Skip to main content

Monday Ha-Ha: Marriage

I've read this one before but my Aunt Angie sent me this via email today. I read it again and laughed till I was shaking. Hope it gives you the same kind of feel-good.


Marriage(Part I )
  
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and

after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: 
 
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time 

I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you. 
 I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless 
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. 
I'll  go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing 
when I want with my old buddies, and don't you 
give me a hard time about it. 
Those are my rules.  Any comments?" 
          
  His new bride said: 
"No, that's fine with me.  Just understand that there will be sex 
here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not." 
 
(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)

    ************ ********* ********* ********* *********

    
 Marriage (Part II)
 
 
    Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! 

    The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone 

that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!" 
  
   "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone 

that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!" 
 
    (HE ASKED FOR IT!)

 
  
 
************ ********* ** ************ ******
 
    
Marriage (Part III) 
 
 
    Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. 

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no 
good in bed either," and storms out of the house. 
 
 After some time he realizes he was nasty and 

decides to make amends and rings her up.   She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?" 

    She says, "I was in bed."
   
 
"In bed this early, doing what?" 
   
 
 "Getting a second opinion!" 
  
       (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!) 
 
  ************ ********* ********* ********* **
 
    
 Marriage (Part IV)
     
 
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.  
 He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his 
wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. 
  
    One night, they go to a party.  The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.  He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?" 
    
  His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, 
shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four." 
   
 
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
 
    ************ ********* ********* ********* **
 
   
THE SILENT TREATMENT
   

  A man and his wife were having some problems at home 
and were giving each other the silent treatment. 
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife 
to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. 
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece 
of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."  He left it where he knew she would find it. 
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it 
was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. 
   
 
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he 
noticed a piece of paper by the bed.   The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM.  Wake up." 
  
   Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. 
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Maid Side-Kick

I was kind of a little sad when I read the news about this - there will be no live-in Indonesian maids in Malaysia anymore.

There are pros and cons to having a live-in maid, as with everything else, but for us, we enjoyed more pros than cons. Back then, when my kids were little, we brought in a family of maids to help with...well, just about everything, and we were like two families merged into one. They ate what we ate, we sleep, they sleep, we shop, they shop, they joke, we laugh, we joke, they laugh...for me, the maid I hired was more like a sister and side-kick to me.

For that few years, I was dependent on her to mind-read my schedule and when I need or don't need help. She picked things up quickly and we ended up having lots of moments whereby we were in sync. Today, two of them are on my Facebook and we were gleefully chatting over Facebook Messenger since they've just discovered the wonders of the Internet and Social Media.

Since we were more like partners in crime, I f…

Grilled Salmon With Unagi Sauce

I always disagree with people who say that they are lazy to cook, it's too hard, no time, too difficult, easier to eat out....etc. I can't agree because I have found multiple ways to cook simple, cheap meals without causing too much of a ruckus to my schedule. All it takes is a little bit of planning ahead and research. And a sense of humor when it turns out...to put it nicely...sucks.

Anyway, here's one simple one that ANYONE (kids included) can cook up. Seriously simple and easy.


I love salmon but my kids don't like the smell and texture. But that doesn't mean that I can't go out to the market and spend RM11 on ONE single piece of salmon fish and make MYSELF one, right? Kids can have the overnight pizza. :-)
This is fresh from the market....man oh man! I LOVE IT!!
Wash it properly, de-bone the thing if you want to but I just left everything the way it is and just covered the fish with some of the following:-

Yup, salt, pepper and McCormick's season-all powder…

It's The Hormones Slinging All Over Ryan Gosling

Every time I do this, you know I'm PMS-ing. I am usually quite sane and well-behaved. I promise you this. But..... After watching The Notebook, I am fully convinced that Ryan Gosling is not a man. He's sex. Pure sex. And love, of course. I knew that.I love Ryan Gosling whether he looks like he just woke up on an island....ESPECIALLY when he's half-naked!!!!I love him even if he's kissing someone other than me (who he SHOULD be kissing)I love him even when he's got literally no hair.I love him eventhough without the beard thing, he looks like a schoolboy still growing out his pubic hair.I love Ryan Gosling to the core and then you tell me one other thing to make me fall in love with him even more! I feel signs of a mild heart attack already!He plays the piano. He sings. And he sings to KIDS for Halloween!I mean.....aawwwwww......how come we good women who are only sometimes a teeny weeny bit (and I mean really tiny bit) bitchy never get one of these? What?! We DO …