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Why Women Say NOTHING

I don't know precisely when we learned to do this but this NOTHING syndrome is really peculiar. We, women, were....sorta born with it.

Anyway, the NOTHING word's been tagged on women for far too long and I feel that there is a need to explain. In a relationship, more often than not, women say NOTHING when asked if there was something wrong, they just want a little mollycoddling...coaxing, you know? We were kinda raised to expect that. Hey, ask a dad! Why does he coax his daughter and not his sons, huh?! See? Girls were not only born to like coaxing, they were trained. It is a bloody profession.

And if you knew how to do it, it is so simple to coax a woman, you will cry in disbelief at your own stupidity. A chocolate bar will do. One stupid flower will do. Heck, telling her that she looks exceptionally beautiful despite the zit on her forehead will do. It is so simple but why is it so hard? If you can afford it, please feel free to organize a half-hour fireworks complete with a banner printed with the words 'I love you, whateveryournameis forever' pulled loudly and romantically across the sky by a helicopter for her and the whole world to see.

THAT is all we are asking for, is that too much to ask?

Men, if you don't know how to do this right, try watching PRETTY WOMAN, JERRY MCGUIRE and also maybe a little bit of GHOST, DIRTY DANCING, NOTTING HILL, SERENDIPITY...the likes. Oh, ride the limo like a horse, a bunch of roses in hand...loudly asking Pretty Woman to marry him...sigh....

Oh. Where was I? Right.

On another note, if we have a problem with something that the men's done and we are feeling unhappy about it, we don't want things to blow out of proportion. Don't understand? Let's try this for size.

If we didn't like the fact that you were late, we say NOTHING because telling the truth would result in 'all you care about is you. This job is important to me, my boss is breathing down my neck and here you are, angry about something so trivial?' So, we say NOTHING.

If we told you the truth, it would open the floodgates to a whole barrage of accusations. If we hate your cologne, would it be alright for us to say it like it is? 'Your cologne stinks. Change it.' Ouch. So, we say NOTHING.

If we didn't like the way you laughed like a hyena (but loved all other traits about you), would it be alright if we said, 'You sound like an ass when you laugh. Stop laughing.'

There you go. Perfectly sound reasons for women to say NOTHING even though there is SOMETHING.

I mean, the whole problem will be solved if men detected that there was something wrong (which prompted them to ask if there was anything wrong in the first place) and proceeded to coax her or just bring her attention to something else despite her having said NOTHING. You know it is a bloody lie, she knows it is a bloody lie....can you see through it yet?

I know, I comes the are tired and all they want to do when they get home is to rest, relax, have a beer, and surf the TV channels. I know, I know...who has the time to play childish games with women, they should just toughen up or grow out of it.

And you still want to have sex tonight? O.o. for it, buddy.

So, NOTHING is a legitimate word, an excuse, an explanation, and a darn good cue for men to do SOMETHING.

Huff! Am I feeling alright?

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