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Looking For Love

The other day, I saw someone who reminded me about a lot of girls when I was younger. I'll stop beating around the bush and say, 'Yes, yes, yes...she reminds me of me as well' but the fact of the matter is that I outgrew that and she is still that way despite being only a couple of years younger than me. I guess some people are just stuck in the Looking For Love (LFL) mode all life long, you think so? OK, let me get this straight, there is nothing wrong with looking for love because love is everything. But when you are looking for love in the wrong form, then there IS something wrong. Without going on and on about how wrong this person can be, let's just say that she is looking for love in a man. She is looking for a man to complete her life, to complete her dreams, to fill her bed, to make her feel whole again. Without that man, she feels that her life is worthless. She thinks that with the man, she will find a dream life....she will spend days being adored and loved. He will worship the ground she walks on. She will wake up in his arms with a smile and they languidly spend the rest of their days together waiting for the sun rise and then coming home to see the sun set. Every other day, there is a rainbow just right outside their window. Bollocks. Oh, great. Now you think I am this aging woman harboring bitter thoughts about love and men. Oh..but you can be so wrong because I love this!! :-) Anyway, here's what I think. I think love starts from within. You love outwardly and not looking for it from the outside in. Confusing? It simply means that you have to love yourself first. Nothing else matters because you are the most important thing in the world. In her own words, she doesn't think she means much without that man she is looking for. She thinks she is ugly because no one seems to like her, accept her for who she is and no one is keen on massaging her feet before she sleeps. Basically, she is living in a state of FML all the time. We were drinking and you know people do stupid things when they are drunk. She was. One moment, I thought John was her boyfriend because they held onto each other in a tight embrace. The next moment, appears that Jason is her boyfriend because they were almost snogging. You know men....they don't let an opportunity like that go and the mentality is always 'why not??!! she's offering, ain't she?'. The next moment, Chuck is stuck too. But she's on the hunt and it appears that any man will do. In fact, it dawned on me that if a woman is all she is left with, she'll take the woman. Sigh....ask any single man and he will tell you that the moment you start to behave like he is the lifeline, the instinct is to run for the Appalachian mountain. Or at least Gunung Ledang. In short, she is saying that she is not existing for herself. She is merely here on a hunt for the right man to complete her life. Bother. Telling her that she is beautiful, talented, funny and unique in her own way is not going to cut it because she believes in the fact that fulfillment can only be found outside of herself. You can't really help someone like that – she is the only person who can make her see her own worth. Ah well. We all have to go through it the hard way. No better teacher than f*cking things up on your own, they say.
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