Skip to main content

Women Who Don't Want To Sign Up For Motherhood

When it comes to babies, everyone's expected to go 'awwwwww.....' so cute. Or with pets, I am sure people face the same type of expectation. If the expected response is not forthcoming, you are perceived as 'cold' or 'heartless' or 'inhumane'. How can people not awwwwwwww at kids and pets? They are cute as buttons, right? CUTER than buttons, by the way.

There is this perception that women are born to naturally have maternal instinct and want to have babies. I think this is so far from the truth that I caught myself laughing. Sure, if you tell people you don't want to have kids, they will say something along the lines of 'selfish', 'full of yourself' or just 'alien'. Everyone wants to have kids. Or once you have kids of your own, your whole world will change and your maternal instincts will emerge and consume you and make you not recognize yourself.

Well, the latter is kind of true. But not everyone wants to have their life change and their maternal instincts emerge and consume them. LOL.

When I was younger, there was a colleague of mine who hated children so much that she said that she would deskin little babies and deep fry them. I am not lying. I was so shell shocked that I remember it to this very day. She has a kid of her own now and it IS LIKE ALLLLLL OVER FACEBOOK and stuff.

Guess her world changed and her maternal instincts emerged and it consumed her. See? It could happen like that. LOL

I think everyone's a little different at different phases of their lives. I had my kids when I was 26 and everything after that point in my life revolved around keeping us alive and happy. And clothed and healthy and fed and going to school and not being beaten up by other kids and have money and not watch too much YouTube and having good friends and being disciplined and a wholeeeeeeeee bunch of other stuff.

People rarely have kids at 26 these days. More than 46. I was 20 years too early, frankly because my kids have outgrown me in height and growing mustaches while most of my friends are learning up on potty training. Sorry, friends. I have forgotten about potty training and I no longer want to recall them.

I am done. Outta there. Listen, if you worked yourself into a frenzy trying to get out of a dark maze, would you want to get back in there and reminisce about how dark and creepy it was in there? Exactly. LOL. Not that parenting was creepy but....there is no manual for that shit. It's scary that you are in charge of those cute-as-buttons lifelines and there are no f-g instructions.

The point is that parenting isn't a kind of deal that everyone SHOULD or HAVE TO sign up for. It is something we do because we want to have a family. It consumes your everything so, it is quite understandable that it isn't exactly the kind of life package people want to have on their bucket list.

Some people have kids and do a crappy job at it (like leave their kids in a car in the middle of a parking lot while they shop in the supermarket {fumbducks}and forget that they have kids with them...I don't even want to get there) that they SHOULD NOT have kids at all.

There are two more things that I want to say and I can log off.

  1. You don't have kids to keep the guy. This is not a TVB or SBS or KBS or ATV drama. You can't change a bad personality with your womb. Or what comes out from it. 
  2. Parenting isn't an experiment that you can abandon once you think 'ahhhh....this formula is not working'. It is not a science experiment. 
And that's it. It is raining here right now and what a nice change from the stuffy weather recently. I will leave you here with the video that prompted me to write this. 


p.s. I was a little miffed at a friend who loosely commented that I lived like a 'hermit' after having my kids like I didn't have to take care of my kids all the time, without help and needing to work at the same time after I said that I went off shopping with a friend the whole day. That....came from a very inexperienced human being. Good luck to his future children.

p.p.s I am, not saying that being a parent is a bad thing because my kids have enriched my life in so many ways that I don't have words to describe it. They have filled every single void in my life by just being here with/for me.

p.p.p.s Women should not be coerced or forced to WANT to have kids. Your womb, your life, your call.

p.p.p.p.s How come I said I had 2 more things to say before ending the post and I continue to have this many p.s's?


Popular posts from this blog

Maid Side-Kick

I was kind of a little sad when I read the news about this - there will be no live-in Indonesian maids in Malaysia anymore.

There are pros and cons to having a live-in maid, as with everything else, but for us, we enjoyed more pros than cons. Back then, when my kids were little, we brought in a family of maids to help with...well, just about everything, and we were like two families merged into one. They ate what we ate, we sleep, they sleep, we shop, they shop, they joke, we laugh, we joke, they laugh...for me, the maid I hired was more like a sister and side-kick to me.

For that few years, I was dependent on her to mind-read my schedule and when I need or don't need help. She picked things up quickly and we ended up having lots of moments whereby we were in sync. Today, two of them are on my Facebook and we were gleefully chatting over Facebook Messenger since they've just discovered the wonders of the Internet and Social Media.

Since we were more like partners in crime, I f…

HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS before you hit thirty

In terms of internet savviness, I think I am quite ‘there’ lah….a bit lah. Not a lot but a bit ‘there’, up there with some of some internet marketers out there but let’s face it, I’m not going to be swimming in cash yet unless I learn to do something extraordinary. REALLLLLYYYYY EXTRAORDINARY. But come to think of it, some of the biggest gazillionaires who made a whole lot of mullah from the Internet did not start out thinking it would make them millionaires. In fact, some of them did it for fun. Humor me, fun = lots of money. Let’s have lots of fun, then, instead of working our butts off for mediocre earnings, am I right? :-)That leaves me thinking…what can I do that is fun and can make me truckloads of money everyday? I want to hear the cash register going ka-ching, ka-ching every minute of the day and my sole responsibility is to have complete, unbashed fun. I took this list off somewhere, can’t remember where (trust me, I have all these things, ready to be blogged about, and I do…

Stargazer - Stretch Those Sides

I have been doing this pose, part of Cosmic Dance (a type of yoga, I am assuming), called Stargazer pose without knowing it is called Stargazer's pose a lot in the past. You see, sometimes, I don't follow the rules and come up with my own stretches and poses. It is fun.

I have on some music, nice, soothing music or just anything I can click on. Then I go with the flow, letting my hair down. Just moving to the music...and that is when I come up with the above Stargazer's pose.

This pose really stretches your sides. Keep your eyes on the outstretched hand if you are keeping it pointed to the top, as if you are waving or connecting to a higher energy from the Universe. Your arms will ache a little but hey, toned arms, here you come! :-)

For those who want a bigger stretch, it is safe to slowly and gently move the lifted hand towards your back...don't overdo it, listen to your body's complaints and respect it. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, remember th…