Amateur

Sigh…it’s true. Whenever you have people who are more skilled at something and you’re interested in joining them just to test-drive your own competence, nobody wants you in! *shaking head* Skydiving I’ve always thought it would be cool to skydive so a friend asked me, ‘If there’s one thing you want to do in the world, what would it be….you know, before you die?’. So, I said, “Skydiving” My friend went: PUA HA AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Aiyo, come on lah, be realistic a bit, can or not? I mean, something that you really actually want to do, not be scared to bits to do lah, heylow! Me: But I really want to do it. Friend: Bring a shovel, then. Me: Why lah? Friend: Use it to peel you off the floor of the plane first lah! Mahjong Never been good at it but a lot of my family members are. So, one time, they were playing three kakis, right? And then one of them want to go to the loo, wash hands, check on daughter and said, “Eh, look for (my sister)…ask her to take over my place for a while. I offered. Me: I can, I can. I sit down and play for a while for you. If I lose money, I replace. Brother (one of the players): Aiyo! Chi (sister, in Hokkien) cannot lah, you! Marsha: No, I can, I can. I know how to put the pieces together only…can. Cousin (also one of the players): Cannot lah, after you eat char-wu! (think that I win but actually I did not) Drinking Games I used to be really good at all these drinking games…don’t have to ask why lah, right? Those 5-10-15-open-close games….that’s a piece of cake for me! I can play dice too and that chi-chi-cha-bom-bom-ba malimalihoom thing too! But then, during a recent season, met up with an old friend who was partying with some of his friends…these are hard core people we’re talking about. So, I saw them playing and I kepoh wanna play. I check my dice after shaking them up, I check and check and check to make sure I got the correct numbers, right? My friends started yawning. Friend: Oy! Where got people see and count like that wan lah??! People shake one time, see one time only wan lah? Oh. Izzit? Paintball A friend is a regular paintballer (No such word, but do I care?) so, it looked kinda interesting. Actually, I’ve wanted to take up the game but then was turned off when one of my girlfriends came home with blue black marks the size of a beer mug on arm. I was thinking, where in the world do you find a paintball that large?? Is it even legal to do this? And then recently, met up with another friend who is a regular at paintball. I say I wanna try too lah….again. This time for real. I mentioned this twice…once to that friend and one more time to my cousin. And they’re response was…. Friend: Er….wait. Let me find some amateurs and I’ll organize something for you. Cousin: Aiyo! You so scared, what kind of position are they going to give you? First thing you do there is find a tree and hide….until the game also over lah.... CONCLUSION I think I’ll just stick to writing stories and punching at the keyboard. p.s. To those friends and family members who were surreptitiously mentioned in this blog post, NNNNAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *stick tongue out* I bet I can type faster than you! :-)