Skip to main content

Women : Internal Violations

I felt a little sick translating this but Syed Azmi has a huge following on his Facebook page because of his many humanitarian efforts. It spans states, countries, races, religions and backgrounds. As he sometimes does, he updates the rest of his followers about what he has been up to.
This was written in half English and half Bahasa as some bilingual Malaysians would often do but I feel that the world needs to read this too. The fear and the shame is just the same, no matter the language, no matter the country. 
I've been asked by some people why people keep silent when they are raped or sexually violated and I would give them a smile (a smirk, you might even say) and ask 'Is it anything we can be proud of?', 'How many people do you think will believe us?', 'What on earth are people going to think of me then?', 'What's the use? and 'Who's the winner in the end, is there one, is it me?'
If those are questions a grown person would ask, imagine the scary ones a child would. It might, however, look something a little like this. 
Image Credit : Shame on Freeimages.com
*** *** ***
"Ayah pass phone dia pada adik. Adik amik handphone and main handphone.
Belakang adik, ayah mencabul dan rogol saya."
(Dad passed his phone to little sister. She takes and plays with the phone. Behind her, dad sexually violates and rapes her)
Although this may sound absurd, tapi kalau dah macam ni (if it has been like this) for the past 5 years and dah cakap dengan mak, mak tak endah (have spoken to mom but mom doesn't do anything), cakap dengan cikgu, cikgu takut nak masuk campur (have spoken to the teacher but the teacher's afraid to meddle in family affairs)- Last-last, main depan adik beradik 4 orang pun dah takde perasaan dah (performs such vile acts in front the siblings and they don't even see it as anything out of the norm anymore). But it hurt this child, silap (wrong) - all children.
In the end, waktu masuk sekolah menengah baru-baru ni (when she entered secondary school lately), this girl try to tell the teacher, the teacher called me and after an hour drive, i reached the school and see her.
All sort of sex act, you name it.
I gave her 2 pregnancy test to check. Comes back negative.
And this is how we start.
I introduced myself.
I explained that we are all here to protect you.
Tanya nama, tanya nama panggilan apa. (I asked for her name)
The teacher already explained to me earlier what happened and they wanted to know what to do next.
Standard, call 15999
Report police
Medical check up
Tapi anak ni tak takut semua tu.(but the child is not afraid of all of that)
All dia nak tahu (all she wants to know is), apa jadi nanti kat mak dan adik beradik. (What will happen to mom and all her other siblings)
Dia tetap sayang ayah. Dia cuma nak ayah berhenti buat jahat padanya.(She still loves her dad. She just wants him to stop the acts)
I actually said, today, i try my best to do what you want.
Nak report police? Tak tahu. (Do you want to report this to the police? Don't know)
Habis dik, nanti siapa nak bagitahu ayah supaya jangan buat lagi? Tak tahu. (Who, then, is going to tell dad to stop whatever he's doing? Don't know)
Lagi lama kita tunggu, ayah akan terus buat. (The longer you wait, the longer he will continue doing it)
She finally said, kakak pun kena juga. Kalau kakak report, saya report. (My big sister's received the same treatment. If she reports the rape, I will do it too)
The sister is in KL and she is in Selangor.
She called the sister.
The sister thinks like her.
Nanti apa kata keluarga. (What will, then, the family say)
Nanti apa kata jiran. (What will the neighbors say)
Nanti ayah kena buang kerja. (What if dad loses his job?)
Saya nak sambung belajar, kalau ayah tak kerja sapa nanti nak tanggung belajar. (I want to continue studying. If dad is out of a job, who's going to pay for the studies?)
Takpelah, biarkan aje. Mak kata bagi peluang. (It's alright. Let it go. Mom says to give him a chance)
I explained again.
Kakak kata, nak fikirkan dulu. Malam ni bagitau. (Big sister says to think about it again. We'll make a decision tonight and let you know)
Ok.
Talked to the girl kat depan ni.(In front of this place)
She is now talking abit. Better than earlier. Rasa lega (Relieved) She said.
I explained lagi, ni sementara sahaja (It's temporary). Nanti balik cuti semester lain pulak.(When you're back during semester break, things will be different [?])
We drove back, waiting for the decision.
I called JKMWPKL, pasukan beruniform (uniformed personnnel) dan prepared the teacher.
And waited.
Baru sekejap tadi, the kakak confirm. (Just a moment ago, the big sister confirmed)
"Buatlah report, tapi biar hujung minggu waktu ayah tak kerja." (Let's make the report, but let's do it at the end of the week when dad isn't working)
And as someone who respect the need and consent of a child, wish i could do better.
Everyone is in place. Now we let the system run.
Tapi yang saya paling sedih (What I am saddest about), among siblings, dah boleh share" Kau kena tak semalam?" sesama sendiri sebab dah biasa kena (they share privately amongst each other, 'Did you get it? because it has become a common occurrence and knowledge). More then 5 years.
If you ask me, the family dynamics plays an important role why children fikir tak nak repot. (why the children are reluctant to report such actions)
Ayah seorang sahaja yang kerja. (Dad is the sole breadwinner of the family)
Mak suri rumah. (Mom is a homemaker)
Tiada datuk nenek saudara dan ada konflik keluarga. (No grandparents, relatives around and there's family conflict)
Jadi kalau ayah masuk jail, siapa yang susah. Mereka yang susah. (In the event the father goes to jail, who suffers the fate? They will ALL suffer the fate)
Jadi penyelesaian yang itu perlu. (So, the solution to this predicament [?])
Imagine how to answer that infront of the child?
Mana sempat nak maki-maki. Saya senyum sahaja. (There's no time to judge. I can only smile)
Dan explain our system macam mana. (explain to them how our system works)
*I may have foster care to be in place.
Apa masyarakat boleh buat? (What can the society do?)
Kenal balai polis yang berdekatan. (Get to know the local, nearest police station)
Dapatkan number telefon polis. (Get and note their telephone numbers)
Ingat 15999. Ajar pada semua anak-anak. (Remember the number 15999. Drill the number into all your children)
JANGAN TAKUT NAK BUAT REPORT. (Don't be afraid to make a report)
JANGAN TAKUT NAK BUAT REPORT. (Don't be afraid to make a report)
JANGAN TAKUT NAK BUAT REPORT. (Don't be afraid to make a report)
(especially cikgu, kaunselor, jiran)  (especially if you're a teacher, counselor or neighbor)

Syed Azmi Alhabshi
Small Lamb.
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Maid Side-Kick

I was kind of a little sad when I read the news about this - there will be no live-in Indonesian maids in Malaysia anymore.

There are pros and cons to having a live-in maid, as with everything else, but for us, we enjoyed more pros than cons. Back then, when my kids were little, we brought in a family of maids to help with...well, just about everything, and we were like two families merged into one. They ate what we ate, we sleep, they sleep, we shop, they shop, they joke, we laugh, we joke, they laugh...for me, the maid I hired was more like a sister and side-kick to me.

For that few years, I was dependent on her to mind-read my schedule and when I need or don't need help. She picked things up quickly and we ended up having lots of moments whereby we were in sync. Today, two of them are on my Facebook and we were gleefully chatting over Facebook Messenger since they've just discovered the wonders of the Internet and Social Media.

Since we were more like partners in crime, I f…

Grilled Salmon With Unagi Sauce

I always disagree with people who say that they are lazy to cook, it's too hard, no time, too difficult, easier to eat out....etc. I can't agree because I have found multiple ways to cook simple, cheap meals without causing too much of a ruckus to my schedule. All it takes is a little bit of planning ahead and research. And a sense of humor when it turns out...to put it nicely...sucks.

Anyway, here's one simple one that ANYONE (kids included) can cook up. Seriously simple and easy.


I love salmon but my kids don't like the smell and texture. But that doesn't mean that I can't go out to the market and spend RM11 on ONE single piece of salmon fish and make MYSELF one, right? Kids can have the overnight pizza. :-)
This is fresh from the market....man oh man! I LOVE IT!!
Wash it properly, de-bone the thing if you want to but I just left everything the way it is and just covered the fish with some of the following:-

Yup, salt, pepper and McCormick's season-all powder…

Stargazer - Stretch Those Sides

I have been doing this pose, part of Cosmic Dance (a type of yoga, I am assuming), called Stargazer pose without knowing it is called Stargazer's pose a lot in the past. You see, sometimes, I don't follow the rules and come up with my own stretches and poses. It is fun.



I have on some music, nice, soothing music or just anything I can click on. Then I go with the flow, letting my hair down. Just moving to the music...and that is when I come up with the above Stargazer's pose.

This pose really stretches your sides. Keep your eyes on the outstretched hand if you are keeping it pointed to the top, as if you are waving or connecting to a higher energy from the Universe. Your arms will ache a little but hey, toned arms, here you come! :-)

For those who want a bigger stretch, it is safe to slowly and gently move the lifted hand towards your back...don't overdo it, listen to your body's complaints and respect it. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, remember th…