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My Dear Neighbor's Son

Almost every night, there is this loud  wailing right outside my house. The commotion caused by my neighbor's three year old son.

You see, it is daddy's idea of punishing his son for don't know what reason and it goes on for a few minutes every time. The first time I witnessed this, my kids were so utterly sympathetic for the poor boy. He was crying his lungs out....his gut juice literally spilling out from his eye balls. My kids went out to check on him every two seconds.

I am in no position to offer advice about his tactics, maybe it will finally work one fine day because it doesn't seem to be working (if it's for the same offense). But anyway, I have a message for this young boy.

Little boy ah, don't cry so much. Do you remember the last time it happened? You cry and cry and cry and cry and in the end, daddy opened the door and asked you if you were going to do it again, right? You said 'no' and you got to get back into the house, right?

Remember the time before that? Same thing, right? The time before, before that? Also same thing, right?

OK, little boy. Here's the trick.

Next time daddy does it again, don't cry. Just sit there, right outside and keep quiet. I promise you daddy will open the door MUCH FASTER. TRUST ME, little boy. You know why? My son did it to me once.

Oh, oops. Did I just say I did it too? Damn. OK, fine. Guilty as charged. But I did it only twice. The first time was in my favor. My son damn smart. He figured me out and when I opened the door, he sobbed his way out like he was leaving home. Then he stood outside with a grave expression on his face, as if saying goodbye.

I bulked. How dare you turn the tables on me? What, are you depressed or something? Oh my God, what did I do?

Little boy, that's why, I tell you. You must be smarter. Just keep quiet and walk out like you know the routine. It works like magic, little boy.

p.s. I am not proud of the fact that I did it too, in the past, but hey, every parent makes mistakes, ok?? So, I learned not to do it again because it would make the kids think that they are not wanted. I know, I know. Oh, stop nagging me already...

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