The Me I Wish I Am Not. The ENFP

If I were to be completely honest, my mentality have not changed much from when I was 21 till now. I won't tell you my age but...in a couple of years, I can withdraw from my EPF. #lol

Does this kind of mentality work in this world? Is it too late for me to change my personality? Err...ugh...I think so. I am stuck now with this personality I am born with, then. WTF.

People and the MBTI Personality Test 

People are into the whole MBTI thing these days. It's a personality test called the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, a tool used to help people understand their own personalities, communication styles, abilities to communicate with others. Millions of people use it all around the world and there is said to be more than 4000 papers validating the theory. 

If you're interested in interpreting some of the results and reasoning, read this. The set of questions in the MBTI test were first published in 1943 in the U.S. by a mother-daughter team, Katharine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers. 

Most people who did or do the test took or take it with a grain of salt. 

For some reason, there's been an explosion in interest. For instance, when you're looking for a job, meeting someone for the first time, or a new friend says something out-of-line, they might ask you if you know what your MBTI is so that they can easily figure you out. It's all fine and dandy, really. 

As you can see, if you know something as simple as that, you can basically figure that person out and change the way you interact with him or her. 

Honestly, when I first took the test more than 10 years ago, I was an ENFP and everything it said about me felt like the test just dove into my soul. I was afraid. Basically, ENFPs are the kinds who just prefer to have their heads in the cloud and don't really like dealing with everyday inconveniences. 

We believe in the magic of dreams; the hope of opportunities; but in our own unique ways, we're also introspective. Sometimes, to a certain extent, other people's problems might become bigger than our own problems. We neglect ourselves and our own priorities are knotted like an army End-of-the-Line Bowline. 

Not only I am always listening to my heart and not my head, I seek out the best belief and outcome, realistic or not. My optimism and enthusiasm level is unmatched. Don't, please, don't even listen to me; just ask my boys. They've been the most baffled people all their lives, living with me. 

They once asked me, "I wonder where your optimism came from" even when we were in a dire situation. The answer is...I have no friggin' idea. 

via GIPHY

ENFPs Cannot Thrive in this World?

It's almost impossible for me to remain 100% the same person I was 20 to 30 years ago because I've seen so many people who would not hesitate to CRUSH ME despite me trying my best. The people-pleasing part of me just want to believe that everyone is inherently good. Let's be friends. 

Apparently, at my age, over-optimism equals impracticality, stupidity, and unreliability. Or simply just walk-overs. 

That's why it breaks my heart, There's really no way for me to survive in this world anymore. Everyone's for themselves, right? And now, ENFPs are the strongest people-pleasing people in the world. So, this means, every time I reach out and try to help people, I am going to be crushed in the iciest, most calculative, harshest, meanest, cold-hearted, and 'professional' way. 

So, there's no way for us to be human and kind to each other anymore? In this new world that we live in? What has changed, that I am so clueless about???

Why are people so cold? Why are we so disconnected? Why are we so mean? What happened between the time when I was a wide-eyed youngster and now? 

Working with People Who Valued Me for Being Me

I am going to say this outright. For slightly more than a decade, I've worked with people from all around the world. Most importantly, I worked with a Staten-Island-based company for more than a decade. It wasn't a walk in the park but it was enriching.

Why? It's simple. 

These were the words he has said to me. I cannot imagine anyone else saying it to me.

" You're USC family."

Despite feeling vulnerable, someone had my back. And that's what's important. Someone understood that I had the capability and was backing me up. 

The corporate world in Malaysia and Singapore is a completely different story. I was treated as societal trash and an economical liability. It's a completely different realm. I often felt like I was nothing more than a tool. An easily replaceable one. At the drop of a hat. 

People don't value commitment and talent. They think human connection is absolute weakness so, how am I supposed to deal with this? Where's the human element? In my personal opinion, we need to fix this. We need to break down some walls and barriers...and honestly, it's probably not going to happen during my lifetime. I don't have much time left. 

That's I think people with kind of personality and belief system will find it incredibly difficult to thrive in today's realistic, cutthroat, and heartless world. 

But I don't know...just food for thought.