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Thoughts: Discoveries of the Deep Sea

Victor Vescovo is a millionaire undersea explorer that I’ve only recently heard of. The Dallas-born native has stakes in Insight Equity Holidaysafter snagging a bachelor degree in Economics and Political Science fromStanford University, one of the leading educational institutions in the United States of America which was followed by a master’s degree in Defense and Arms Control Studies fromMIT, and then an MBA fromHarvard. This is a learned man. Or at the very least, a very curious, ambitious, and scholarly kind of man. Or just very rich. The story was written and published on Medium, which is not free for everyone. Accordingly, however, if you're still interested in reading this, this link should give you free access to it!
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Your Superpower

Gratefulness and thankfulness is a work in progress in everyone's life. I try to do it everyday, to be thankful that I am given another chance to do what I am doing today. 
But there was a time that I tried really hard to be thankful for the roof over my head. 
Despite being in a dire situation, I kept telling myself to be thankful, be grateful, don't be a brat, and enjoy it. It took some months after that for me to admit to myself the fact that it was a particularly rubbish part of my life. 
Every single day was a struggle. I tried to keep things real without losing the positive outlook that I usually look for. That glimmer, even if it is a tiny glisten off in the distance, that might keep me hanging onto the rope. 
But I've come to realize that it is just as important to realize that we're struggling and be thankful when we come out of it alive.  "I am thankful for my struggle because without it, I would not have stumbled upon my strength"
Much of our live…

Update: Grateful for the Continued Journey into the Great Unknown

As the journey starts taking us into forked roads unknown, I find myself being more and more thankful at the end of every day. No, this is not some Zen-woo-woo or philosophical fanfic.

It's a feeling that sweeps over me at the end of every day as I sit on the balcony looking out at the evening sky and the encapsulating horizon wondering how I/We have made it through and isn't it amazing that we're still here.

I sometimes think that if we employ the curiosity of a 3-year-old kid who is not afraid of that dastardly pot of boiling hot water, we could be living a more entertaining and fulfilling life.

It might have a tad to do with the shocking deaths that have been occurring over the last few years, come to think about it because the heart-stopping moments have forced me to face death and see it for what it is.

People say it all the time that we will all die, one way or the other. Even when you don't know when it's going to happen, you just prefer not to think about it…

Life: Breath is Best

People who know me knows that there are not a lot of things I would complain about...well, maybe a few whines here and there but nothing serious....but if there's one thing I would really, really take issue with, it would be having to sit in traffic.

Put me behind the wheel in a gridlock and it turns me from the most patient Saint (not that I am) into a road rage monster. #lol The polarity is startling even to me.

And I don't know why.

There's the feeling of being trapped, of not being able to do anything about it (I've considered dumping the car and walking the rest of the way but...LOL..,the rationale side of me won, thankfully), of feeling like I have better use for my time, feeling like the rest of the world is made up of aszh@le drivers who make no bones about cutting into the lane that I've been sitting in for the past 45 minutes, of having to pay expensive Malaysian tolls that are SENSELESS, of bottlenecks, of rain-clogged roads...I can go on.

Hence, if I h…

Update: Moving On is a Feat

Slowly moving on is quite a feat. 
I think I am suffering from a late onset of separation anxiety. I miss home-cooked food. I miss calling out my kids' names and screaming them out on the third try only to hear their exasperated replies a little later. I miss picking up a book out of nowhere and reading it to get my mind off work. I miss the small 20-minute breaks. I miss meditating in my room. I miss working around in the small little kitchen I now call home. I miss hugging my boys whenever I want. 
Also, I have to get used to blogging and writing from my phone for now. In time, I'll explain what is going on in my life but for now, let's just say things are changing and I am trying my utmost best to get used to it. 
But I am trying and that's all the Universe can ask from me, right?
For lack of a proper update, here's something I would like to share with anyone who even reads anything I write. #lol

Sending lots of love your way, Marsha

Motherhood: Just a Mom is Enough

Sometimes I feel like shit. Sometimes I say "I'm sorry for being your mom" for no apparent reason other than a wave of guilt just swept over me when a disdainful memory hit me in the chest and I feel like crying over a touching Petronas commercial or a Kdrama.

Being mom is a tough job and I don't think I did enough to let my parents know I NOW know what it feels like.

Being a single mom also means that I am fairly attached to my kids and they'll forever be my babies. I know it's unhealthy attachment but spare me that for now.

I want them under my wing all the time and yet, when they encounter a seemingly insurmountable problem, I want them to get the hell out from under my angel wings and let me fly.

And then...cue...wave of guilt and an out-of-the-blue apology.

I see the mess in the kitchen, the pile of cups, the crumbs on the floor, the never-to-be-worn-again clothing in a corner of the room, the boxes I never unpacked, the stained sofa, the broken doorknob…

Update: Thanks for the Everyday Reminder

September 22, 2019 would have been Yoa Shoak Ann's birthday but she's no longer here to celebrate the day with us...but this doesn't mean we can't celebrate it for her.

I ate an extra cheesecake and Inside Scoop ice-cream on her behalf.

I told myself that I will post one picture of her for her every birthday so, here's one taken one million years ago. That's how long it feels like.

Everyday, she serves me a reminder that life is too short. You don't know what is rushing toward you at lightning speed...whether you like it or not, good or bad. Her departure reminds me every single day not to expect anything because no crystal ball can tell you what the future holds. 
And I continue to believe that everything happens for a reason and sometimes, for no abso-effing-lutely reason. There are things you can fight and there are things you can't. 
For whatever it's worth, you've changed my life. 
Thanks for the everyday reminder. I will continue to eat e…

Book: Room the Movie (2015) Review

It has happened before - me trying to get past the first chapter of a similar book, shudder my way through each and every sentence, dropping the book, picking it up and soldiering on (because I paid for the damn book), but then dropping it for real, promising to give it away to the next person who is into such somber depressing genres.

Well, Room the book was such a book.

The setting is the kind of horrifying kidnapping, sex-slave situation that we all dread to hear about in the news. Young girl on her way home/work/friend's place/school who is kidnapped and kept enslaved for years on end.

The good thing about Room the book was that it was written in Jack's, the little boy of 5, voice. Emma Donoghue managed to keep readers away (we can assume the usual horrifying things that happens in such situations) from what happens when he's not privy to it. The rape, beatings, capture, depression, sense of hopelessness, and the dying of the soul as Joy spends seven years in captivity…

Update: Radius Expansion, Food and a Memorable Cup of Coffee

I can't say life's been smashing because there have been upheavals here and there, just like everyone else's lives, but I would say one thing – we, my kids and I, are finally facing an inevitable crossroad. Funnily enough, all of us are facing crossroads all at the same time.

They don't come one at a time, do they?

Whether it's a job, finishing school, or entering college, we're all facing some really important decision-making in our lives. Although I've never complained much about being the only parent to have to make these decisions, it gets tough.

I can't carry my kids on my back forever and they're slowly growing their own wings so, sooner or later, I would have to let them go on their own journeys. It sucks. But life is full of uncertainties and every step you take, whether it's impulsive or calculated, would have to be measured later on in hindsight.

That's the way life is.

But here's a roundup of stuff that.
Outside of my 3km radi…

Update: Hectic and Slowing Down

Ever since my built-in stove broke, I've been relying on my infra-red cooker, 2 air-fryers, electric pressure cooker, rice cooker, and ANOTHER rice cooker to make meals at home.

I also have some sort of a phobia about stove know...flammable gas. So, even if there was the slightest smell of gas in the air, it sends me into a panic. But you know what? Someone said something to me one fine day and I totally agreed.

"Nothing beats something made over a fire on a good ole stove".

So, despite not knowing the nuts and bolts of anything to do with stove (did you know they sell stoves without the damn pipe and stuff...whatever you call that that attaches to the gas tank? Like OMG...why?), I went ahead and bought one.

With my innocent face, I asked for all the help I can get from the staff to make sure that when I finally lug the thing home, all I need to do is to place the damn cap on and twist whatever needs to be twisted.

And I expect no gas to leak from anywhere and …