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No need TVB, I got my own drama to experience tonight

This is taken from my Facebook account. Since the post is viewable only to my friends under Facebook, here it is again in my blog, this time. I've done some revisions to it because the original version is very Malaysian-ized and a little 'raw'. :-) Anyway, this happened this Tuesday and my son is fine now. *** *** *** Dowan (don't want) to write too much tonight. All I know is I am still trying to put my heart back to where it belongs. My son fever and vomit, right? (I updated my facebook account status earlier) Then my inlaw called 'Eh, you faster come and take your son to the doctor. He vomit everything...EVERYTHING very fast...a lot'. I thot (thought) normal stomach virus thing, so managed to finish up one more article before popping into the car lah, drive to inlaws and then grab son. On the way to the doc, when doing a roundabout, my son's gurgling in the backseat. "I need to vomit, mom" but not in time. Habis (Gone) my back seat....EVERYTHING CAME OUT ON THE BACKSEAT and he is sitting there drenched in his own puke. I was still trying to find my way around the roundabout. When we reached the clinic, I ran into a coffee shop and ask for a whole stack of old newspapers, lots of them. My poor son looked so pathetic standing there, half-drenched in puke while I used the old newspaper to wipe out non-liquid gunk from the seat and soak up as much of the puke as I can. Then run into the clinic and suddenly realized I have run out of cash. Thank goodness that ATMs are nearby. I told my son to sit there quietly (but he's already cringing in pain) and ran left to CIMB bank ATM...result: we are unable to perform this transaction at this moment! T.I.U. (F**K) I, then ran to Public Bank and finally withdrew some money and scurried back to clinic. We waited and waited for doc...he checked and then say 'give me your hand'. I terperanjat (was shocked) lah. Why is he asking for my hand? He took my hand and pressed it against my son's abdomen. There it was...a very obvious lump in my son's stomach... My heart sank so far down that it landed with a heavy thud against the soles of my feet....a lump??? So, like any other panic-striken mother, we ran (drove, actually) to a hospital and registered with the ER. We asked for a scan. Sked (scared) lah, panic like crazy, tried to run down a guard and actually knocked down one of those steel poles the guards use to block off parking bays? Yeah, knocked down one of those. MY imagination was also in hyperdrive at that time...and I was also imagining that my son was turning into a pontianak (a kind of Malaysian vampire) before my eyes - turned very very pale, lips were blue!! I swore a lot, mentally, at the doctors and nurses coz they work so damn slumber (very slowly). And I thought this was the ER? Turns out....my son is just so full of shit. No, I don't mean it in a bad way...it's true! He IS full of shit...he is one helluva constipated kinda guy...until can vomit because too much berak (shit) inside his fallopian...eh, I mean his large intestines. I dunno whether to bang his head or my head against the wall... So, that's all for the drama tonight. End of story, good ending. And fark...i thot I said i wasn't going to write a lot?

Comments

Jamie said…
I had this problem with my son no.1 also...kaotim it by making sure he "bomb" once every 2 days. To do this, you have to go buy the soap inserting thingy sold at clinics or at most med shops.

Method for release and relief:

1) pull down pants
2) wash yr hands
3) take out sopa thingy
4) put lub ( if required..hehehe )
5) ask the subject to bend over ( easier this way )
6) insert soap thingy slowly
7) press down hard to fully discharge soap
8) wash hands again and wait for 2-5 minutes
9) wash the subjects rear end
10) you are done..

easy right? u want a demo?
Marsha Maung said…
jamie, OMG!!! so graphic and detailed your instructions~!!!!! no, no need for demo, thanks anyway.... :-)

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