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Edison Chen’s Sex-Plosive Scandal

Left: The HERO himself Poor Gillian Chung…poor girl….nnnnaaaauuuugggghhhhtttttyyyyyy girl! Ngek Ngek Ngek. It’s a pity (no, seriously) that this baby-faced ‘twin’ who can’t sing for nuts is caught in, yet again, another fiasco. She must really hate the limelight by now, if she doesn’t, then she’s got no sense in her head. And poor Bobo Chan (it’s a stupid name to give yourself, honestly. I’d punch anyone in the nose if they call me BOBO!) and Cecelia Cheung have gone into hiding as well. Poor clown (Bobo) might have her soon-to-be-cancelled-held wedding cancelled postponed. Cecelia have nothing to worry lah since she’s now married and have a kid liao. So what she’s bared her pussy privates to the world? Nothing to worry….she’s safe. Don’t tell me Nicholas Tse is so kolot (old-fashioned) until want to divorce because of something like this ah? Who knows Cecelia even did the hand-cuff and whip thing with him in living colors some more leh, right?

Left - Gillian Chung: The Naughty Girl caught with legs spreadeagled

OK, anyway, here’s what I think of all that’s been going around on the Internet and press….leave the naughty guys and girls alone lah. Their lives are tough now, cannot celebrate Chinese New Year, cannot go shopping scared people look at you and imagine you clothesless, scared to have sex now because they scared their partners might have a hidden camera or something. What kind of life they are living right now – sad-lah, ok? So, they had sex, so? You don’t have sex meh? You don’t take your clothes off when you have sex meh? You don’t occasionally ask your partner to dress up in police costume before having sex meh? You don’t get BJs from your partner meh? You don’t ask your partner to go down on you meh? You don’t fondle yourself and do naughty things in front of your partner to turn him/her on meh? It’s normal lah. Give the guys a friggin’ break lor….

Left - Bobo Chan: Good mouth, you've got....nice teeth too

Do I think Edison Chen is wrong? Nope. I don’t think he’s wrong. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being sex-cited with the notion of filming and taking pictures of your sex-ploits with ‘chun’ (good-looking) girls and view them later on at your own leisure (or share them with a couple of close friends over some beer). As far as I can see, the girls all consented to the filming and recordings. Therefore, he didn’t do anything wrong.

Do I think he’s a pervert? If he’s a pervert that 99.999999% of the male population are perverts. 68.33369% of females are perverts as well. I think it’s just a very personal preference-lah, right? I mean, some people like whips, some people like upside down position, some people like to do it with animals….he likes to record things down. Not a very twisted predilection at all….

Left - Cecelia Cheung should consider taking up shaving tools endorsements

Did I download the pictures and laugh my head off when I saw it? What do you think I am? A saint?! Of course I did! *LOL* I know Edison’s privates inside out upside down liao! Ha ha ha ha ha! But I am not going to post anything up – first, afraid that the Interpol come knocking on my door. Second, respect lah….I privately enjoy can already lor. But if you live near my house, I might burn a copy for you on a CD, though. Ten Ringgit only….cheap cheap. But you can still find the pictures floating in the cyberworld lor. Youtube and Google can only do so much to delete them from their database….go and search harder.

15 things I’ve learned JUST from looking at the pictures

  1. Don’t take your clothes off when having sex
  2. Shave pubic hair until it’s shining
  3. Even if take photos or videos while ‘performing’, should always face your private parts elsewhere….not directly into the camera and focus kow-kow some more
  4. Cecelia has lots of unruly curls in her pubic hair
  5. Edison gives a good lick
  6. He has a decent-sized dick
  7. Bobo gives a good BJ
  8. Bobo got no boobs
  9. Joey Wong wears make-up before/while (can’t tell, not much revealed in the ones I found) having sex
  10. Upon breakup with your boyfriend, smash the bloody camera, laptop, video camera, handphone into smitterins. Basically, burn his whole bloody house down to prevent future leakage
  11. Never send your laptop or computer for repair. Learn to repair it yourself
  12. Gillian looks cute even when very steam (Malaysians used the term ‘steam’ to describe excitement)
  13. Don’t drink/smoke/take drugs until you’re like Cecelia Cheung who was obviously, from looking at the pictures, high on one thing or another.
  14. Remove tattoos, rings, earrings, moles, and other personally incriminating evidences on your body if you want to record your sex-ploits down
  15. Say ‘NO’ to sex…..even if he’s a handsome, tall, young, loaded bloke like Edison. Being a nun is safer

Anyway, I heard that Edison and Gillian were totally distraught (I would be shell-shocked if they were not) with the hullabaloo and I DO seriously wish them well and hope the road to recovery (and memory loss) is a quick one. I didn’t want to say anything, at first, because you know lah…..I don’t like to have fun at other people’s expense but as a blogger, I would be doing myself injustice if I didn’t say anything, right or not? I am obliged to make comments about ‘breaking news’ and bloody hell, you can take my kidney if you tell me this isn’t breaking news!

So, now that I’ve done my job, I will put this to rest. Hopefully everybody will forget about how these starlets’ private parts look like and put this pornographic clamor aside and let the stars move on with their lives.

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