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Sleep Well My Dirty Dancer. You'll Be Missed Loads

I'm funny this way....when something hurts me, I don't talk about it. I brood. Notice how I've never written a single word on Michael Jackson's death? Nada. Zilch. Because the Moonwalker....the friggin' monwalker is GONE!!! And then I get another hit in the form of Patrick Swayze. Swell, just swell. Now, I am missing a Dirty Dancer too?! Man, what the - someone's shittin' me, man! It's a bad habit that I have to change because it must be weird for someone so vocal to say nothing about something like this. I have to stop pretending that it doesn't hurt me. I have to stop pretending that the world is the same way it was before something like this happened. That's called running away, isn't it? Yup. So it took me...how long....to write this? With my Dirty Dancer, I sorta got a pre-warning in that we knew he was fighting something (really hard) and he might win...but he might lose. In a weird sort of way, we're 'prepared' for it, somewhat. Not to say that I said 'Oh, I knew it would come to this' because it was still quite a big blow to me but I was mentally prepared to deal with the fact that the disease won over his will to live. At least he saw it coming and spent the rest of his days spending it the way he would like to spend it. He lived like it was the last day of his life everyday for two years. It's something. Something that Michael Jackson did not get. This so effing hurts. When Dirty Dancing came out, I consistently daydreamed that I was Jennifer Grey and saw him doing his dirty dance moves all over my dreams. I must've watched, like, 78 times or something. In my life, the only other movies that stuck were Top Gun, Jerry McGuire, Dirty Dancing, Footloose. There must have been a few that I missed. I'll know when someone dies. Shit. But I watched and memorized (sort of, can't dance it, tho) the last dance right down to each gyration they made with their hips. Not the right time to perve him but....GAWD, he was the perfect combination of grace (some would say sissy-ness) and manhood! Nobody else would have been able to pull that off and not be called gay. Except for Patrick Swayze. He is a devoted husband who ADORED his wife so, gay rumors are more or less out of the question. Anyway, he's gone. And I still can't effing believe it. And I hate it that I lost my Dirty Dancing VHS tape. With this, I HAVE TO go get it in DVD format. I'm sure lots of people are reproducing and selling them everywhere now. Excuse me while I go blow my nose. Gonna find the song 'She's Like The Wind' and listen to it before I go to sleep tonight.
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