Skip to main content

Just when you think you are a weird alien from the far reaches of outer space...


...you meet people who have same 'intrinsic' faults and problems as you do.

For one, your father and mother don't get along well with each other - never in your life have you seen or heard them NOT yell at each other. Your family must be a big failure. And that is also how you are now a big, fat failure. That is why you are poor like shit and live like beggar not rich.

Your sister is also the most annoying bitch person because all she ever thinks about is how her eye-lashes are not curling up the way it should. That her boyfriend bought her a diamond engagement ring and they are going to Bahamas for their wedding.

You can't fall asleep at night because your boss is a dickhead impatient person who works you to the bone, pays you much less than (you think) you deserve. Your mind whirls around at night thinking of ways to get away with choking him to death. In your dreams, you dream of opening a can of sardines only to see his marinated, preserved penis eyeball in there.

You think you don't have any friends, not because it is your fault, but everyone else are such lame excuses for human beings. They don't deserve your time - you'd rather spend it playing Cooking Mama, Reality Cooking on Nintendo Wii. Friends, who needs them?!

You love your kids but sometimes you feel like you want to give them up for charitable causes. Hey, LOTS of wonderful, rich, deluded couples are dying to have kids, you know. So, love is all about sharing and since you got more kids than you can handle, why not give them up? You'll need less money what. And besides, with all the extra cash now, you can probably quit your job, do nothing for a couple of months, pack your bags and head out to the woods and eat dried leaves...for health purposes.

When you think about it....everyone's got their own fair share of alien problems. Don't think so? Pour ten pints of beer down their throat and ask them soul-searching questions like, 'Have you...ever...EVER... been truly...absolutely....irrefutably...unconditionally....happy?' (Yeah, when I was still in the womb) or 'If Marlon Brando came back to life, do you think he will be a bird or gay...or both?'

And then you will see that they have their own special alien thoughts as well. All those stuff that made you think you were not a part of the human race....they were actually pretty normal in the end.

Toast to friends. Thanks for being alien....like me. :-)

Image credit: I found the picture of green alien saying hello to planet Earth here --> http://drwill.com

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Space Sweepers (Netflix): Movie Review (2021)

Space Sweeper the Korean Sci-Fi Blockbuster hits Netflix 2021 Image Source: KoreaTimes Let me come clean. The first thing I thought when I saw Song Joong Ki leading the lineup for this movie was ' Is this OK?'  ' Hhhmmm.....what about, you know...his personal life', and as a fan of his previous personal work, I had the same doubt I had when he was casted in 'Descendants of the Sun'.  Sorry, Joong Ki. 😳 But the concept of a sci-fi movie in the Korean film platter was enticing. The trailer didn't look half bad either. When it comes to space movies, Hollywood has always been the Big Guy. We expect Hollywood to deliver the big guns and explosions while Kdrama land is all mush, love, arm grabs, ice-cold kiss scenes, love triangles, and of late, time traveling.  So, sci-fi? Interesting. Honestly, I went in with an empty mind which is not necessarily an open one. Ditched the reviews, writeups, Youtube reactions and everything else and hit the 'watch' butto

Maid Side-Kick

I was kind of a little sad when I read the news about this - there will be no live-in Indonesian maids in Malaysia anymore . There are pros and cons to having a live-in maid, as with everything else, but for us, we enjoyed more pros than cons. Back then, when my kids were little, we brought in a family of maids to help with...well, just about everything, and we were like two families merged into one. They ate what we ate, we sleep, they sleep, we shop, they shop, they joke, we laugh, we joke, they laugh...for me, the maid I hired was more like a sister and side-kick to me. For that few years, I was dependent on her to mind-read my schedule and when I need or don't need help. She picked things up quickly and we ended up having lots of moments whereby we were in sync. Today, two of them are on my Facebook and we were gleefully chatting over Facebook Messenger since they've just discovered the wonders of the Internet and Social Media. Since we were more like partners in crim

Stargazer - Stretch Those Sides

I have been doing this pose, part of Cosmic Dance (a type of yoga, I am assuming), called Stargazer pose without knowing it is called Stargazer's pose a lot in the past. You see, sometimes, I don't follow the rules and come up with my own stretches and poses. It is fun. I have on some music, nice, soothing music or just anything I can click on. Then I go with the flow, letting my hair down. Just moving to the music...and that is when I come up with the above Stargazer's pose. This pose really stretches your sides. Keep your eyes on the outstretched hand if you are keeping it pointed to the top, as if you are waving or connecting to a higher energy from the Universe. Your arms will ache a little but hey, toned arms, here you come! :-) For those who want a bigger stretch, it is safe to slowly and gently move the lifted hand towards your back...don't overdo it, listen to your body's complaints and respect it. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, reme