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Update: Looking For and Writing The Next Page of Your Life

There comes a point in your life where change, whether it makes you elated or uncomfortable, will rap on your door like a determined neighbor trying to get your dog to stop barking.

New Directions

There's probably nothing much you can do about it and I've mentally gone through this in my head many times over. How, what, where, when, why?

One of the 'uncomfortable' things that I've had to do in the past 2 years is to face things that at not within my control.

For one, when you're facing a brick wall, the options are few. You either stand there looking at it, wailing, or you turn around and look for new directions. In some cases, I believe, you have to just to stand there and wait for the minute of panic to pass.

Decisions are best not made in anxiety-fueled flashes.

Such is parenting when me and the boys are facing uncertainties, such is work when I am wondering which direction is best. We all want to live the best life, be our best selves, wake up every morning filled with wonderment and joy, ready to face the day.

Some days, as I've come to understand, takes a little bit more patience than others. No number of self-help book can make that leap-out-of-bed mornings happen everyday consistently.

For the first time in a long time, this is what I am facing at the moment.
“For the first ten years of my creative journey, I did not make a single dime out of writing. And for the next ten years of my creative journey (which included the publication of three books) I always kept alternative day jobs — always made sure I had other streams of income to rely upon. I did not quit all my other jobs until EAT PRAY LOVE became a crazy bestseller, you guys. And EAT PRAY LOVE was a freak of nature.
The reason I always maintained other streams of income was because I never wanted to burden my creativity with the task of providing for me in the material world.” - Elizabeth Gilbert, EAT, PRAY LOVE 
Wrong Way signboard...but IS it the wrong way? Credit: neONBRAND on Unsplash

Against the Grain

As for being a mom to two boys, as much as I try to keep all our hands on deck, we still don't know what's in front of us. It STILL looks like a bloody abyss...or paradise. Like I said, we don't know what we're looking at.

The world is voraciously competitive and I am not one to sink away from competition. It is phantom fuel. But it also feels like out of the two options we have, sitting there is not the better one. Here's Carrie Dale on Why we Don't Change. She's right about one major obstacle: that we stop short because we don't get help.

It's been deeply lodged into our heads that getting help is for the weak. We do it because we can AND imagine when we're successful, people will think of us as Captain Marvel, Iron Marvel, Wonder Woman, Hulk, Wolverine, etc.

Well, even the Superheroes, we forget, had help. It's less about ham-fisted trashing around and more about talking to people and asking stuff. As non-Superheroes and mere mortals, no matter how kind we try to be with the rest of the world, giving someone the finger on the road in the middle of a bad day still happens.

Just Asking...

Networking and touching base with others, suffice to say, is something I've lost touch with over the 19 years that I've been 'working alone' as a freelancer. As much as I have learned about how to survive in this diabolical world, I don't have a Swiss Army Knife for everything. I need people to fill in the gaps and finding people requires asking around.

Come to think of it, I was REALLY good at this but it's a skill that's been relegated to the backseat. But it's still a card that I have in my back pocket, waiting for me to whip it out when the time calls for it.

I guess the time is NOW.

All it takes is just one small step in the right direction, then another...and another.
“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!” ~ C. JoyBell C.

Pre-Adult Problems for Parents

As for where the kids are headed, I don't really know. Sometimes I wish they were babies again when the choice was between mashed banana + pumpkin and pureed porridge. Now, as teenagers, the choices we're talking about have a heavier undertone - it's either a smackdown or a negotiation, both holding as much water as the other. It feels like it could change their life trajectory FOR-E-VER and a tectonic plate could shift.

I mean, who the heck knows? #lol #flailingarms

Everyday is a New Page

But what I do need to remember is that everyday is a blessing. Every single minute, in fact, is a blessing. Even when life is throwing us curve ball, they're opportunities for a home run.

The moment we think we're a finished book, we're done. But if we remember that everyday is merely a page in our Book of Life, it's not over. And we have to keep turning the page and writing.

Let go of this picture you have in your head of what it’s supposed to be and put your trust in life. Detach and let go. - Luminita D. Saviuc,
Although there's no template for the life, the life of other people should not be used to compare to ours.

Say 'NO' to Comparisons

I mean, you could be envious of your former colleague's new job while you're struggling with three part-timer ones. You might even resent her for finding a new beau (they're traversing Europe with the kids at the moment, by the way) after a bitter feud with her ex-husband while you're eating overnight, microwaved pizza alone on your sofa scrolling through Netflix.

But what does THAT serve? How is it going to improve your life if your inner reaction evokes jealousy? It's just a waste of blessings.

I don't have everything down pat, of course not, otherwise I would be on a jet set on a course to either Bali or the Bahamas, but the journey has pushed me out of my own comfort zone and I am seeing sides of myself and my kids that I've never seen before.

It's both exciting and terrifying at the same time. But in accepting things as they are, I have a chance at determining what might or WILL be in the near future.

Lots love,

p.s. Please visit my new website, It's a new website and it's still a work-in-progress but if you have feedback, I would be more than happy to hear them, good or bad. As it is, someone's just made fun of the name but I am really happy about the choice of domain name. I've pondered over the name for eons and it took me this long to settle on this one. I have my reasons for it and I will stick to it.

p.s.s If you find errors, inconsistencies or anything offensive, please let me know and I'll get it fixed in a jiffy


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