I am relooking at my life like I've never had to before. I don't even know if this is a mid-life crisis but whatever that I have been through thus far have served critically to making me into a person that I am excited to meet.
I've gone from being absolutely shocked, dismayed, excited, elated, hopeful, destroyed, emotionally drained, disappointed, hopeful and wonderful again, and then have had my soul crushed within these few years.
I don't even really know where I am going anymore. I thought I knew.
Some people just power themselves up by making people feel horrible. They're just the way they are, and honestly speaking, my younger self would have done everything within my power to try to change these people. To believe that I have a pocketful of cheer dust to sprinkle over them to make them better.
But I am no longer young.
I know now that there's nothing I can do to change mean people. The only I can do is to understand that they are the way they are because of the path they've walked, the journey they've been on, and the people they've met.
I've not met them.
The good thing is that I've also met wonderful people who aligned with me. I will look at them and choose selectively who affects me and who does not. I learn from all of them, either way.
The truth is, life is not always good. But it's not all bad. If I look at it that way, it's easier to find balance, peace, and understanding.
On another note, despite the Covid-19 lockdown here in Malaysia (especially Selangor where I live which is a total Red Zone), my family and I have tried our best to connect and be there for each other. And I think we've had a better-than-expected Chinese New Year celebration this year!