Not that they are all relevant to me, of course, but I felt compelled to write this out because I am sort of trying to pin down the character for one of stories. She's the high-flying, arrogant everyday b*t*h in the corporate world.
And she's so beautiful that she's got at least one suitor to every piece of item in her closet...and that is a lot. I know cause I created this lunatic. And every now and again, she rejects someone. So, this list is hers. I don't have a name for her yet, so....here goes.
Why she turns down the men who have proposed to her in the past.
You're a superstar
I really was kidding when I said I would get into Brad Pitt's pants if he were right here in front of me. Well, actually, I think I would. But seriously, would YOU marry a superstar? Er, not by a long shot, hun. I would if you were Tiger Woods because you would shag everything (OTHER THAN ME) in your line of sight (because you can and should) and then I get to wrangle every possible cent I can from you in a divorce settlement.... If you are ultra-rich celebrity who does not shag around, buzz off.
You've got no imagination/humor.
Might as well marry a blank piece of paper. And I've already got plenty of those. I like to laugh. I like people who makes me laugh. I hate being bored and don't like to pay for entertainment.
If you think phone sex is hot...
Er....this one would keep me awake night after night after night after night, I am assuming. What is wrong with the real thing, anyway? Some men just like to goof off in the middle of the night or something and they think it's so damn hot that they have you on the phone and they're staring at page 35 of a Playboy magazine. Blergh....they have no life. Go get one. And no, that thing in your pants is not your saving grace.
You are so full of yourself
Yes, you might think you want to marry me but hell, I know you want to marry me because you want to use me as a ladder so that you can not only be the center of YOUR universe, but the center of mine as well. Shove off! I am the center of EVERYONE's universe.
Rude to other people
(this part is a lot me) I am not talking about freely cursing madcap drivers on the road or showing people his middle finger. I am talking about people who ignore you when you talk to them (by nodding or brooding, thinking that you know what they are thinking) and also people who don't know how to say 'thank you', 'excuse me', 'sorry' (especially sorry), 'welcome', etc. I've had my fair share of people who thinks I am deaf too because for some reason, they bellow instead of talk.
If he has ten cats, eight hamsters, 5 roosters, 11 fishes and 1 dog living in his house
You are probably asking me to marry you because you want someone to help you clean up poop in your house. Sorry, mate, you are feeling up the wrong skirt. I don't even have a broom.
Barking up the wrong tree.
Simple. I don't love you. I don't even like you, and yet, you are always hanging around me waiting for bits and pieces of my life that I might throw at you. You are so pathetic. I don't dig you. You dig that or else.