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So, it's more than a week since Bersih words to express my disappointment in how we were treated judging by the fact that we....well...I went there to make a point. All I wanted to say was 'Hey, let's level the playing field, shall we?' and 'Let's play fair'.

I would liken it to walking up to someone with authority and say that you wanted to be counted too.

What we got for doing that is a slap in the face.

I have gone through many stages after the event. Trauma. Fear. Disappointment. Sadness. And the feeling of being betrayed. Yes, betrayed. At this point, you can come up with several conclusion.

1. Give up. Let's migrate.
2. Angry and determined to see the end of whoever caused you pain.
3. Stay calm and slowly move forward.
4. Close your eyes. Pretend nothing happened.

This is the aftermath of an event that should have been calm and peaceful. We try to find a closure and move on because life involves many other things as well. A couple of days ago, I was at No. 2. I wanted to see blood. And before that, I felt No.1.

The same way you can't give up on your parent, I feel that it isn't right to give up on a country that you belong to although the country doesn't want to listen. We should keep shouting until we are heard. That is not to say that we should create chaos. I would never ever ever dream of creating chaos until chaos confronted me.  I am a highly defensive person, not aggressive.

And that is what I am doing. Defending myself, my children, my dignity and my place here, in Malaysia.

What is wrong with that, I don't know.


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