I wrote this post some time back and after much thinking, I've decided to post it anyway.
I over-estimated my own importance. I will never do that again. Another lesson learned. Maybe it was because of the network of people who value me are not always within my vicinity, maybe that's why.
This is a very emotional post for me because I was a little sad about my birthday turn-out. I invited very few people and VERY FEW made the effort to come. Some didn't even bother to wish me at all. It's not like I'm a child who's celebrating her Barbie Doll birthday event in McDonalds or something but I am trudging along on a little journey that I find more than a little daunting and they would understand.
To me, it was a way for me to release stress and also prove that I have friends who are not 9 and 7 and who thinks I am the love of their lives. During this journey, I would need friends who value me.
But I am of little value. Oh, don't worry, I'm not beating myself over the head with my pink dumbbells or poking needles into multiple voodoo dolls. It's just that....I over-estimated my own importance and value.
Maybe it's because those who would truly support me and be my friend are not in my country, I think. It's the internet. It's because I am bigger in the cyberworld than I am in the real world and many people relate to me and are there for me (privately) when I tell them things.
And it's not their fault that they don't care. It's my fault. I never cared for them in the first place when I got married and had my kids. I pushed myself out of that circle first - and they're just not that into me anymore.
I know that now.
I am rarely so revealing and emotional about the things that goes through my mind on my blog but sometimes, it's better to let things out into the open, air the thongs, than to keep it soggy inside a plastic bag.
So, here I am. Airing my thongs.
Shoutout to those who came!!!! Especially those who had to cancel plans (family), rush from another state (brother), had to hand kids to husband (corey), never seen for a hundred years (mon), rush there after a working event (jon & pleasance), who turned photog all night long (eric mui), came first and there was no one there (angeline), had to shout 'her baju her baju' when my shirt went out when being lugged out of the pub like a log (jenny), had to send girlfriend home first (cousin), rush there after a LONG day at work (sam), and someone who dumped his mother in KL Sentral instead of sending her all the way to the airport just to come (Thong).
Of course, to the cousin who decided to celebrate with me anyway despite his being a few more days to go. Thankfully too. :-) Without your gang, things would not have been as fun, so, thank you, Jamie.
Especially to my brother, sister, cousin and sam for lugging my sorry ass back home. Love you and sorry I'm so heavy!
cheers, everyone. Your effort, even though you do not (did not) know why, made a difference.
I was kind of a little sad when I read the news about this - there will be no live-in Indonesian maids in Malaysia anymore . There are pros and cons to having a live-in maid, as with everything else, but for us, we enjoyed more pros than cons. Back then, when my kids were little, we brought in a family of maids to help with...well, just about everything, and we were like two families merged into one. They ate what we ate, we sleep, they sleep, we shop, they shop, they joke, we laugh, we joke, they laugh...for me, the maid I hired was more like a sister and side-kick to me. For that few years, I was dependent on her to mind-read my schedule and when I need or don't need help. She picked things up quickly and we ended up having lots of moments whereby we were in sync. Today, two of them are on my Facebook and we were gleefully chatting over Facebook Messenger since they've just discovered the wonders of the Internet and Social Media. Since we were more like partners in crim...
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