Skip to main content

Demanding a Balanced Lifestyle

We live in a world choked with demands….demand for more money, better lifestyle, more holidays, smarter kids, bigger house, posher cars….etc. People walk around with spiritually unimportant goals in their minds driven by the need to succeed and be better than others around them.

Hong Kong. South Korea. Japan. Most Asian countries suffer from this ill-fate which have caused a horrific rise in the number of suicide rates in the said countries. Malaysia is no exception as well although we’re very slowly gaining ground on our neighbors. Just picking up my son from school can become a stressful affair. I’ve mentioned this to a few friends of mine over the phone and all of them cluck their tongue shake their head. It’s end of the year and the kids are getting their test results back by now. I overheard a couple of tai-tais (housewives) gripe about their kids’ results.

Mom: I don’t know-lah. My kid did not do very well this term. The best also got 95 only. (NINETY FIVE ONLY???)

Mom2: Ya-lah. This year, the papers are all so difficult. My son is going to drop from Top 10 in the school for sure.

Mom: Last year, my son already top 30 students in school but now don’t know how!

Mom2: Have to find another tuition teacher to help my son get back into top 10 now. Damn headache, you know.

Kiasu-ism (afraid to lose/want the best/need to be the best mentality) is not exclusive to our near neighbor, Singapore. Malaysians have long made this the butt of their jokes but are Malaysians any better these days? Housewives are comparing their kids, pushing their children senseless toward a goal that should be left till they are older. Kids have every right to be kids. But I kept my gap shut and pray a silent prayer that their kids will grow up to be normal adults.

As you can see, we are turning into the kind of country we’ve joked about. Even working people are not doing any better themselves. Lots of people clock in before work hour starts and clocking out just in time for them to get ready for bed. They have no life beyond work which is very unhealthy….both physically and mentally.

Having goals is not a bad thing, don’t get me wrong but what we, the human race, have completely forgotten that money is nothing, education is nothing if we don’t live. With this kind of mentality, how happy do you think the kids will be and how much fun the adults are having?

If you’ve ever wondered what life is all about, my answer now is (I previously suffered from overwork and stress as well) to live. To live a happy, fulfilling and balanced lifestyle.

Is it any wonder why mental illness is fast becoming a norm in our region?

Labels:

Comments

Anonymous said…
I seem to hear these kinda statements coming out from mothers. Not Fathers.

MOthers somehow always LOVE to compare their kids with others.It's like a disease that's naturally found in mothers. They didnt ask for it...but they're like that! Not so for fathers.

When was the last time you hear a father say these? i for one have NEVER!

Why?

Killer
October 25, 2007 at 9:56 PM
Anonymous said…
sad but true, killer. it's because mothers are involved with the kids daily lives. the only people they meet are other mothers. nothing else to talk about but the kids. hence, the comparison thing.

i am way too busy to compare. eh, you'll never know....if fathers were in mother's position, maybe he'd end up comparing the kids as well leh?
October 25, 2007 at 10:09 PM
Jamie said…
this post hit the nail on the head kau kau. I for one am not the comparing type....my only and I mean ONLY instruction to my kids is to try their best..trying their best is good enuff for me.

I really cannot tolerate the pat pohs comments about their kids as well as the comparisions the make.
October 26, 2007 at 1:46 PM
Anonymous said…
i also tell my kids the same thing because why pressure them so much so young? I remember when we were young, not like that, rite? Maybe the world has changed and the competition is rife now but heck, this is too much lah. these pat-pors need to learn a skill and get a life.
October 26, 2007 at 2:26 PM
Anonymous said…
COming from a family with 5 boys and 1 girl...I am the youngest.

My Mum ALWAYS compare their children with their friend's kids. My Dad let us be. All he said was "do what you do best at and do your best".

My Mum said to me 3rd bro who;s a very good student one day: "Why your result so bad ha? YOu only got 2nd place in the whole class. Last term you #1! Mrs Ong's son got better result than you now! You not ashamed ah? You wanna kena from me izit? I cane you kau- kau ha if you dont get better result next term!"

Wah....now you know. So many mothers got some realy serious kiasu prob!

Marsha...glad your not like that!

Killer guy
October 27, 2007 at 1:46 AM
Anonymous said…
2nd place not good enough?????? I think my father happy until floating in the air liao lor if I get 2nd place!!!! it's true lah, some women talk to neighbors and then start comparing their own kids like hell.

this should stop as its very unhealthy for the kids, dont you think?
October 27, 2007 at 11:14 AM
Anonymous said…
The girl who got top 5 position was complaining to her mother that she didn't get top 3 (I overheard because we were waiting outside the class during school report card day. This was during BU school days). My girl? She got #40. But I was okay with it because she did better than last term. Then I found out almost all those who did extremely well had tuition. Mine hadn't, so I was very proud that she improved on her own.

Over here, I thought parents would be less kiasu but I was wrong! One Indian mother said she actually photocopies workbook activities so that her daughter could revise and do the exercises again over the weekend. Another complained that her boy doesn't bring home books for her to go over the work with him (school got place to keep the books so that the bag is lighter, and the mother wants the books to be returned every day! mad!!)

Me? I'm very relaxed. No homework mai no homework lor (here, her grade 3 doesn't have homework..). The school recommends no more than 1/2 hour of revision everyday because they want the kids to play. Exam time - tomorrow got what, today study.

My husband was top scholar in his state during his time. So he understood long time ago - listen and understand well in class, then exam time, don't need to cram. And he never had tuition too. He never pushes our girl. And we never compare. We don't even bother talking about school grades except with the grandparents who want to know.

My only hope is that our kids grow up self-confident and with a strong sense of responsibility.
October 30, 2007 at 2:53 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stargazer - Stretch Those Sides

I have been doing this pose, part of Cosmic Dance (a type of yoga, I am assuming), called Stargazer pose without knowing it is called Stargazer's pose a lot in the past. You see, sometimes, I don't follow the rules and come up with my own stretches and poses. It is fun. I have on some music, nice, soothing music or just anything I can click on. Then I go with the flow, letting my hair down. Just moving to the music...and that is when I come up with the above Stargazer's pose. This pose really stretches your sides. Keep your eyes on the outstretched hand if you are keeping it pointed to the top, as if you are waving or connecting to a higher energy from the Universe. Your arms will ache a little but hey, toned arms, here you come! :-) For those who want a bigger stretch, it is safe to slowly and gently move the lifted hand towards your back...don't overdo it, listen to your body's complaints and respect it. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, reme...
Post a Comment
Read more

Maid Side-Kick

I was kind of a little sad when I read the news about this - there will be no live-in Indonesian maids in Malaysia anymore . There are pros and cons to having a live-in maid, as with everything else, but for us, we enjoyed more pros than cons. Back then, when my kids were little, we brought in a family of maids to help with...well, just about everything, and we were like two families merged into one. They ate what we ate, we sleep, they sleep, we shop, they shop, they joke, we laugh, we joke, they laugh...for me, the maid I hired was more like a sister and side-kick to me. For that few years, I was dependent on her to mind-read my schedule and when I need or don't need help. She picked things up quickly and we ended up having lots of moments whereby we were in sync. Today, two of them are on my Facebook and we were gleefully chatting over Facebook Messenger since they've just discovered the wonders of the Internet and Social Media. Since we were more like partners in crim...
Post a Comment
Read more

Drunk People Cannot Make Comments on Blogs

OK, here's the thing with this image thing....you don't want people to design robots or programs or spiders or cockroaches or whatever to spam blogs and websites. I understand that. In fact, I am all for it. It's annoying to have spambots come in and post one liners like.... Can't get it up? Try this website. Top quality Viagra for low pricing. Value discount if bought inbulk. Or the most common ones would be.... Want a completely paid-for holiday with your family and coming home to a villa beside the sea before taking a spin in your luxury car. Then you have to read this! It's amazing! Within three weeks, you will get $32,000 in your account. Within a month, whether you like it or not, we'll bank in $65,498 into your bank account. Within six months, you're a f*%#@* royalty. I don't like that....and I assuming you don't like that either, right? If you have a popular blog, you get even worse stuff like hate mails, awful comments or people who ...
2 comments
Read more