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The Bug Battle

I am not much of a fighter. Put me in a boxing ring and I will serve you tea.

Peppermint green tea? Earl Grey?

Lately, I have been forced to bring out a little bit of the fighter in me. I hate bugs, I really, really do. I know they are smaller than me but the thought of being in contact with them scares me to no end.

But recently, for whatever reason, some bugs have made the booth (or some other parts of that old wheeler) of my car their home and they come out for regular walks around the dashboard, the steering wheel and sometimes peeka-boo at me from the window, just right above my head.

Did I say I hate bugs and they scare me? Try being stuck behind the wheel in a traffic jam with one crawling along your dashboard and heading towards your air-conditioner.

'You can't run, you can't hide, you're stuck behind the wheel and you can't stop the car and run down the street leaving your car behind because people will think you are CRAYYYYZZEEEEE', it sings at me.

Granted, they are really tiny but still.........a BUG. Size don't come into play over here. It's a bug. The end.

Frankly, I got really tired of being terrified of those bug-gers (intentional). Swear words are all over my brain every time I think I see one and I am not one to swear too much, if at all. But swear I did, whether consciously, sub-consciously, cosmically, internally, bodily and mentally. These don't even make sense, I know but...it feels that way.

So, I armed myself with a bug-beater. Well...technically, it's rolled up newspaper but bug-beater sounds more kick-ass. In the beginning, I was apologetic towards the bug (I don't know how I do this, man, seriously, to apologize to a bug that was TERRORIZING me) but as time wore on (and I kept missing the shithead), I got tired of being scared.

I killed the M*****F*****. And his/her/its friends or family, whatever. If there's more, I am ready with 3 brand new bug-beaters.

It's so simple for some people but to me, I feel like I am winning a war.


XOXO,
Marsha

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