yes, I have potholes on my face because I had chicken pox at the age of 32 and it was BADDDDDDDDDDDD!

Yes, I have wrinkles because....well...what can I say? lol

Yes, I have uneven skin tone because....hello? DNA much?

Yes, I have bags under my eyes because last night's sleep was pppffftttthhhhh...

Yes, my skin is oily because I was sweating when I was cooking in the kitchen a moment ago.

I feel like if I have to hide all that, I am putting unnecessary pressure on myself for the benefit of people who don't know me and people who are probably going to go home not knowing any more about me than before.

So why?

If they think I am haggard or lazy, fine. Good for you. Bye. Have a good life. Someone who loves me will see everything that I have on me and love me just fine and that's all the pressure I need. Sometimes I have eyeliner on, sometimes I have some blusher on, sometimes I use loose powder but the point is that I don't feel any less me when I go out without.

While I do not encourage people to go make-up free to official events and red carpets (Alicia Keys' got the balls to do this, I have to say this), my point is this...love yourself, potholes, wrinkles, pimples and all. If you feel like wearing make-up, wear it. If you don't feel like wearing make-up, don't wear it. Don't let others dictate how you feel about yourself.

For people who are going to fight back with how 'first impression counts', I am going to counter with these. How about a firm handshake? A confident stance? A brilliant smile? An alert outlook? How about an intelligent conversation? Positive body language?

Your husband's going to leave you when he sees you like this? Damn, what a man.

Your colleagues will think that you are not capable of leading a team? Show 'em, girl!!! Take back your personal power!

Your relatives are going to think you are letting yourself go? Yeah? How's that going to change my life? lol

No man's going to like you or date you? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Yes, not everyone looks like Alicia Keys and it takes courage and a little bit of getting used to and dignity to hold your head up high when people say that you should visit the doctor cause you look pale and sick and when you do, you will feel the freedom to choose and not to be enslaved by people's comments and thoughts.

The freedom to say I don't care.

#nomakeup
Love,
Marsha

Credit : Colored Beauty by iStock

You Won't Regret Not Having Kids

I found my friend posting on Facebook and thought it was hilarious. Hilarious in a way that it-is-so-true-that-it-hurts-and-yet-I-know-where-you-are-coming-from-because-I have-been-there-I-shouldn't-find-it-funny kind of hilarious.

Motherhood is a major thing. MAJOR THING. THIS MAJOR!

You don't get to say 'I quit' in the middle of it all (people who do should grow a conscience or invest in contraceptive, please). When your kid does what the kid in the picture does, you will be judged. You have to find it in yourself to keep your dignity, breathe in, breathe out, breathe some more until the redness in your face, neck and ears go somewhat away.

But it's true. Parenting is not for everyone. And it's not a compulsory thing to do so, I think it's alright to have a kid cat or two and be OK with it.

When I was younger, I've always wondered why it was that this couple I knew from a long time ago never had kids. I thought they had problems but then it was one day revealed to me (through their conversation, not my question - how dare I ask this question!) that they never wanted kids. Not even adopted ones! And why.

They loved to travel and explore the world. And that's what they are doing now, exploring the world, buying a home in a mountain where there are bears in Salt Lake City without having to worry about wild animals eating their children up when they trek along nearby parks and trails. Never having to worry about homework or soiled diapers, milk powders, potty training, kids watching porn, raising a monster citizen and tuition.

They simply do not want kids. At first, some people may view that as 'selfish' but I think it's called 'having a direction in life'.

It's their direction and they deserve to grow in THAT direction if they wished to.

It's great that parents gets all the free hugs, kisses and eternal love (if you're lucky enough) from their kids but sometimes, that's not what people want in their lives. And that's OK. You won't regret it if you're sure of it.

TGIF,
Marsha

A Lazy Merdeka Day Update

Today is Malaysia's Independence Day and....not even feeling a thing except that the malls are very packed. Even smaller scale neighborhood malls are packed to the brim. And it wasn't even lunch time, it was kinda Tunch (tea-lunch) time and yet it was still packed.

It's a holiday, shall go to mall. That's a Malaysian culture, really.

Anyway, it's been some time Facebook introduced the 'like', 'haha', 'sad', 'wow' and 'angry' buttons and I have made an effort to use those instead of the conventional 'thumbs up' just because it is there and I want to see what difference it would make to the post and the things that Facebook decides to show me on its own accord.

Nothing much has changed, actually. Still seeing the same thing from the same people until I have to go to the 'Most Recent' feed instead of the normal 'News Feed'. So, I think this needs to be done. New buttons. Here are some which I think are fantastic suggestions. LOL

Kidding (sometimes not kidding but still kidding and half not kidding).

Happy Merdeka Day, people of the Universe...I mean, Malaysia!
Lazily,
Marsha

WWW is Flying!

It's Saturday, my favorite day of the week and I am not going to spoil it by talking about politics or the current state of affairs. It's a load of bollocks, that's all I can say. So, I am going to share something positive I saw on a friend's Facebook timeline instead.

The Internet is flying!



If this was possible, can you imagine the future of the Internet?

Happy Saturday! (and the rest of the weekend, of course)

Awesomeness,
XOXO,
Marsha

Boys that Don't Run Away

I am missing the days when my kids don't run away from me the very moment I have a camera (smartphone, especially) in my hands. Those days, as you can see, they even entertain me with funny faces. 

I have always tried to warn my friends who keep posting their children's pictures on Facebook that one day, maybe just boys, they don't want their pictures all over the Internet. They have less of a reaction when I am using my not-connected-to-the-internet snap-and-go camera, knowing that chances of it ending up on Facebook is far less as compared to when I am using my smartphone.

But cameras don't have filters, my sons. T.T e.g. like the picture above. No filter and look like shit. hahaha

I love taking pictures because it's a keepsake of memories like this that I will one day want to look back on. A reminder of how far I have come as a mother and our relationship.

I have assured them that whatever I capture that ends up on Facebook, I will not tag them. Especially taken with the tiny compact offline camera of mine.

So, selfie away and don't let other people judge you or call you narcissistic. It is not. It is a way to keep memories together, one picture at a time.

Love,
Snap away, folks,
Marsha

A Gloomy, Wet Saturday's Update

You'll never know how difficult it is, the worrisome days that a parent encounters, until you become a parent. So, I found this pretty little shoe sitting on the wet road worth capturing. Some parent is probably going to spend a few hours looking around car, home and bags for this missing shoe, wondering where they could have possibly missed it.

Well, it is missing.

And they will have no freaking idea what went on. Been there, done that, not doing it again, good luck! lol

That's parenting. That's why we should not judge parents, no matter how many things you disagree with them. They feed organic? Fine. They feed formula milk? The stuff their kids with KFC? Hey, they're eating and that's great! Whatever floats your boat, we are trying not to eff up along the way.

But on a more somber note, whatever has taken over the world, bombing after bombing, murders after murders, it's just sad or maybe it's just us, this generation, that we are more in tune with what's in the news. Maybe these things happened just as normally in the 50s and 60s but our parents had the 'option' of focusing on what's in front of them and not EVERYWHERE around the world.

I don't know anymore but would like to extend my heartfelt condolences to the people affected by all the senseless things happening to them for no apparent reason.

Hate does not solve hate. Only love will.

So, sprinkle and spread it everywhere you can.

XOXO,
Marsha

Haters Gonna Hate - Old vs. New Internet, Same or Different?

Remember the time we used to blog in complete peace? How not every single person, dog, kid or guitar have an internet account? Remember Multiply, the site before Facebook? Oh my, how I long for those days.

Bloggers and writers are met with hate once in a while, the same way your words can heal or positively impact someone on the internet, it can also bring on the wrath of 'insulted' people...especially these days. Not to say that it didn't exist back then because it did.

I remember someone told me to 'stick to writing, your singing sucks and don't deny it because it is THE TRUTH' on Multiply when I tried to record my singing on sucky equipment (rewind 20 years before smartphone apps) and brazenly 'showcased' it to my 'friends' on the internet. I argued that it was not THE TRUTH because it was merely his OPINION (and he's entitled to it) not because I am the best singer in the entire Universe but I have been told that I don't croak. In fact, my voice's been used for stage projects where my body was rejected (My body was rejected because I auditioned for the role of Thumbelina with my 5'7" lanky body - why the heck did I even do it? Anyway, my voice was used instead and I took my 5'7" body back home to complain to my parents about how come I am not 5'3" - kidding) and I was accepted into bands. So, I argued.

And then there was a time when people liberally imposed their personal problems, after hunting me down, on comments sections with racially-laced tones...like, OMG, that really got me fuming mad...well, won't you?

Before this whole shipping phenomenon (no, it no longer just means sending something via courier because you bought something on the internet, folks - click on the Wiki link above to find out more and don't blame me if you end up shaking your head) became the norm and the source of fights and fanfics, I was also taught a lesson about liking couples together and misconstruing signals sent by actors, actresses and singers that we see in dramas. Online. Via the great ole Internet. Comments section burned....Oh God...lol

As long as you are producing something on the Internet, we must be ready for hate. If it was THAT bad back then, imagine what it can be like today! Heck, you don't have to imagine, just hit any single POSITIVE Youtube video and just go to the comments section - no matter how positive or funny the content is, there's going to be someone who is insulted.

Writer, Abheek Talukdar wrote something completely funny about being prepared to be misunderstood if you are going to be writing on the Internet but he wrote it using Medium.com so, we can't access it (er....there are ways to read it) because Malaysia banned Medium.com (stupid) due to it being a platform for political sabotage (lol, they banned the entire site because of one user - ahem, Sarawak Report, I am looking at you). I am linking it anyway, just in case you CAN access the site and is looking for something you can relate to as a writer or content provider on the WWW.

Free press, FTW. And if you've been writing or blogging as long as I have and continue to do so today, high five!

Happy Saturday, people of the World,
Marsha

Image Credit : iStockPhoto Facepalm picture

People are People So...

Reading the news and social media accounts (I try not to but I have friends that I sometimes check on and groups that I participate in online) has been a pain in the ass these few weeks. In fact, today, police confirmed that my school friend's night spot, MOVIDA, was bombed with a hand grenade by extremist groups. It was speculated before but only confirmed today.

We long for better news.

One of my friends correctly pointed out that whenever these groups bomb their own people, no one makes a hashtag. No one posts up the country's flag as their profile pictures. No monument and iconic landmark is meaningfully lit.

It sickens me to think that the reason could be as simple as....it's nothing new.

We need to remember that the people affected by things like the Baghdad bombings are significant too. Even in Malaysia, which is a Muslim country, I don't think people are quite as caught off-guard despite the fact that Malaysia has been one of the most peaceful Muslim countries in the world. Not the most well-off or politically-stable one but relatively peaceful.

But we ARE caught off-guard. For decades, we have nothing but peace because:-

1. The previous generation accepted their fate
2. Non-Muslims are famously-known for their deep-rooted plans to get outta here
3. Muslims and non-Muslims generally share a camaraderie with each other
4. We have great food...the best, I would contend (Singapore and Indonesia, let's leave it at that. We will argue about this another day. lol)

It's just sad that the world is seeing so much violence today. People have pets at home, kids in school, bills to pay, food to prepare, a home to clean, relatives to love....just like everyone else all around the world...including those in Muslim countries who are fighting their own people.

At what level are we now, World?

Let's spare a thought or a prayer for those affected. 

Love,

Marsha