Many people I know tell me that they accept the idea of One Night Stand and that they don't mind doing it as long as the heart isn't in it. Many of them men. They tell me that they can emotionally detach themselves from being involved because they are programmed that way. I believe that I read this somewhere a long time ago....that men can compartmentalize their brain. Like this is business and this is home. Or this is football and that's my Kids. Or this is for love and this is for lust.
Then there are the women. Sigh, women have been trying to catch up to men in every aspect of life in work, in politics, in sports. We ARE catching up, me included. I strive every single day to make sure that I am no less than men although this is not my ultimate focus. Ultimately, I only want to be better than I was yesterday...but still.
Women, sadly, have yet to reach a point whereby we can say 'Yeah, let's do it. No feelings attached'. I can tell you that I have never had One Night Stands....despite the abundant number of chances I've had. Well....maybe one more than ten years ago but let's not go down that road (which made me feel smelly, dirty and worthless). Whenever a woman decides to go to bed with a man, a small part of her brain remains open, the feelings, the emotions. For a woman, the core starts at the heart, therefore, it makes it harder for us to detach even in the midst of sex. If we don't feel it, we can't do it. Which was why the many times I almost habis-habis naked and yet chickened-out. Then they call me a cock-teaser....but it's not true. Women find it hard.
For those women who have had one night stands and can talk and think straight in front of that person, KUDOS, man! Terror-nya. But I don't expect any one of you to confess, of course.
The reason why I am writing this is because I want to reach someone. I want to tell him that it hurts. That women will cry over it. And that in the future, if you want to do it again, please select carefully. I am not a religious person, but I hope you will repent. And at least have the decency to be NICE NICE NICE and NICE after that even if everything has been spelled out very clearly.
True, we're living in a modern world. We are grown-ups and that we should be able to take responsibility for our actions but....sometimes women find it hard. A man should be gentlemanly enough to help the woman make the transition towards detachment.
p.s. DON'T WORRY, it's not me. If it was me, I wouldn't be writing about it here. You want to me to 'sei' (die) ah? But actually, very troubled because both are my friends, that's all. Kena KEPIT (squashed) in the middle very susah (difficult) job, you know.