Skip to main content

Sorry is not the hardest word

I remember very clearly, the day my first maid left after a 4 year hiatus with me and my in-laws. For days preceding her departure, I felt a kind of sickness in my stomach when I see her. Not the kind of sickness out of hatred. But more like a kind of doom. The feeling of anticipating something bad to happen. Like sitting there in a dark, damp, cold cell waiting on death row. Knowing that the time will come and waiting for the hammer to strike you. On the day of her departure, I wasn't myself all morning. Even as we packed and started driving towards KLIA, tears welled up in my eyes. I wanted her to say, "Nyonya, saya tinggal sini lah. Tak mau balik dulu lah". But she didn't - she was more than happy to go home to her family....and who could blame her? But she was leaving ours....I can't quite explain how it felt like to hear her singing Barney songs with my kids in the back seat while I drove, the journey seemed so long. At the departure gate, everyone bade goodbye but when it came to me, I hung onto her like mad and started bawling! Yes, bawled. I bawled when she walked past the gate. I cried some more when Jared asked where Kakak was going. Tears continued to stream even after the plane left, the kids were playing at the makeshift air plane near KFC, on the drive home where the kids slept. I remember the feeling very clearly. Coming back to a home without U-Ul...everything felt so empty. For days on end, I was lost, not knowing what to do with the kids. I had YuYun when Joshua was born and I had U-Ul when Jared was born. Hence, it was a big change for me. However, it wasn't that that bothered me. It was the feeling of emptiness and change that shook me. This afternoon, Kat called me and told me that she was going off. Off to a new country, to a new way of life. Although we have seen each other only once during my birthday, we connected a lot over the Internet and she visited my website a lot. We chatted over phone, email and IM and in a strange way, became close in a very 'internet' kind of way. I suddenly felt the same thing.....wishing her luck and hoping she would say that she have decided not to go after all and plans have changed. Here's hoping that she will have a fabulous life ahead. Of never getting the chance to eat Korean BBQ together like we said we would. Kat, bye bye!!! *sob sob*. Keep in touch ya? Update your blog ya? Instant message me, ok? Yes, when it RAINs, please remember me! Hence, to me 'sorry' isn't the hardest word to say. To me, sorry is very easy to say. Instead goodbye is the hardest word for me to utter.
5 comments

Popular posts from this blog

Maid Side-Kick

I was kind of a little sad when I read the news about this - there will be no live-in Indonesian maids in Malaysia anymore.

There are pros and cons to having a live-in maid, as with everything else, but for us, we enjoyed more pros than cons. Back then, when my kids were little, we brought in a family of maids to help with...well, just about everything, and we were like two families merged into one. They ate what we ate, we sleep, they sleep, we shop, they shop, they joke, we laugh, we joke, they laugh...for me, the maid I hired was more like a sister and side-kick to me.

For that few years, I was dependent on her to mind-read my schedule and when I need or don't need help. She picked things up quickly and we ended up having lots of moments whereby we were in sync. Today, two of them are on my Facebook and we were gleefully chatting over Facebook Messenger since they've just discovered the wonders of the Internet and Social Media.

Since we were more like partners in crime, I f…

Grilled Salmon With Unagi Sauce

I always disagree with people who say that they are lazy to cook, it's too hard, no time, too difficult, easier to eat out....etc. I can't agree because I have found multiple ways to cook simple, cheap meals without causing too much of a ruckus to my schedule. All it takes is a little bit of planning ahead and research. And a sense of humor when it turns out...to put it nicely...sucks.

Anyway, here's one simple one that ANYONE (kids included) can cook up. Seriously simple and easy.


I love salmon but my kids don't like the smell and texture. But that doesn't mean that I can't go out to the market and spend RM11 on ONE single piece of salmon fish and make MYSELF one, right? Kids can have the overnight pizza. :-)
This is fresh from the market....man oh man! I LOVE IT!!
Wash it properly, de-bone the thing if you want to but I just left everything the way it is and just covered the fish with some of the following:-

Yup, salt, pepper and McCormick's season-all powder…

It's The Hormones Slinging All Over Ryan Gosling

Every time I do this, you know I'm PMS-ing. I am usually quite sane and well-behaved. I promise you this. But..... After watching The Notebook, I am fully convinced that Ryan Gosling is not a man. He's sex. Pure sex. And love, of course. I knew that.I love Ryan Gosling whether he looks like he just woke up on an island....ESPECIALLY when he's half-naked!!!!I love him even if he's kissing someone other than me (who he SHOULD be kissing)I love him even when he's got literally no hair.I love him eventhough without the beard thing, he looks like a schoolboy still growing out his pubic hair.I love Ryan Gosling to the core and then you tell me one other thing to make me fall in love with him even more! I feel signs of a mild heart attack already!He plays the piano. He sings. And he sings to KIDS for Halloween!I mean.....aawwwwww......how come we good women who are only sometimes a teeny weeny bit (and I mean really tiny bit) bitchy never get one of these? What?! We DO …