Last week today, on a Thursday when I was on the way back from dropping the kids off at school, my cousin passed away in the hospital at 8.10am.
Things have moved on, we've done our best to send her off to her next journey. A journey we foresaw and had hoped would not come too soon but did.
She fought really hard against cancer, every single day she was alive, she fought it with everything she had. With herself, with the doctors and with her God. She wanted to stay. That's what makes it sad when during her final moments, she saw it coming. She knew she was defeated. The fight was over.
In a way, her passing was a relief to her. It was a bloody painful journey for her. And it brought many of us down to our knees.
For a few days, even when we were all trying so hard to be strong, to smile and trying to keep it together for everyone else who DID NOT see it coming (not everyone knew she had cancer so, to them, it was an even bigger shock), it's like we still had a fort around us.
Seeing her there lying in her final bed, looking into her peaceful face, wishing her well, sending her love, telling her not to worry and that we will be fine and remember her, seeing the heart-wrenching sight of the final nail being hammered into her coffin (I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT SOUND AGAIN), and watching her being wheeled into the crematorium...it STILL did not sink in.
Stubborn, I wanted to say the fight is NOT OVER. It's not over.
But it was.
What I've learned is this - surrender.
Yes, you can fight a lot of things but in life, you can't fight fate, you can't fight God, you can't fight Karma and you can't fight the Universe.
Last year, we lost a cousin-in-law to cancer too. This year, I lost a friend in March, and then in April, I lost a cousin. Maybe life is trying to teach me something - let go.
Fight with everything you have in every fiber in your body but when the time is right to let go, do it. But don't forget. What I will remember are her valiant efforts to remain on earth, to be alive.
It's so cliche but true - every morning we wake up, it's a blessing.
See You Again
Wiz Khalifa
It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again
[Verse 1: Wiz Khalifa]
Damn, who knew?
All the planes we flew, good things we been through
That I'd be standing right here talking to you
'Bout another path, I know we loved to hit the road and laugh
But something told me that it wouldn't last
Had to switch up, look at things different, see the bigger picture
Those were the days, hard work forever pays
Now I see you in a better place, uh
[Refrain: Wiz Khalifa]
How can we not talk about family
When family's all that we got?
Everything I went through
You were standing there by my side
And now you gon' be with me for the last ride
[Chorus: Charlie Puth]
It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again
[Post-Chorus: Charlie Puth]
Aah oh, aah oh
Wooooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Yeah
[Verse 2: Wiz Khalifa]
First, you both go out your way and the vibe is feeling strong
And what's small turned to a friendship, a friendship turned to a bond
And that bond will never be broken, the love will never get lost
And when brotherhood come first, then the line will never be crossed
Established it on our own when that line had to be drawn
And that line is what we reached, so remember me when I'm gone
[Refrain: Wiz Khalifa]
How can we not talk about family
When family's all that we got?
Everything I went through
You were standing there by my side
And now you gon' be with me for the last ride
[Bridge: Charlie Puth]
So let the light guide your way, yeah
Hold every memory as you go
And every road you take
Will always lead you home, home
XOXO,
Marsha
p.s. Please leave me a message if you see a grammatical or spelling error. I will get them fixed ASAP. And thank you!
Things have moved on, we've done our best to send her off to her next journey. A journey we foresaw and had hoped would not come too soon but did.
She fought really hard against cancer, every single day she was alive, she fought it with everything she had. With herself, with the doctors and with her God. She wanted to stay. That's what makes it sad when during her final moments, she saw it coming. She knew she was defeated. The fight was over.
In a way, her passing was a relief to her. It was a bloody painful journey for her. And it brought many of us down to our knees.
For a few days, even when we were all trying so hard to be strong, to smile and trying to keep it together for everyone else who DID NOT see it coming (not everyone knew she had cancer so, to them, it was an even bigger shock), it's like we still had a fort around us.
 |
| Our final picture with this sister/cousin. We'll remember you always and miss you |
“They say ‘you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.’ The truth is, you knew exactly what you had. You just didn’t think that you were going to lose it.” ~UnknownPeople came, people went, people asked out of curiosity, and people messaged incessantly about what happened. I wanted it all to stop because every response was another new gash in my heart. An admission that I don't want to face.
Stubborn, I wanted to say the fight is NOT OVER. It's not over.
But it was.
What I've learned is this - surrender.
Yes, you can fight a lot of things but in life, you can't fight fate, you can't fight God, you can't fight Karma and you can't fight the Universe.
Expect nothing. Appreciate everything.Remind yourself that nothing is permanent.
Last year, we lost a cousin-in-law to cancer too. This year, I lost a friend in March, and then in April, I lost a cousin. Maybe life is trying to teach me something - let go.
Fight with everything you have in every fiber in your body but when the time is right to let go, do it. But don't forget. What I will remember are her valiant efforts to remain on earth, to be alive.
It's so cliche but true - every morning we wake up, it's a blessing.
See You Again
Wiz Khalifa
It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again
[Verse 1: Wiz Khalifa]
Damn, who knew?
All the planes we flew, good things we been through
That I'd be standing right here talking to you
'Bout another path, I know we loved to hit the road and laugh
But something told me that it wouldn't last
Had to switch up, look at things different, see the bigger picture
Those were the days, hard work forever pays
Now I see you in a better place, uh
[Refrain: Wiz Khalifa]
How can we not talk about family
When family's all that we got?
Everything I went through
You were standing there by my side
And now you gon' be with me for the last ride
[Chorus: Charlie Puth]
It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again
[Post-Chorus: Charlie Puth]
Aah oh, aah oh
Wooooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Yeah
[Verse 2: Wiz Khalifa]
First, you both go out your way and the vibe is feeling strong
And what's small turned to a friendship, a friendship turned to a bond
And that bond will never be broken, the love will never get lost
And when brotherhood come first, then the line will never be crossed
Established it on our own when that line had to be drawn
And that line is what we reached, so remember me when I'm gone
[Refrain: Wiz Khalifa]
How can we not talk about family
When family's all that we got?
Everything I went through
You were standing there by my side
And now you gon' be with me for the last ride
[Bridge: Charlie Puth]
So let the light guide your way, yeah
Hold every memory as you go
And every road you take
Will always lead you home, home
XOXO,
Marsha
p.s. Please leave me a message if you see a grammatical or spelling error. I will get them fixed ASAP. And thank you!
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