Skip to main content

Motherhood : Sometimes You Want to Quit

My kids tell me they love me a hundred times a day, and for a very good reason....I might just pack my bags and leave. LOL. I've honestly said so myself, on worse days, a few times, and on other days, in a huff.

It sometimes feel like I've done everything within my power and yet, it is not enough. Something is still missing. If you live with someone who is understanding, you're in a good place, stay forever. If you live with someone who thinks nothing of everything that you've done, then please consider the meaning of life. #kiddingnotkidding

I remember sitting at the back kitchen in 2005 or 2006 trembling with anxiety, fear and insecurity because nothing I did was ever enough for the person that I was living with. There was bound to be something I am bad at and it was MY RESPONSIBILITY. I had it shoved down my throat and into my heart so bad that I believed that everything WAS my responsibility and it's my fault. All of them.

I was made to feel that everything had to be perfect and the job was mine but the reality is nothing is perfect. The laundry will never be empty (for long). As long as you have small children in the house, there is going to be that one single evil, cursed piece LEGO on the floor for you to step on. Dust is everywhere.

Mothers are humans who give and give and give, they know no boundaries as long as they know and think that there is something they can do for their children and family. Yes, there are going to be those moms who rocked their children's lunch boxes with kimchi-inspired burgers, steaks and potatoes, healthy burritos and chia-seed juices. There are also going to be moms who rock their Pradas and LVs while picking their kids up from Kindergarten. There will also be moms who have romantic night-outs and holidays with their significant others away from the kids in a beautiful foreign land.

They're all on Facebook, right? #lol

And while there's nothing wrong with any of the abovementioned moms, what we're actually talking about right now is you who does not, did not have, will not be able to have or don't do any of the above right now or in the near future.
Motherhood doesn’t look anything like I imagined when I was young. Motherhood doesn’t look like those pinterest boards full of birthday ideas with perfect fondant cakes and party favors that take three hours to make -
Despite lacking in many ways, dirty floors, dusty shelves and moldy toilets and all, every single day of my life, I have dedicated them to these 2 people that I've been tasked to raise and love. And as the Chinese saying goes, As long as you can answer to the heaven, earth and yourself, you're fine. Even if I die today, I think I am fine. I don't have to answer to Hell, right? Right, I'm good to go. LOL

So, there's a spot on the floor? Fine. I'll let my boy know about it and he'll clean it.

And by the way,

...and the wine, please. The wine.

It's Friday again, folks!
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Maid Side-Kick

I was kind of a little sad when I read the news about this - there will be no live-in Indonesian maids in Malaysia anymore.

There are pros and cons to having a live-in maid, as with everything else, but for us, we enjoyed more pros than cons. Back then, when my kids were little, we brought in a family of maids to help with...well, just about everything, and we were like two families merged into one. They ate what we ate, we sleep, they sleep, we shop, they shop, they joke, we laugh, we joke, they laugh...for me, the maid I hired was more like a sister and side-kick to me.

For that few years, I was dependent on her to mind-read my schedule and when I need or don't need help. She picked things up quickly and we ended up having lots of moments whereby we were in sync. Today, two of them are on my Facebook and we were gleefully chatting over Facebook Messenger since they've just discovered the wonders of the Internet and Social Media.

Since we were more like partners in crime, I f…

Grilled Salmon With Unagi Sauce

I always disagree with people who say that they are lazy to cook, it's too hard, no time, too difficult, easier to eat out....etc. I can't agree because I have found multiple ways to cook simple, cheap meals without causing too much of a ruckus to my schedule. All it takes is a little bit of planning ahead and research. And a sense of humor when it turns put it

Anyway, here's one simple one that ANYONE (kids included) can cook up. Seriously simple and easy.

I love salmon but my kids don't like the smell and texture. But that doesn't mean that I can't go out to the market and spend RM11 on ONE single piece of salmon fish and make MYSELF one, right? Kids can have the overnight pizza. :-)
This is fresh from the oh man! I LOVE IT!!
Wash it properly, de-bone the thing if you want to but I just left everything the way it is and just covered the fish with some of the following:-

Yup, salt, pepper and McCormick's season-all powder…

It's The Hormones Slinging All Over Ryan Gosling

Every time I do this, you know I'm PMS-ing. I am usually quite sane and well-behaved. I promise you this. But..... After watching The Notebook, I am fully convinced that Ryan Gosling is not a man. He's sex. Pure sex. And love, of course. I knew that.I love Ryan Gosling whether he looks like he just woke up on an island....ESPECIALLY when he's half-naked!!!!I love him even if he's kissing someone other than me (who he SHOULD be kissing)I love him even when he's got literally no hair.I love him eventhough without the beard thing, he looks like a schoolboy still growing out his pubic hair.I love Ryan Gosling to the core and then you tell me one other thing to make me fall in love with him even more! I feel signs of a mild heart attack already!He plays the piano. He sings. And he sings to KIDS for Halloween!I come we good women who are only sometimes a teeny weeny bit (and I mean really tiny bit) bitchy never get one of these? What?! We DO …