Skip to main content

Never Ready For Loss

The curtains flutter and there's an overcast outside the window....the sun is hiding shyly behind a curtain of clouds....you know that rain or a storm is imminent. You watch the birds flutter south in a group, black crows spreading their wings towards a new destination and you know you're ready for rain. You're emotionally ready for it as you sit by the window, watching the sky darken and the clouds grow heavy. Yet you're NEVER ready for the first rain drop. The sudden splitter splatter of raindrops break your concentration and you feel the unexpected feeling of surprise and awe. "I thought I was ready for you", you smile outside. "But I guess one is never ready for something like this" Like death. Many of us have spent years waiting for it to happen. We knew it was inevitable and that one day we would have to face up to the fact. Some of us wishing it would come sooner and let the axe fall because it's been a painful and torturous journey for all. Confusing and debilitating years causing friction, finger-pointing, arguments amongst those close to the subject. Yet, we hate to think that it is unavoidable. Like rain. You're never ready for loss of a loved one. Today, my grandmother ends her fight with old age. She's finally completed her job as a human being and being a part of our lives....and moved on to a better place where she can run, laugh, smile, answer nature's call without anyone's help. A place where her knees can hold her and her arms can flap. Despite the fact that we've all been preparing for the completion of this final lap of hers, we're still caught by surprise. My father sounded bad on the phone and some of us are still in a daze....well, a little. Strange, isn't it? We knew it was coming and yet.....we get knocked over by a news we've been expecting to hear for years. Goodbye ah-mah...... *** p.s. My blog on Hong Kong trip will resume. Oddly enough, although shaken and a little confused, I'm fine. I just hope that my family members and my uncles and aunts are able to handle the situation well.

Comments

Anonymous said…
My deepest condolences to you and your family.

It is never easy like you say, whether we expect it or not, we are never ready.
Marsha Maung said…
thank you, judy, yeah....even though we knew it was coming, one can never be ready for this kind of thing!

Popular posts from this blog

A Liberating Activity - Guess What Mine Is....

When asked what’s my one single favorite thing to do in the world, I would usually name a whole list of things that I love to do when my work is not screaming at me. Something that takes my mind COMPLETELY off of everyday tasks and relaxes me. Take a guess what it is…. If you say ‘ reading ’, yes, I love reading (especially soppy love stories with lots of sex scenes, please. Hee hee hee ….) and I also love mystery novels but it’s not the first on the list. If you say ‘ playing the piano ’; yes, I love playing the piano. Creating forms a huge part of my life and whenever I play the piano (as inept at it as I am), there’s this tiny little girl inside of me jumping up and down with glee, clapping her hands. It’s my childhood dream to be able to play the piano! And thumping on the keys gives me a sense of satisfaction when I hear the music. If you say ‘ writing ’; You’ve got to be kidding me! You mean I don’t write enough as it is? Case closed. If you say ‘ playing with my kids ’; Yea...

Maid Side-Kick

I was kind of a little sad when I read the news about this - there will be no live-in Indonesian maids in Malaysia anymore . There are pros and cons to having a live-in maid, as with everything else, but for us, we enjoyed more pros than cons. Back then, when my kids were little, we brought in a family of maids to help with...well, just about everything, and we were like two families merged into one. They ate what we ate, we sleep, they sleep, we shop, they shop, they joke, we laugh, we joke, they laugh...for me, the maid I hired was more like a sister and side-kick to me. For that few years, I was dependent on her to mind-read my schedule and when I need or don't need help. She picked things up quickly and we ended up having lots of moments whereby we were in sync. Today, two of them are on my Facebook and we were gleefully chatting over Facebook Messenger since they've just discovered the wonders of the Internet and Social Media. Since we were more like partners in crim...

Demanding a Balanced Lifestyle

We live in a world choked with demands….demand for more money, better lifestyle, more holidays, smarter kids, bigger house, posher cars….etc. People walk around with spiritually unimportant goals in their minds driven by the need to succeed and be better than others around them. Hong Kong. South Korea. Japan. Most Asian countries suffer from this ill-fate which have caused a horrific rise in the number of suicide rates in the said countries. Malaysia is no exception as well although we’re very slowly gaining ground on our neighbors. Just picking up my son from school can become a stressful affair. I’ve mentioned this to a few friends of mine over the phone and all of them cluck their tongue shake their head. It’s end of the year and the kids are getting their test results back by now. I overheard a couple of tai-tais (housewives) gripe about their kids’ results. Mom: I don’t know-lah. My kid did not do very well this term. The best also got 95 only. (NINETY FIVE ONLY???) ...