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Living With A Liar In My Lair

I recently had this maid (live-in helper) fiasco that generated a lot of response from my friends on Facebook, you see. To cut a long story short, she lied to me and she continued to lie to me even when I sat down with her and asked her to be honest with me. She showed me that she was capable of a ‘Hollywood’ casting opportunity even when I confronted her and tried to probe the truth out of her without me having to pour all the evidence out on the floor in front of her. On Facebook, I placed up an emergency call for opinion on what to do in such a situation and my friends all earnestly responded…some with their experience thrown in asking me to be cautious of people who are capable of lying and are dishonest with me. My heart was aching because I treated her like a family member and I welcomed her into my house and treated her the way I would my own kids. And yet, she lied to me about owning a mobile phone, lied to me about having boyfriend and also nicked some of my personal stuff without asking my permission. As little as the materials she took cost, I felt that it was the action that was disappointing. Why would she nick them when I would have given to her, anyway? I was very very upset and disappointed with the discovery. Although in my heart, I knew I cannot trust her anymore, not in the same way that I trusted her before, does it mean that it’s unforgiveable….that one chance is all she gets? I felt that as a human being, we’ve all lied before and we’ve made mistakes before and I needed to decide whether to kick her out because she was a threat to my family and kids or do I give her a humanly chance to prove that she can change. Most of my friends came back to me with horror stories about their experience and I truly sympathize with them and their opinion and feedback has been taken into account. I will thread very carefully from now on and will keep my ears, eyes and mouth out for signs of dishonesty or abuse. But most of them told me that I should kick her ass. I did. But not kick her ass out of the house. She’s still here….and I feel torn about keeping her or kicking her out of the house. Then some friends DID tell me that I was too soft on her and to never take these things lightly and that she will repeat the offense or take revenge on me that I dug through her personal belonging. Then my husband looked at me and told me this that we’ve all made mistakes before and everyone who makes mistakes (albeit trivial ones) should be given another chance. Making one mistake does not a criminal it make. But listen up, here’s where I get a little edgy….she’s living in my house, has the key to my house, have access to everything that I call my own and she’s a liar. A bloody liar who can lie through her teeth with her eyes wide open with innocence. I hate nothing more than liars….and to live with a liar in my lair…..it makes me sick to the stomach. But then again, I’ve lied before so, does it mean that I will continue to lie about everything else from then on? If I deserve a chance, wouldn’t you think she deserves a chance too? So, my stance for now is that I forgive her because she deserves to be forgiven. But who’s going to forgive me if something goes wrong and that I am proven wrong….my gut feeling of her being able to chance is wrong. Who’s going to forgive me then? It’s a risk and I have decided to take this risk. It saddens me….that no matter how much I care for her well-being, she cares nothing about me. This is the truth and I have to accept that and learn to be more cautious around the house and where I leave my things. CCTV will be installed and my door will be locked at night. I will take necessary action to safeguard me and my kids against the liar in my lair. Note: Those who wish to comment (on Blogger or Facebook), please be nice and civil to each other and no bantering please.

Comments

Anonymous said…
everyone deserves a 2nd chance - but just be a little more careful, ok, marsha? just be on the lookout for signs of further lying and stealing ...
Anonymous said…
as it is now...I bet she already lied many times d 2u since that historic night with her.

Killer
Marsha Maung said…
angie, that's what i believe in too and hope that nothing serious will happen because i chose to forgive her.

killer, you're probably right....sigh...you're prob right. and i hate it. but....i m just too soft and am a blardie sotong-head!
Anonymous said…
Again I tell you this : if an Indon maid doesnt tell you lies...she's NOT an indon maid!

Telling lies come so naturally to them. No need to teach her to tell lies. She's expert d.

I bet if she doesnt tell lies, she will suffer and die. Take it from me who has gone through 5 indon maids. They're all the same! Big time liers!

Killer
Marsha Maung said…
killer, does this mean that I will never be able to get someone to mind my kids for me so that i can head out and have some fun or perform at night or...dunno what else lah. not everyone is unreliable lah, lazy got lah, stupid got lah, depressed got lah....but not all of them are liars. just like not everyone is a criminal.

i m hoping for that slither of light that hope is there.....like, maybe i did enough good in this lifetime for good karma to return to me leh?

but then again, i've done enough bad deeds oso wor...

erm....never mind.
Marsha Maung said…
killer, after sitting here thinking about it...about all the feedback and what the agent have said, I have decided to return the maid to her rightful place...right beside her boyfriend in Indonesia.

I think by doing this, I will save myself from having to face a liar every single day, looking at her blardie face day in and day out being afraid of what she might do next, what is she lying about and which drawer is she digging through or dug through last night.

I think I am quite tired of being anxious around her liao.
Anonymous said…
Marsha...you do know I will not harm you, ya? I care about you and your kids, that's why I took time to write in your blog. I wont even bother if it's not you!~

The maid is best sent back to her BF. There she will be happy for a moment...but when there's no more money after the lovebirds are done being 'mooshy- mooshy' with each other.......then we shall see who's happy then!

About not getting to sing with me for shows and having some chill-out fun at certain nights...that's the price to pay for being a parent.

When your kids get older and start to chase skirts...then you'll know it's time to party liao!! YEAAHHHH!!!

Killer
Anonymous said…
one more thing...you MUST check her luggage THOROUGHLY b4 she leaves your hse. She WILL take some of your things for 'souvenir'!!

That was what my 2 ex-maids tried on the last day they left my hse. 1took my wife's expensive mini-skirt, bracelets, bangles, make up kit and the other took her new lipstick, eye shadow, unopened lingerie and new mini-purse!

Good thing I took their luggage and checked to their horror! After I removed all the items and questioned them, they die-die also said they didnt know who put those things in their luggage! Hehehe....see? They are all liers...and they will ALWAYS LIE!!! they will NEVER admit.EVER!

Go check her luggage. Dont say I didnt warn you.

Killer

Killer
Marsha Maung said…
killer, and one more thing....my agent, the one who got me the maid told me this 'aiya, they're all very big liars. if they don't lie, then they're not indon maids. it's in their blood and they r raised that way...you can't expect civilness from them' and I was like....huh? where did I hear that from ah? LOL
Anonymous said…
Marsha...that's surprising. I have NO IDEA who your maid agent is.LOL!
Take heart that you no longer have to worry about the potential 'revenge' your ex-maid may have planned to harm you and your kids. Remeber, she has handphone. She can anytime call 4 indon men and ambush you and do all sorts of things to you, at KNIFE-point! She wanna get 'even' ma.

True...you CANT expect civilness from an uneducated Indon snake like her.

Killer

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