Skip to main content

I Am Not Goliath

My friend dropped by for lunch with me today and she said something that we can NOW laugh about...but was stressed out over when our kids were younger.

She said she saw a mother crossing the streets, bringing her elder kid to school, with a baby strapped to her body, looking hassled, with a messily put-together ponytail, non-matching hair clips, rushing to bring her kid to school. THAT reminded her of me when I was staying at that apartment, with the school just right outside the condo.

I did the same. Wore the same type of messed up clothing. Had paper clips in my hair. Hassled. Rushing lunch while thinking about dinner, worrying about homework, having to work at the same time and without a proper support system because we've just moved into the new home.

We can laugh about it now because that period of my life, the most stressful one, is over. We are halfway through this parenting thing and we survived. Some non-parent friends may have judged me about the way I have been parenting my kids and I don't blame them because they have not stood on the pavement beside the school with two kids in tow - one dragging his clikkety-clacketty roller bag behind him and the other complaining about the weather being too hot - trying not to cry.

Some people may think 'you should have a support system'...but I didn't. And I still don't.

Some people may think 'you should have gone out with your friends more'...but I didn't. But I do now.

Some people may think 'you are not alone, a lot of parents go through the same thing'....I know now, thank God and bless your heart for thinking that. Because at that point in time...it was also the most isolated and loneliest I have ever felt. There were buckets of tears that I didn't want anyone to see because I had to be strong. I had to hold it together because if I don't, the fort goes down.

Have I really come this far? How am I still frekking alive???!!! LOL

If you are going through the same thing and find yourself sometimes criticizing yourself, be proud of yourself. Be nice to you because everyone else is ready to put a shot through your heart because of your parenting style or the choices you've made or that you've brought this onto yourself.

Let yourself cry and not be alright all the time. Trust me on this. No one is THAT strong and it will drive you crazy trying to be.

Love,
Marsha


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Maid Side-Kick

I was kind of a little sad when I read the news about this - there will be no live-in Indonesian maids in Malaysia anymore.

There are pros and cons to having a live-in maid, as with everything else, but for us, we enjoyed more pros than cons. Back then, when my kids were little, we brought in a family of maids to help with...well, just about everything, and we were like two families merged into one. They ate what we ate, we sleep, they sleep, we shop, they shop, they joke, we laugh, we joke, they laugh...for me, the maid I hired was more like a sister and side-kick to me.

For that few years, I was dependent on her to mind-read my schedule and when I need or don't need help. She picked things up quickly and we ended up having lots of moments whereby we were in sync. Today, two of them are on my Facebook and we were gleefully chatting over Facebook Messenger since they've just discovered the wonders of the Internet and Social Media.

Since we were more like partners in crime, I f…

Grilled Salmon With Unagi Sauce

I always disagree with people who say that they are lazy to cook, it's too hard, no time, too difficult, easier to eat out....etc. I can't agree because I have found multiple ways to cook simple, cheap meals without causing too much of a ruckus to my schedule. All it takes is a little bit of planning ahead and research. And a sense of humor when it turns out...to put it nicely...sucks.

Anyway, here's one simple one that ANYONE (kids included) can cook up. Seriously simple and easy.


I love salmon but my kids don't like the smell and texture. But that doesn't mean that I can't go out to the market and spend RM11 on ONE single piece of salmon fish and make MYSELF one, right? Kids can have the overnight pizza. :-)
This is fresh from the market....man oh man! I LOVE IT!!
Wash it properly, de-bone the thing if you want to but I just left everything the way it is and just covered the fish with some of the following:-

Yup, salt, pepper and McCormick's season-all powder…

It's The Hormones Slinging All Over Ryan Gosling

Every time I do this, you know I'm PMS-ing. I am usually quite sane and well-behaved. I promise you this. But..... After watching The Notebook, I am fully convinced that Ryan Gosling is not a man. He's sex. Pure sex. And love, of course. I knew that.I love Ryan Gosling whether he looks like he just woke up on an island....ESPECIALLY when he's half-naked!!!!I love him even if he's kissing someone other than me (who he SHOULD be kissing)I love him even when he's got literally no hair.I love him eventhough without the beard thing, he looks like a schoolboy still growing out his pubic hair.I love Ryan Gosling to the core and then you tell me one other thing to make me fall in love with him even more! I feel signs of a mild heart attack already!He plays the piano. He sings. And he sings to KIDS for Halloween!I mean.....aawwwwww......how come we good women who are only sometimes a teeny weeny bit (and I mean really tiny bit) bitchy never get one of these? What?! We DO …