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Wrong or Cold

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

I gave a man RM20 (USD4.80) yesterday during dinner and I still can't stop thinking about him. The look on his face, his hesitancy, his predicament, the look of loss. 

At the back of my mind, I keep hearing people (and myself) calling me stupid, naive, innocent, and hopeless. It happens every time I try to do something right, something good. I can hear voices in my head telling me that it is the dumbest thing I've done yet. 

It's not how much you give away and how stupid people think of me knowing that I gave money away, but it's how he said 'God bless you' at the end. It's the look of relief. It's the knowing of humanity exists, that human beings still have a side of them that is not riled up by uncertainty, fear, misjudgment, distrust, negativity. 

Knowing that another human being understands and trusts you is one of the most powerful emotions on earth. I believe this is what we, as a species, will yearn for the most going forth. Because we are so digitally connected, I feel that human connection must be restored. 

Yes, we live in a strange world today compared to 20 years ago. If it cannot be proven by Google or Facebook, it's not real or does not exist. As someone who works in the digital field, it's, perhaps, a little strange for me to say that I want to look at the softer side of things, even if I am going to be wrong. 

I would rather be wrong than to be cold. 


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