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OMG. Why am I not asleep yet at 1.47am. Coz
  1. Kids no school tomorrow
  2. I am watching the TVB series called 'The Family Link'
There's this scene which reminds me of why I am not in the performing industry that I JUST HAVE TO SHARE WITH YOU GUYS!!! OK OK OK....in this scene, this guy gave up his family to pursue his dreams of performing, right? And they're into gimmicks and stuff....dress-ups, cross-dressings and stuff like that....as gimmicks. Then some day down the road, the people are bored of the same ole concept liao. So, they drink while they dance lor. The manager then say 'OK, I want you to do something new' and they do. But then not good enough coz the manager then tells them that you have to do SM stuff, wear G-String dancing, whip each other and stuff like that if you want to keep the contract wor. This really reminds me of the reason why I am half-in, half-out of the entertainment industry. I love performing. I love the entertainment industry but then it's a very.....erm.....financially-driven one and once you establish yourself as a performer, you no longer have a say as to what you want to be or do....you do as the people who pay you say you should. END OF STORY. I rejected contracts in the past when I was young...by some companies lah....because I didn't want to sing Malay Rock (Ella was VERY IN at that time) and then Canto-Rock (because my canto....erm....hee hee hee...not so good!) Then later, I rejected some more because they either wanted me to strip down to bare minimum or sing something that I don't want to sing. PLUS, I started developing signs of anxiety and couldn't hold my own on stage. THE STAGE IS MY SECOND HOME. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR ME NOT TO HOLD MY OWN. I got angry..... ....then I realize...it's not my fault. These people are not focusing on the performers' individual talents. They're treating us like fucking merchandize. Like this, like that, like this, like that! No-lah. Thank you. If I make enough money, I will establish something that will help people like me focus on things that they're really good at and market it without compromise. p.s. If there are wrong spelling and grammar, please forgive me. It's late, I am sleepy and I don't want to go back to the top to proofread. Please forgive me

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