You know how surprised I was when I saw this? I was trying to get up in bed when suddenly, this pain reverberated throughout my left forearm. I was like WTF was that?
Turns out, it was this.
I have no idea how I got this because we've been super busy, getting all physical, challenging my daily idle lifestyle to the max. You know how it is when you're ready for a match, marathon, giving birth, or getting on a flight for a trip overseas?
The adrenaline and fighting spirit in your body can really take over. I am thinking that was what happened. I am prone to this kind of situations, ever since I was young. The moment I have to take to the stage or compete in a badminton match, or try to outswim someone, that's the kind of feeling.
Is it because I am already aging that I no longer listen to my body.
Someone who was helping me with all the physical stuff looked at the way I was both pushing things through AND things around, said to me "Aiyo...slow down, slow down. Things like these, sometimes it is better to use your brain not just brute force".
My reply was "I am a brute force kind of person. And I don't really complain. If and when I complain, it means I have not just reached my limit, but exceeded it". He, a mind-mannered, quiet man, told me that I may need to change a little. I just chuckled.
Maybe because I am a positive thinker which is often considered a good personality trait, I also tend to hide my pain and discomfort instead of telling others about it. These kind of people are called Pollyanna. These people, me included, are overly optimistic and sometimes in denial.
Without knowing the true meaning behind it or label assigned to us, I thought I was just trying to be Wonder Woman....in my case, I actually called myself WonderM. It is as stupid as when I called myself 'SexKitten' during the early ICQ days. Inviting trouble or challenging the norm? I don't know. I was just foolish.
Maybe you can call it an alter ego or just someone I imagine I want to or can be. I was, after all, raising two boys on my own. And it was a part-joke part-problem too because who on earth am I trying to fool. Nobody was paying me to play the part of a Super Hero.
So, the reality is this - we're not Super Heroes. That's Hollywood bullshit.
We're human and we should listen to our bodies, mind, and the people around us as and when we're pushing ourselves past our limits.
This bruise is not something I am showing off; it's something I want to use to remind everyone that there is a limit to what we can do. Pushing ahead like bloody bull is not always the answer. Hustle? Sure. But hustle smart. Use your brain, as advised by the contractors I hired to help me; but he saw me soldier on and then collapsing.
But I was raised in a family of people who were all FIGHTING, there was no way for me to think otherwise. Being weak is not an option. But look at what trying to be too strong can do to you.
You get injured for no reason because you think too highly of yourself. That's what happens when you set your goals too high or...maybe just disorganized but full of energy like me.
Difficult. That's what this entire week has been and yet, I've managed to talk to my boys about it...no one else will listen and no one is on my side either because...they are FIGHTING people. They'll just view me as weak and tell me that I should have done better.
F***, how much better am I supposed to do this??!!! I was losing faith in humanity once again until I met some kind and understanding people. I was able to restore my faith in the goodness in people; otherwise, I would have just given up on humanity.
So, this is the story of the bruise and my reaction to it. Till this very day, I have no idea how I got it.
Heh....
XOXO,
Marsha
Marsha
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