Well, that’s probably what happened to me this morning when I went to the morning market to grab some foodstuff.
Most of the time, people who visit the wet market are aunties and uncles and perhaps some really young people who were dragged out of bed by their parents to fetch them to pick up some food from the market. These people stand out very remarkably…mouth drawn into a thin line, a frown and hardly-open puffy eyes.
But that’s not me.
Strangely enough, I quite like visiting the wet market now that they don’t perform the ‘slaying of the chickens’ atop the back of a truck for all to see…like a stage. Now, I think they hide in a camp somewhere nearby, slay the chics and then chop them up on the way, and plonk them for sale in the market the way we see it.
Anyway, that’s not my point. I usually buy fruits from my usual stall. Turns out, today is Monday and there aren’t many stalls open, so, I had to get my fruits from another stall. My eyes were lingering on the bright oranges and grapes and did not see who was behind the stall.
Turns out, there were these two ikan bilis (anchovies – small fry) yellow, punky-haired blokes with hair so sharp it could poke my eye out manning the stall. OK, never mind. Their looks aside, the oranges looked good. And the price was alright.
So, I picked out a basket of oranges and then some pears.
My skin began to crawl as I wondered if this kucikmiau (small fry, again) fella is trying to be funny with me because I didn’t look like the conventional auntie or kakak (maid) buying food in the market. I didn’t dress fancy but I am kinda tall, dressed in simple jeans and a lacy blouse. Not really market-dressing but not at all sexy or provocative.
Why, you ask, was he being funny with me?
I had a feeling that he was eyeing my barely-there chest! Holy Bananas! I don’t have ample boobs for him to ogle so WTF was that all about, right?
I shoved the pears in his direction.
Me (forced smile) Mmmmm….never mind. How much?
I pass him RM20….knowing the total.
Now, the basket of oranges was going for RM10 (nice ones, mind you and there were about 16 of them in there, I think, didn’t count) and the pear was RM5. Without needing to use the calculator, we would derive at the total tabulation of RM15.
I calculate keling-sow (small sums of money) very badly but if I can calculate that, then he also can lah.
Him RM20 lor….
Me (raised eyebrow) I thot the pear was RM5?
Him (sheepishly) Oh ya, oh ya….aiyo, I look at you so beautiful, I also forget how to count already lor….
OH, COME ON! COME ON, COME ON, COME ON! Don’t give me this sh*t! But still, I held onto that smile of mine and pretended to look elsewhere…for a very blunt object to knock his head with.
Him (to his other friend behind the counter) Eh, pass this leng-lui (pretty lady) RM5 change….
I was distracted with some really nice tow-foo and fishballs, but continued to stand there waiting for my change. When I turned back to them, both these buggers were still standing there wor!
I look at them and they look at me…time stopped.
Me (a bit angry liao lah, this time) My money???
Him 2 What money?
Him (pretend to be shocked) Huh? You never give leng-lui her change ah….aiyo, you ah! I asked you to pass…haiyah!
He then trudged lazily to the bucket where the money is kept, pulled out RM5 and handed it to me sheepishly. Sheepish, to me, is forgivable one time and one time only. Second time, this fella really wanna kena slap from me liao.
Him Sorry sorry….he also see you so leng-lui also cannot hear, cannot concentrate liao.
Me You all don’t go out very much, do you?
And then I walked over to the tow-foo store.
These two young punks clearly think that I am a fish out of water, never go market before or think I am three-years-old or something. I wonder how many aunties have been cheated with their leng-lui tactics leh? I can just imagine how some auntie will blush with delight and just forget her change whenever they call her ‘leng-lui’.
Oh, purleezzzzeeee…..don’t ask me how I know that it’s a tactic. It’s a woman’s instinct coz I wasn’t wearing any makeup, no short skirt, no knee-high boots, no sexy camisole…NOTHING, NADA. If you count an earring as provocative then you should join PAS (One of Malaysia’s political party…check them out for the reason why) so, I think they were trying to be funny…thinking that they can cheat me out of my RM5.