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My letter to La-Lah Suk

Dear La-Lah Suk, Actually, I am a very normal person only. I don’t spend a lot, I got no title after my name. I live a very ordinary life. But I think ah, even if I am not important person like you, I also have to say that I very tulan these days lor. I mean, I think you play the game not very fair lah, you know. I never say anything wan, when not required. People talk politics, I talk about logos. People talk about Parliament debate, I talk about Internet Marketing. I mind my own biz lah, right? You want to sleep, sleep. You want to spweak on International interview like dunno how to spweak England (Malaysian's way of saying English), never mind. But this time ah, I think SUD-DEN-LY say ‘Wokay, you have six hours to save on petrol. Ready? Get Set, go lidat, not very fair lor’. Eh, you live in luxury house swollen with cash, not my biz lah. I never ask you to share-share your money with me mah. I make my own money mah. But when you suddenly tell us that we have to pay more without giving us a chance to make more, really not fair game lah, you know. Ya ya ya, I know last time you mentioned liao that maybe like this, maybe like that…but sometimes you say ‘maybe’, sometimes you say ‘certainly’….eh, you think we all what….mind readers ah? I don’t know how to hold a position like yours so I cannot teach you how to be a good (whatever it is your title is) but from a simple Malaysian’s point of view, a bit too much lah, your style. Cannot tahan (stand it) lor. Maybe you trying to be like George Bush, make controversial decision and all that, but THAT’S YOUR BUSINESS lah, don’t make us all suffer for it mah, rite or not? Fair or not? Now, ordinary folks like us scared to go out because maybe kena (got) robbed, cannot carry handbag around liao. Then also cannot enjoy my wine liao, too expensive. Maybe have to cancel some of kids’ tuitions and piano classes lor. Then we stick to the house or move into a kampong papan (wooden) house lor. But that also maybe not work lah, you know because kids have to eat, you know. Then we all also don’t dare to wear nice-nice clothes because many some financially-strained and stressed out individual might rogol (rape) people wearing white shirts leh, you know. But even if they eat char-siu-pow (meat dumping) every meal every day also cannot survive you know because char-siu-pow also sure more expensive these days, rite? Aiya, La-Lah Suk, please lah, play fair lah. Next time you want to change the rules, don’t be so like that, so suddenly you say OK, like this, OK like that. We all pengsan (faint), you know because you got power mah, we all don’t have mah. Where can???? La-Lah Suk, please lah. PLEASE lah. PPPPPLLLLLLEEEEAAAAZZZEEEEE, we not saying you not doing your job. We not saying you are not good. You are GOOD but maybe your stylo not very happening (suitable or popular) lor. If you are listening to some advice from people, maybe you are not listening to the right people. I don’t know lah….sigh. Like this, I rather go to NZ and live the sheeps better. I don’t want to get into trouble for writing this but if writing this from the bottom of my heart also kena (get into trouble), susah (difficult), you know. I really mean it wan! Begging in sincerity, Simple Citizen p.s. I am not making fun with this thing ah. It’s really a letter from my heart. It scares me how much I mean every word I’ve just typed up there. Maybe because I was typing like I want to talk, that’s why. Pak Lah, please lah, please.


Deputy PM has asked us to change our lifestyle so that we can maintained our similar high quality of life. Here are some suggestions
1. If you are using a Mercedes 350 SL change to Mercedes 200. If you use public transport to work, now you have a choice to cycle or walk to work. Believe me , it is good for your heart.
2. If you use to take your vacation in London, Paris, New York or Tokyo now you should spend your time at Beijing or Bali. For those of you who visit Cameron Highlands or Penang, you can now visit Putrajaya and Cyberjaya. Believe me it is a wonderful place.
3. Ladies using YSL, Prada or what have you, get it from Petaling Street instead of the Pavilion. It is always cheaper but I can't gurantee it will last longer.
4. Mothers To Be can use the internet and learn how to deliver your own babies instead of paying a bomb to the blood sucking O&G. Get your mother in law to be on stand by in case her future grand child gives your problem.
5. For those who are brave enough you can always exchange toll tickets. Figure it out yourself. This is commonly done by transport companies. Heh Heh. Imagine when they remove the Simpang Pulai toll at Ipoh, you can drive from JB to Penang paying less than RM 2. PLUS is making so much money that they think it is not worth the time to plug this loophole.
6. For those regular Genting Kakis never pay for any drinks because you can have it free in the casino. Make sure you have one before making your way down or otherwise rugi lah.
7. MacDonald is giving a free Big Mac if you can babble a phrase in less than 4 seconds. Start practicing now. It is worth the time.
8. For those with dental problems forget about implant,bridge or crown, just yank it out. You don't need 32 teeth to function. Trust me because I only have 24.
9. Lastly wear your socks and undie for 2 days instead of 1. Save on washing.
Marsha Maung said…
It sounds so simple hor? Easy only what, change lifestyle change lor. wazzde problem?

I can do all except for the last one. Wear my undie and socks two days in a row, might as well put in on death row!
Jamie said…
change lifestyle? why dun change the fucking gomen and see if the changes take effect. I mean, gomen also part of our life what right? part of life = lifestyle loh

or maybe they can change their lifestyle by trying some different kind of meat....good for their brains ma...bunch of bastardized, useless sonofabitch arseholes
Jamie said…
ya, forgot to add in item 11....use, wash, relubricate and reuse condoms. That goes for sanitary pads and what else that we can think of also...cut cost ma and change lifestyle ma...
Marsha Maung said…
OMG, the people in Africa should have been able to hear me laughing like a mad ahole!!!! recycle sanitary pad?????????

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